Monthly Archives: May 2004

Women and Shoes and Blessings

Offspring Number Two, Lila, 19, is home from Stern College for Women. In New York City, Stern is one of the few campuses in the United States where the students do not organize “Take Back the Night” marches. They do not have to because the religious Jewish women in Stern have enough common sense not […]

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Burping Maidels

Ever since the children have been old enough to understand good table manners, I have drilled them on proper etiquette. I have taught them to fold their napkins in half and put them in their laps. I have drilled them in using the correct forks, spoons and knives; I have insisted that they hold their […]

Posted in Remembering Ariel | Leave a comment

The Heart Nailed

When Ariel died, I discovered that I no longer speak the same language as everyone else. When I speak there is a feeling that no matter what I say, the other person cannot possibly understand what I mean. Every word, every thought is infused with a sense of what is not. “Good morning, how’re you […]

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With Shuddering Fall

It is the nights that are the most difficult. Our routine is fixed. Karen continues to work until ten or eleven at night. It is her only escape; the only way she can block the pain from colonizing her mind. As a psychologist, she evaluates tests, writes up reports, makes recommendations. She does this with […]

Posted in Remembering Ariel | 3 Responses

Remembrance of a Shabbos Past

The arrival of Shabbos is a time of awe and delight for observant Jews. The Kabbalists in Safed used to dress in white and singing with joy they would greet the Sabbath Bride in the mountains. Here in Pico Robertson, Los Angeles, we too greet the Sabbath albeit with a less romantic gesture. The Sabbath […]

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Lila Comes Home

Last night, Karen and I drove to the Long Beach Airport. Our daughter Lila was arriving from New York where she is attending Stern College for Women, the female branch of Yeshiva University. As we drove along the LA Freeway, Karen and I talked about Lila’s plans for the summer. She is interning at an […]

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Crying on the 405

Ever since Ariel died, I find myself crying in the most unexpected of places. I remember the last year of Ariel’s life. I drove him to pulmonary therapy three times a week. I drove him to his medical appointments twice a week. If he was strong enough, I would drive him to shul or to […]

Posted in Remembering Ariel | 2 Responses

What to do?

When Ariel died, I sat shiva. I said Kaddish. I’m still saying Kaddish, just about a month left. Gosh, how I dread not saying the Kaddish for Ariel. It will be a gaping abyss in my davening. I arranged to learn Torah with several Chavrusahs in Ariel’s memory. But nothing seems to be enough. Several […]

Posted in Remembering Ariel | 2 Responses

Thinking of Ariel…

Several months ago, my beloved son Ariel Chaim passed away. I am forever changed. I will write about him, about loss and memory for as long as I can.

Posted in Remembering Ariel | 1 Response
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