The other day, I was asked why my marriage to Karen is so good. Immediately, I answered: “Because I’m smart enough to know that Karen is smarter than me, and I act accordingly.”
Karen adds: I could write a book on this probably, but Robert asked me to comment. I will quote Rabbi Fohrman, who quoted Rabbi Twersky. The short answer all derive from the root word Hodaya, which means thanks, or acknowledgment. You must know how to thank your spouse, to acknowledge their qualities, i.e. give them lots of praise, and also to know how to apologize, how to do Vidui, also from the same root. A more personal answer is that you have to be best friends, you have to want to be with this person more than any other person. Like my brother told me, you never get tired of being with this person, you don’t need a break. You don’t need a night out with the boys or the girls. You want to watch movies with them, and if you do go out and have a great time you want to want to relive it all over again with your best friend. It’s the person you know will support you no matter what. Robert will always take my side, I can tell him everything, he is my best ______ you fill in the blank. He understands me like no one else. That is the key to a good marriage. Support, friendship, communication, respect. When you have those, you can relax, let down your hair and then you can laugh or cry with abandon.
Have a lovely and meaningful Shabbos.