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December 21, 2004
The True Answer
Karen and I receive, on a daily basis, many beautiful and deeply moving letters. The internet and e-mail have once again made us a nation of letter-writers and for this we are enriched and elevated. For a long time, our generation thought that writing letters was something people did back in the "olden days." But now, e-mail being so common, and so easy to use, people are again investing energy and time into words sent out into cyber space, ultimately binding people together in ways never before imagined. Strangers are now intimate friends. Karen and I, because of this website/blog/diary/confessional/whatever, have moved from an abyss of terrible isolation into a womb of caring friends, most of whom we would not recognize in a face-to-face encounter.
I wish I could share with you all of the mail we receive, but of course, that is not possible. But Seraphic Friend Sara, mother to Timmy ZT"L, sent this e-mail a few days ago and gave me permission to share it with all of you.
Sara writes:
Timmy’s yahrzeit is in two days, and lately I’ve had much less energy than usual. Just doing my job, taking care of the kids and my usual appointments have pretty much taken up the strength I have.But I just caught up on your blog, and feel touched, as always, to share a little bit in your lives.
Recently, you’ve written about feeling happy sometimes, together with the sadness at Ariel’s memory (I really loved your Chanukah story). That makes me feel very good. For me, it was a huge blessing when I started to be able to enjoy my memories of Timmmy and feel more than just the pain of watching her suffer and then losing her, and I wish that blessing for you as well. I, for one, am glad you and Karen got out and enjoyed shopping together! I do know how hard it is, not to feel that the enjoyment isn’t somehow a betrayal, but I’m learning to let go of that feeling.
The ache is always there, waiting to surface together with all the things I want to say when asked how I am. I want to say that I’m no longer the person I was, and often feel as if I don’t even know who I am anymore. But I almost never say those things. I’ve finally learned to say “fine” when people ask, even if I’m not. The true answer would always be too long, too complex, and too true for most people to handle.
Sara
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at December 21, 2004 03:18 PM
Comments
Seraphic Secret is private property, that's right, it's an extension of our home, and as such, Karen and I have instituted two Seraphic Rules and we ask commentors to act respectfully.
1. No profanity.2. No Israel bashing. We debate, we discuss, we are respectful. You know what Israel bashing is. The world is full of it. Seraphic Secret is one of the few places in the world that will not tolerate this form of anti-Semitism. That's it. Break either of these rules and you will be banned.