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April 03, 2005
Ordinary Days
It was a grim Shabbos.
Saturday April 2, was Ariel's English birthday. He was born in 1981. All day long, Karen and I glanced at one another, sharing this knowledge, this intimate moment in time that no one else appeared to recall. And if they did remember, they felt too awkward to saying anything to us -- which I can well understand.
"How can this be," Karen said to me, "that it's Ariel's birthday and he's not here for us to hug him?"
I tell myself that it's just another day, a day of loss like any other, but something deep and dark grips me and there is simply no convincing myself that it really is just another day. In fact, there are no ordinary days anymore. How can they be? Life is now lived at a different level of consciousness. Even in moments of great joy, there is an awareness that all is not right, that all can never be right; life is now perpetually out of balance.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at April 3, 2005 06:08 AM
Comments
Seraphic Secret is private property, that's right, it's an extension of our home, and as such, Karen and I have instituted two Seraphic Rules and we ask commentors to act respectfully.
1. No profanity.2. No Israel bashing. We debate, we discuss, we are respectful. You know what Israel bashing is. The world is full of it. Seraphic Secret is one of the few places in the world that will not tolerate this form of anti-Semitism. That's it. Break either of these rules and you will be banned.
shavua tov robert and karen ... whereas for me i celebrated my daughter's 25th birthday this last shabbat; it's a question of balance and perspective i suppose .... then again i fully understand your feelings as they arise in me on november 22 ... only the family of bereaved parents can fully grasp it ... as we are forced to cope with something so unnatural, so upside down ... so contrary to what typically is the order of life ... that such mouthings as "time heals all wounds" obviously first coined by someone other than a bereaved parent ... such mouthings would be hilarious were they not so short-sighted and wisdomless ... we needs act as our own therapists; frankly i think the best medicine that can treat, but not cure, this affliction of a parent's broken heart is sharing, communicating, lending an empathetic ear and writing, writing, writing ...
Sincerely,
Alan
Dear Alan:
Thanks so much for your kind and generous note. I agree that sharing and communiucating with others is helpful, but at the end of the day we are alone with our loss and grief. BTW, once again, I tried answering privately but my mail was bounced back to me. There is something wrong with your aol email account.
Best
Robert J Avrech
Posted by: alan at April 3, 2005 09:02 PM