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May 03, 2005
Seraphic Beauty Secrets
Offspring # 1 returns to NY this morning. She leaves at five AM in order to make a 7 AM flight from Long Beach. Jet Blue rules. The house is quiet again. Offspring # 2 drags herself off to school. She's in a sulk. My offspring have grown even closer since Ariel died. When the offspring are together the atmosphere in the house is charged with laughter and joy. It's almost impossible not to smile when you see the offspring together. They try on each other's outfits; they obsessively exchange shoes; small mountains of clothing miraculously appear all over the house. Offspring go on onlysimchas and squeal with delight--not at the shiudduchim, but at the wedding gowns. Offspring wrestle like frisky puppies. Offspring huddle over the laptop and howl with laughter.
"What's so funny," I ask, feeling like the proverbial clueless parent.
"This girl on frumteens dot com," says OS #1.
"She's like soooooo weird," adds OS #2.
They show me the page they're looking at.
I read and you should too: My 71 Reasons Not to Talk to Guys.
I show it to Karen and she quite rightly observes that if you simply substitute "sleep with" instead of "talk to" then it makes a great deal more sense for a wider audience.
In any case, I'm convinced. No more talking to guys for me.
For my female readers, my friend Jackie has a fantastic new site, a beauty blog, that you absolutely have to see. Hillary Johnson, the LA Times's "beauty intellectual", and Jackie's new blog is all about makeup, skin care, hair care, salons, spas, treatments, and anything else that can help women in their glorious quest to look and feel better.
Upcoming features include the "Browser Wars," where the top eyebrow
artists in the world go head to head with one another in interviews, and a visit to the French town of Grasse, the perfume capital
of the world. In the meantime, they are talking about lip gloss, bad
packaging, and why men are beautiful too.
Jackie indicates that guest writers are welcome to submit ideas.
Here's a few articles I'd like to write.
1. How Manolo Blahnik Can Save Islamic Civilization.
2. What Women Really Talk About Behind the Mechitza.
3. Help, I'm Obsessed With My Wife and My Friends Think I'm Weird!
4. How LL Bean Changed my Life.
5. Beauty Tips from Hasidic Women: Beyond Bullet Proof Stockings.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at May 3, 2005 08:29 AM
Comments
Seraphic Secret is private property, that's right, it's an extension of our home, and as such, Karen and I have instituted two Seraphic Rules and we ask commentors to act respectfully.
1. No profanity.2. No Israel bashing. We debate, we discuss, we are respectful. You know what Israel bashing is. The world is full of it. Seraphic Secret is one of the few places in the world that will not tolerate this form of anti-Semitism. That's it. Break either of these rules and you will be banned.
How about an article entitled:
"Beauty Is In the Eyes of the Beholder...and Boy, Is that Beholder Beautiful!"
Or an article entitled (as sung to a familiar tune):
"The Shoes Are Connected to the Suit, the Suit Is Connected to the Blouse, the Blouse Is Connected to the Diamond-and-Gold Necklace, the Diamond-and-Gold Necklace Is Connected to Giving Birth to Child #2, Child #2 is Connected to Stretch Marks,
Stretch Marks Are Connected to Lyposuction, Lyposuction is Connected to Top Plastic Surgeon, Top Plastic Surgeon Is My Brother-In-Law...."
Posted by: Pearl at May 3, 2005 09:48 AM
"Here's a few articles I'd like to write."
"3. Help, I'm Obsessed With My Wife and My Friends Think I'm Weird!"
Robert.....I would say your friends are jealous.
Posted by: Lance at May 4, 2005 08:12 AM