« The Truth About Suicide Bombers | Main | Seraphic Shakespearean Urges »
July 20, 2005
Seraphic First Date
The continuing saga of how Robert fell in love with Karen when he was nine-years old, stayed in love with her throughout high school, college, and post college. In this, our latest installment, Robert is finally going out with Karen on a first date.
The Lovely Girl From Boro Park is not happy. As soon as Karen leaves TLGFBP wants to know what's going on. She demands to know where she stands, even though we've only gone out once. She makes it clear that I have to choose between her and “that girl.”
Sheesh, you'd think Karen had a scarlet A emblazoned across her chest.
I take a deep breath and spill. TLGFBP rolls with this new plot-point because, well, that's the kind of young woman she is—realistic and diligent about guiding her future.
Anyhoo.
The next time I see TLGFBP, she's flirting with a Lovely Boy From Boro Park on 47th street. We chat for a few moments and part on a chilly but polite note.
I call Karen the next day and we make plans to meet in three days for a private film critic's screening, a perk my job offers me. Very casual, we'll meet at my office.
I have a hard time concentrating on work the day of my first date with Karen. I am Editor-in-Chief of Millimeter, a film magazine. Desperately trying to edit a long interview I did with director Roman Polanski, I'm having very little success. Instead of talking about the craft of film he constantly veers off into fascinating but somewhat inappropriate monologues about the joys of female flesh.
So nervous am I before meeting with Karen that I sprint to the restroom, fall to my knees like a slaughtered lamb and heave.
Karen is waiting for me outside my office. After saving for months, I have finally bought a Nikon camera. Karen is sooooo beautiful, so ravishing, that I positively yearn to start snapping away. But I sense that Karen is naturally reserved and my intuition tells me that if I raise the lens she will freeze like a deer in headlights.
We walk to Farm Food, a dairy restaurant that no longer exists. You older folks will remember it as offering decent food, decent service and moderate prices. Karen has no interest in going to one of the more expensive restaurants. She doesn't make a big deal out of it, but I find out that she is—and remains—a vegetarian:
“Not out of any ethical considerations,” Karen goes out of her way to explain, “I just don't like the taste of meat.”
Conversation flows easily, though my guts are churning and my heart beats like a Ginger Baker drum solo. I talk about films and screenplays and my dream of a Hollywood career.
Karen
Does
Not
Flinch
Understand how unusual this is. This is the 70's. There are no Orthodox Jews in the film business. Oh, wait, Shimon Wincelberg Z"L, a friend of my father from Yeshiva University, has had a pretty good run writing episodic TV. But I'm determined to crack feature films. The odds are not good for normal people, and for an Orthodox Jew, well, I have a better chance of becoming head of the Physics Department at MIT — and let's not forget that I have a severe math disability.
After dinner, Karen and I walk to the screening that, as Editor of Millimeter, I'm obliged to attend. The whole time we're walking I steal glances at her and say to myself: It's really her. Karen Singer is actually on a date with me—of her own free will.
Karen sees something that prompts her to say: “America is a great country. I hate when people put it down.”
As these words spill from her mouth, I actually feel like getting down on my hands and knees and kissing her feet. Anti-American sentiment is fashionable, a by-product of the Viet Nam War. I hate the poisonous rhetoric used by the anti-war protesters. Karen's unadorned love of America is not popular and signals that she is not afraid to stand outside the currents of popular culture. I admire her enormously.
Here is what I discover about Karen during our dinner:
1. Her intelligence is fierce, but she holds it in reserve.
2. She is practical without being dull.
3. She has impeccable table manners.
4. She's religious, but does not make a display of it.
5. She does not flip her hair.
6. She does not idly play with her split-ends. Well, not too much.
7. She does not make believe that she knows more than she does.
8. She has no interest in status.
9. She becomes more beautiful the more time I spend with her.
10. She has no idea who Akira Kurosawa is.
Outside the restaurant:
“Karen, I just bought this new camera and I was wondering if I could test it out?”
“You mean, take my picture?”
“I guess.”
She ponders a moment. Shrugs. She smiles and says, “Hurry up, before I get too nervous.”
Snick!
It is the best picture I have ever taken because it records the moment when I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I would marry Karen Singer.
The movie we go to, A Small Town in Texas, is awful, just awful. I take Karen home and tell her that I want to see her again—as soon as possible. I explain that at the end of the week I'm flying to Sweden to spend a month with some friends that I met in Israel.
She looks at me and says, “Oh.”
I have no idea what her single word of dialog indicates.
Karen adds:
First of all: Robert told me he was leaving for Sweden the first day we met, and I couldn't believe it. That gave an urgency to our encounter from the very first moment.
Second, every girl in the universe plays with her split ends, perhaps not in public, but it's on the x chromosome — for sure.
Third, Robert forgot to mention that I sensed he was so incredibly nervous that I had to say something or I would burst. I said something like, “I think if we talk about how nervous you seem to be it might help.” Of course, this just made matters worse. After I made that incredible faux pas of addressing Robert's jitters, I beat it to the ladies room, but I think he actually did relax a bit.
Farm Food was already on the skids, on a seamy side street right off Times Square. I wasn't officially a vegetarian yet, but potato latkes and mock chopped liver weren't for me either. I think I had my standard melon.
The comment about the United States completely escapes my memory, but it was probably related to the Bicentennial which was coming up in a week. Yes, it was that long ago.
To be continued.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at July 20, 2005 09:13 AM
Comments
Seraphic Secret is private property, that's right, it's an extension of our home, and as such, Karen and I have instituted two Seraphic Rules and we ask commentors to act respectfully.
1. No profanity.2. No Israel bashing. We debate, we discuss, we are respectful. You know what Israel bashing is. The world is full of it. Seraphic Secret is one of the few places in the world that will not tolerate this form of anti-Semitism. That's it. Break either of these rules and you will be banned.
Robert,
They say a picture is worth a thousand words.
...You can stop writing for a while.
Posted by: Pearl at July 20, 2005 09:52 AM
Pearl: I can stop writing? You might as well tell me to stop breathing. But seriously, I might rest for a day or two. I have to hand in a script on Friday and this post should be good till then, no?
Posted by: Robert Avrech at July 20, 2005 10:13 AM
Yeah...but commenting on the comments will not let you rest!
Posted by: Pearl at July 20, 2005 10:21 AM
Robert...as a current resident of Las Vegas I like to think I know a little something about jackpots.
All I can say is............ cha ching!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good Luck with your script :)
Posted by: Lance at July 20, 2005 11:00 AM
Your story is heart warming.
The romance, so moving.
From the photo, it is obvious why you fell for Karen: Her soul shines straight through, and she is beautiful.
Thank you for sharing,
Yael
Posted by: Yael at July 20, 2005 11:32 AM
Sniff! I love this story. I remember the first time I saw that photo of Karen, on Robert's computer as his desktop wallpaper. Truly breathtaking, especially as I have had the privilege to know them in the present day. As this story unfolds, from both points of view, I feel like I'm friends with characters in a timeless tale. Lucky me.
(By the way, Robert, I think the close second to this photo of Karen is the one of child #3, huddled against the wall - you know the one I mean. Beautiful stuff.)
Posted by: Jackie Danicki at July 20, 2005 11:36 AM
Pearl: True, commenting on comments will not let me rest, but I would get even less rest if I were so rude as not to answer the people who are kind enough and take the time and effort to write to Seraphic Secret.
Posted by: Robert Avrech at July 20, 2005 12:25 PM
Your blog is like reading a fabulous book that is hard to put down.
Thank you for letting us be voyeurs in the journey of how your love blossomed. It is heartwarming.
And Karen, you are so beautiful, just like Ariel. I positioned your photos next to each other and there is such a strong likeness.
How interesting that you got to interview Roman Polanski, Robert. He is a perv but I love his films. Most recently, The Pianist was just wonderful.
And I can't help but giggle to think of you hurling because you were so nervous. What a huge compliment, Karen!!
Posted by: Stacey at July 20, 2005 01:03 PM
Dear Yael: I have told people that I can see Karen's soul in this very picture and they tell me that I am hallucinating! It's good to know that someone else can see it too. Thanks sooooo much.
Posted by: Robert at July 20, 2005 01:45 PM
Dear Jackie: You are friends with the real people and with the "characters" in the blog, all of whom are quite real. As for the other picture you refer to. Yes, that pictrure is a rare beauty and someday I hope to publish it on the blog, but only with the permission of Offspring #3.Thanks so much for the comment and for all your help, Without you Seraphic Secret would not exist.
Posted by: Robert at July 20, 2005 01:49 PM
Stacey: Thanks so much for your kind words. Our children are blessed in that they all bear a striking resemblance to Karen. As for me hurling chunks before my first date with Karen, well, yes, that's the kind guy I am: a total romantic.
Posted by: Robert at July 20, 2005 02:07 PM
Dear Robert and Karen,
Thanks. The picture was a helpful addition. It was brave and kind of you Karen to allow it to be posted.
Farmfood. My parents loved that place, used to take us there as kids. I think it never had a hashgacha but word was that it was kosher. The proof often offered was that they had a washing cup from Israel.
On another note, perhaps one day you'd be willing to share what your job is like. You mentioned that a script is due. Is there a set schedule of scripts you write on a regular basis? Or is it on a basis of demand? Are you paid even when projects don't happen? It sounds like getting one script made into an actual film is such a giant accomplishment. I'm fascinated and in some degree of awe.
Posted by: rabbifleischmann at July 20, 2005 03:31 PM
Rabbi Fleischmann: Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I am often asked about my work as a screenwriter and I suppose the time has come for Seraphic Secret to reveal all about Hollywood and what makes it tick. Hint: it is not money. And yes, getting a film made is a huge undertaking, and getting huger (?!) all the time.
Posted by: Robert at July 20, 2005 03:45 PM
I will restrict my comments to this one, for I feel very immodest in these totally revealing posts. But I do want to thank readers for their kind words. Telling this story is an indulgence I only allow myself because of the unbearable grief that stalks me every minute of the day. Looking into my own eyes, I see Ariel, and it's unbearable. I know that makes no sense, but nothing does anymore. Anyway, whatever audience reads the blog, please allow all this frivolity, and yes, vanity. It all balances out.
Posted by: Karen Avrech at July 20, 2005 04:01 PM
This is truly a very heartwarming ongoing story. 3 times a day, literally, I check the blog praying you have added another segment of this great story...keep up those positive feelings!!!!
(If you mind me asking, is there anyway I can have an email forwarded to my email address every time the blog is updated?
Posted by: M. O. at July 20, 2005 04:18 PM
Dear M.O. Three times a day! Gosh, I have enough pressure from the Hollywood studios! But we do thank you for your generous words. As for having Seraphic Secret forwarded to your e-mail address, I have asked my webmaster about this for you are not the first reader to make this request. I will soon have an answer for you. If it's possible, Seraphic Secret will make it happen. Please stay in touch.
Posted by: Robert at July 20, 2005 04:26 PM
The black and white photo captures your beautiful soul Karen. And, if I may add, there is nothing frivolous or vain about a love story that produces three wonderful children and lasts over a 1/4 of a century. Thank you again, for allowing us into your sweet story.
Posted by: Randi at July 20, 2005 05:04 PM
Mrs. Avrech Im not sure why you are so surprised to see Ariel when you look into your eyes, i see him too.
Posted by: Ari Z. Miller ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.seraphicpress.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at July 20, 2005 07:02 PM
Robert and Karen -
The only word I can think of that does justice to this beautiful story is:
*Sigh*
Sara
Posted by: With Love at July 20, 2005 08:29 PM
Sara: Karen and I are glad that we can give you a good sigh.
Posted by: Robert Avrech at July 20, 2005 08:38 PM
I am new here, but I want to see your picture also! Karen is beautiful! Your story is wonderful, I find myself checking in each day now. If the picture on your blog is Ariel, well, he was beautiful also. I am so sorry for your loss.
Posted by: JC at July 21, 2005 12:31 AM
Dear JC: Yes, Karen is beautiful, yes Ariel is beautiful, yes Offspring #2 & 3 are also devastatingly beautiful. But as for me...hmm, well, I look a lot like George Clooney or Brad Pitt--except the Jewish version. Welcome to Seraphic Secret, which I suppose is not much of a secret anymore.
Posted by: Robert Avrech at July 21, 2005 07:07 AM
Just beautiful.
Posted by: Jack at July 21, 2005 07:55 AM
Oh, no...
I suddenly have the Gilberto-Getz song "The Girl from Ipanema" running through my head, having made some offbeat association with your coined phrase The Lovely Girl from Boro Park.
"...And when she passes, each one she passes goes - ah
When she walks, she's like a samba
That swings so cool and sways so gentle
That when she passes, each one she passes goes - ooh..."
As for Karen, Sting & The Police's "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic" is more like it...
Posted by: Pearl at July 21, 2005 09:01 AM
Jack: When you say "beautiful" I assume you are referring to Karen and to her picture to which I say, amen.
Posted by: Robert at July 21, 2005 11:36 AM
Pearl: For years I hummed Sting's, "Every breath you take, every move you make..." but then I realized that I was starting to sound like, well like a stalker. As always, good to hear form you. When are you coming back to the US? We miss you!
Posted by: Robert at July 21, 2005 11:44 AM
Funny, you should say that. I'd checked out the lyrics to both songs before deciding on the one I named. I thought the lyrics to "Every Breath You Take" sounded too much like they belonged to...a stalker.
The question is not when am I coming back to L.A., but rather, when are you and Karen going to come visit us in Toronto!? (there are some knife shops/camera shops/shoe museums/fountain pen stores you might want to check out!)
Posted by: Pearl at July 21, 2005 11:50 AM
Pearl, I say all of us Seraphic Secret readers should come and stay with you...I'll bring the bagels!
Posted by: Randi at July 21, 2005 11:59 AM
Pearl:
You know you don't have to tept me with knife shops, camera stores, museums to come to Canada. You and your family are quite enough. Though a few good gun stores would be nice.
Posted by: Robert at July 21, 2005 12:17 PM
Wow...Robert that photo you took is just awesome. Karen looks like royalty. I love reading about your courtship - it's good to see that true romance isn't dead in Orthodoxy!
Rachel :)
Posted by: Rachel at July 21, 2005 08:05 PM
Rachel: Karen is royalty... and romance is alive and well, at least in this Othodox home. Thanks so much for your comment.
Posted by: Robert Avrech at July 22, 2005 12:26 AM