Karen...I think it might be a toss-up who the writer in the family is (sorry Robert). Your writing is always so honest and eloquent...thanks for letting us be privy to your side of this sweet story.

It gives me the shivers to think how easily you could have missed each other AGAIN.

Have you ever seen the movie "Next Stop Wonderland"? It's the unslick version of "Sliding Doors." Great "divine dating intervention" movie.

Yehudit:

We have not seen it. But we plan on renting it after Shabbos. Thanks for the tip.

Something that strikes me as interesting is that you both considered, (and perhaps still consider), yourselves to be out of the modern Orthodox mainstream, but you still stayed in the community and remained religious. That's how I felt too throughout high school. I had some good friends in school and at camp, but somehow I knew it wasn't for me. Maybe if I had found a compatriot like Robert did with Karen I would have stayed in the religious community... who knows? One of the things I admire about you and Karen is that you have had your devotion to religious Judaism tested on so many occasions, but you've stuck with it. It's still not for me, but I commend you and many other religious people I know who are the way the are because of convictions, not because they're afraid to leave the comfort of a familiar community. Even with your inevitable moments of doubt, in my book your 1000% more religious than the frumest chassid who never sees the other choices he could have in life.

Jake:

You bring up a most interesting point. Karen and I have talked about this a great deal, on many occasions. It's funny, but we have both--separately and together--been fortunate in our ability to separate (some) Jews from Judaism. Which is to say: no matter how negative some of our experiences have been, we have always been enamored of Torah. The ties that bind us are far stronger than the shallow wading pool of the Jewish societies we sometimes live in. I do understand why you and others have abandoned Torah Judasim. At some point, it becomes more a burden than a blessing. I hope that your choice brings you as much peace and joy as does ours. Thanks so much for writing. Please stay in touch.

Well, I wouldn't exactly say I've abandoned Torah judaism... I still value and study Tanach and strive to at least consider religious Jewish teaching on any issue that interests me. My wife was very active in the Reform movement as a kid and we still enjoy attending all kinds of shuls from time to time. But, I cannot be considered a religious Jew since I do not keep Shabbat or Kashrut outside my home. I also don't want to give the impression that the conventions of the community alone are what drove me out. The ultimate factor in my decision was something I noticed in my many travels: I never met a person who was made better or worse by religion. The good people I knew who were religious used their devotion for good. The bad people I knew used their religion to promote their lousy nature. The same is true for the non-religious people I know. Angry, rabid secularists I've known have used their lack of religion to attack, etc. Others have been able to achieve great respect for religious and non-religious people and used the fact that they are not restrained by any religious rules as a means to do more good than bad or irresponsible things.

Geez, I just remembered I have a much better analogy to use, especially on the blog of an NRA member. Like guns, I see religion as simply the vessel of the person who carries them. Good people will use their religion, (or guns), for good. Bad people will do the opposite... and we shouldn't mistake the ocassional "accident" as an indication that religion or guns are inherently good or bad by themselves. I'm not exactly an NRA supporter by any means... but I am always on my guard whenever I hear "all or nothing" arguments about how guns should all be confiscated, etc. That's just as silly as blaming Judaism or Islam itself for the bad actions of some of its followers. We're talking good and bad people here, and I don't have the first idea what makes people good or bad, but I'm pretty sure nobody else has either.

Jake...very well put...you just might be my political ally on Robert's blog!

Jake, I have been made a better person because of Torah.

Randi, I'm still working on my secret evil plan to recruit you into the NRA.