Robert:

I can tell that you are still smitten, even writing about these events so many years later. There are at least half a dozen typos in this compelling post!!

Still smitten, yup, and I still need Karen to proof read everything I write or I come off as a complete moron. But she's at the gym right now.

It really is a beautiful tale.

Thanks Jack:
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, I look at Karen and I am riven by the fear that this is not real. I wonder: am I still a child dreaming of an impossible love?

Hi Robert, I'm curious...do you both have those same feelings of alienation from the Orthodox mainstream, today?

P.S. Your story is so sweet, honest, and gentle...perhaps a movie please?!...we need a good love story!

Robert, you are lucky that your readers know the ending here. Your excellent narrative otherwise suggests that the nerd will not gain the hand of the fair lady.

Randi:

Alienation was perhaps the wrong word to use. Isolation might be a better word. It's a good question. Here, I speak only for myself. I am less isolated. It is inevitable when you are married with children and part of a community. My feelings of integration into the mainstream Orthodox community were strengthened during the long years of Ariel's ZT"L illness, for the community rallied round us and him in ways for which we will always be grateful. Orthodox Judaism is built around family and community. To be single automatically relegates the individual to an uncomfortable twilight. Hence, the enormous pressure in the shidduch world. So, do I still feel this separateness? Yes, but in much smaller ways which have more to do with temperment than any strongly held religious or philosophical beliefs. On the whole, I am comfortably part of the Orthodox Jewish community--a loving and generous culture--yet a central part of me will always be separate, no matter what society I swim in. Someday I will blog about my years as the only Orthodox student at Bard college. There too I was "in" but not "of." As always, thanks for your comment.

I pretty much miss you guys every day, but reading these entries makes me so sad that we live so far away from you...but so happy that I know you at all. Lots of love from me and Antoine.

Tom:

My story is based on the Hitchcockian model, which is to say that the narrative does not turn on the "who" of the ending, but rather on the "how" of the ending. For me, a more interesting and challenging structure. Thanks so much for your interest and comment.

Robert, I haven't read such a fun, old-fashioned love story in years. When you post an installment it lights up my day.
Sara

Robert, thanks for the very thoughtful answer to my question. I suppose that being a screenwriter, and not a doctor, lawyer, accountant, as you say most of your friends became, adds to that isolation. It is always difficult to choose to be different from the "norm" of your community... But it is also BRAVE...and that is obviously the special quality that Karen was able to spot in you, that others could only see as eccentric.

Jackie:

We miss you too. LA anxiously awaits your return.

Sara:

What a lovely sentiment! Always happy to light up my reader's lives.

Randi:

Ask a good question you deserve a good answer. I don't think I was brave. In fact I know I was not brave. I had no choice. None. I am a writer and fit for nothing else. If, G-d forbid, I was not able to make aliving as a writer, I would be a bum, whoops, excuse me, I mean a "homeless individual." As for Karen choosing me? You'll have to ask her if she spotted a "special quality" in me or was she simply dazzled by my movie star good looks. LOL! Tell me, when you met your huband, did you see just a dentist or did you know/ suspect that he was also an incredibly talented and driven craftsman? Love is a mysterious thing. No wonder every good story in the world ends up being about love in one way or the other.

My wife has a special request. She has asked me to relate to you that she really enjoys reading about you and Karen and is especially interested in hearing what Karen has to say as well.

Now Robert, if anyone knows about "credits" it's a screenwriter...give yourself credit where it is due. You CHOSE to follow what was in your heart, becoming a writer...how many people never follow what they were "meant to be"? I have no doubt that what first attracted Karen were those movie star good-looks!, but after that, I would not be surprised if it was that quality of bravery and committment...to follow your passion despite what you were "supposed" to do, that endeared her to you. And based on her entry...Karen knew that within an hour of being with you. When I met my husband?...naturally, it was the movie star looks...but I knew he was a man I could trust, laugh with, was determined and strong. (The fact that he was Jewish, and coud wield a set of craftsman tools, didn't hurt either!)

Randi:

I think what I'm trying to get across is: I never consciously set out as some kind of Jewish Rebel With a Cause. I followed my instincts and my talents because, quite frankly, I couldn't think of anything else to do with my life. On top of that was the Orthodox Jewish culture that nurtured me. At the time I was growing up, the very thought of going to Hollywood was, to say the least, absurd and unthinkable. Career choices were extremely limited in those days. Baruch Hashem, that has changed. The frum world has opened up in ways that allow creative Jewish kids to explore and follow the talents given to them by G-d. BTW, I've always maintained that Karen is a better more disciplined writer than moi. I just have a wilder imagination.

This is delicious! Makes me wish Beloved and I had a more interesting story. Also makes me wish there had been some level of nervousness on my part; it seems so exciting! But alas, my heart barely went pitter-patter. Beloved was always just comfortable for me.

Kiwi:

Keep in mind, I was not quite rational. In fact, I was quite out of my mind. I would have given anything for "comfortable."

Welcome to my mad tale.

I wasn't wishing for quite the drama you had. Maybe something in-between though. Kinda sad to have no butterflies ever in my husband's presence.

Kiwi:

Gee, maybe "How I Married Karen" can provide you with some vicarious butterflies. Though, I'm sure the real ones would be preferable.

hi robert,

i don't know how i stumbled on your website, but i think it was through a banner on debka.

i don't expect you to remember me, but i graduated BTA in 1969, a year or two after you did.

i remember you as a writer who wore a pea coat in our late '60s style, and wore round, rimless glasses.

when i saw "a stranger among us", i was excited and gratified to learn that you wrote the screenplay. i turned to my wife and told her that i went to school with you. i was so proud of and for you; it was a terrific script and movie.

personally, i left ny after i got my smicha, taking pulpits in the boonies of NC and NH for many years, raising my kids (and now, two grandkids), and staying below the radar, socially. i wrote a little, reviewed books for some newspapers, and taught history, the social sciences and religion in local NH colleges as an adjunct instructor. ten years ago, i came to the boca raton area of FL when my in-laws and outlaws needed our presence in their declining years. presently, i serve part-time in a small senior congregation and teach b'nai mitzvah from my home. of course, i officiate at all life-cycle events -- this keeps me busy in this, america's third largest cluster of jews.

i just wanted to say hello, and if my name strikes a chord, then that is fine. if not, it is still good to let you know that i am quite a fan of your work.

i have read your blog, and i offer my condolences on the passing of your beloved son Ariel, Z"TL.
It seems that only yesterday we were young and the world was ours for the taking.

if life is what happens on the way to our dreams, then i am thankful for mine -- each and every day. it is still a wondrous ride.

i gotta go now and pick my wife up at the airport. she has been busy lobbying in DC for women's causes on behalf of the Hadassah Nurses' Council of Broward County, FL. She is sure to be tired, but very exicted and chatty on the 1/2 hr ride home.

bye for now. l'hitraot.

Dear Richard:

Thanks so much for writing such a kind and generous note—and especially for your words of nechama about Ariel ZT'L.

It's wonderful that you have been able to spread Torah to such far-flung places, to communities and to children who probably would otherwise be neglected. That is important and fine work.

And of course, taking care of your inlaws in their times of need displays a real understanding of the Fifth Commandment.

I'm glad my blog and my work has found my way into your home.

My father has retired to Miami. Maybe the next time I'm there we can meet face to face.

Thanks again for writing and do stay in touch.

Popped over here from chapter 40 or so since I was wondering what festival and hope you read the comments from very old posts.

And because I met my wife (did you get to meet her, too, at the Bloggers' Conference?) in, shall we say, an unique experience.

It was Tisha B'Av 1967 and I had just returned the previous week from my year in Israel which included one war and a few disputed territories. I went to the SSSJ sit-down protest outside the Soviet Delegation to the UN offices in Manhattan and...(to make a long story short) sat down next to her. I hadn't missed a Soviet Jewry NY demo since May 1, 1964 and now that I had met her, I wasn't going to miss another one. There may be a germanating script in there.