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August 01, 2005
Seraphic Obsession Meets DePalma's Obsession
The continuing saga of Robert and Karen's looooooong relationship, that became a romance when childhood obsessions finally matured into love.
Karen and I are watching Brian De Palma's Obsession and I'm thinking to myself, I'd give anything to work with De Palma, give most anything to write a film for him. But I know that it will never happen because, well, he's a pretty twisted character and me, well, I'm just a regular guy from Brooklyn with a nice normal sensibility and my favorite writer in the whole wide world is probably Jane Austen, and my favorite films are the screwball comedies from the 30's and 40's, and I mean, that's a long way from Brian De Palma's macabre sensibility. But gee willikers, I really like his movies, really enjoy his bravura camera moves and his absolutely psychotic take on the human condition.
Oddly enough, my big break in Hollywood came from Brian De Palma when he tapped me to write the thriller, Body Double (1984).
Obsession. I know something about obsession. And she is sitting right beside me.
This is one film where Karen is not, thank goodness, hunched over, bored out of her skull, as she was in The Seven Samurai my favorite film of all time. Why, you might ask? Because it elegantly teaches the most important lesson a man must learn in this life: that to live in this world evil must be met and utterly defeated.
Obsession is smart, stylish, tricky and absolutely satisfying, and, as I said, we both like it. Big sigh of relief. No need for any long tortuous debates on the nature of film aesthetics. Sometimes I exhaust myself over absolutely nothing. Karen is teaching me—by osmosis—to separate the important from the unimportant. I realize that there is much in me that is, well, pretentious and arty. Four years in Bard College leaves a deep, intellectually flawed tattoo.
Karen and I are going out regularly, if not every night, almost every night. It's nice. No, it's heavenly. I feel as if I'm living someone else's life. I wait for disaster to strike for how is it possible for this good, kind, generous and strikingly beautiful woman to actually care for me?
Sometimes I think that I'm in a lost episode of The Twilight Zone.
I invite Karen for Shabbos dinner at my apartment. Don't get all excited. Banish all thoughts of me sweating in the kitchen, running around with a little chef's hat perched on my head. I can cook a mean omelet—that's about it. No, I buy take-out. One thing about Karen then and now, she's not picky about food. Give her some salad, some melon, and she's happy. In fact, Karen is the lowest maintenance woman in the history of, well, the universe. Basically, I'm playing house. I want to see what it's like having a Shabbos meal with Karen—just the two of us. No friends to distract.
One man. One woman. One Shabbos.
And it is great. We sing z'meros. We talk for hours. Naturally, I can't remember a thing about the food; it's never been an important component in my life. Afterwards, I walk Karen back to her apartment and I know that a threshold has been crossed. I wonder if Karen knows it too. I wonder where her mind is going in terms of, well, the future, commitment, marriage.
I wonder what will happen next.
Karen adds: I have an everyman's attitude toward movies — if it's entertaining, if it keeps my interest and it's smart — I like it. Obsession did the trick.
As far as food, Robert is the one who couldn't care less. I remember cooking that meal, and bringing it over to Robert's apartment. Definitely not take-out. I wasn't a vegetarian in those days, so we shared a meal.
The dates with other guys were dropping out gradually, and our relationship just seemed magical from the very beginning. Robert was a straight-shooter, didn't play any games, but I was so jaded, and cautious that I needed time to trust his feelings. So, on both sides, we had this, I-can't-believe-this-is-happening, pinch-me-when-I-wake-up, feeling.
I guess it's called, falling in love.
To be continued...
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at August 1, 2005 07:57 AM
Comments
Seraphic Secret is private property, that's right, it's an extension of our home, and as such, Karen and I have instituted two Seraphic Rules and we ask commentors to act respectfully.
1. No profanity.2. No Israel bashing. We debate, we discuss, we are respectful. You know what Israel bashing is. The world is full of it. Seraphic Secret is one of the few places in the world that will not tolerate this form of anti-Semitism. That's it. Break either of these rules and you will be banned.
I know, I know...I'm jumping the gun (oops, excuse that particular turn of phrase, Robert) here, but it's so nice to think that your "obsessions" landed you two nice deals: Karen AND the chance to work with DePalma.
Guess you have to write your own screwball 1940's-type comedy script and call it: "Anything Can Happen..."
Posted by: Pearl at August 1, 2005 10:37 AM
This story is unfolding so beautifully.
"It's nice. No, it's heavenly. I feel as if I'm living someone else's life."
Robert, this is so powerful.
And I have to agree with you about Jane Austen. My first introduction to her was in 10th grade when I read "Pride and Prejudice." It was life-altering!
Posted by: Stacey at August 1, 2005 11:09 AM
Pearl: No problem about jumping the gun. Anyone can google me and see that my very first Hollywood film was written for Brian DePalma. That in itself is a long and quite crazy story.
Posted by: Robert at August 1, 2005 11:17 AM
Stacey: It's funny, I still, every once in a while, have that feeling: that I'm living someone else's life. I think this is called, being a normal middle class man.
Posted by: Robert at August 1, 2005 11:19 AM
Im with Karen's attitude when it comes to movies...If I like it then its a great movie.......Way back when I was attending USC, I had to take a film class as part of my general education requirement. I was in a fog....I had no idea that films had these hidden meanings and messages. Of course I see it today, film makers are much more blatant about sending their message.... However, I did see some movies I proabaly would not have taken the time to view...like "Sunset Boulevard" and The Wild Bunch".
Actually Robert, it would be interesting to see a movie with you.....it would be quite enlightening.
Posted by: Lance at August 1, 2005 11:56 AM
Lance: I love "Sunset Boulevard." I think it's one of the best scripts ever written. Can you believe that Gloria Swanson was just 53 when she made that movie! As for "The Wild Bunch." I like that film. It gets the chaos and stink and exultation of battle just right. But even better is Peckinpah's earlier elegy to the end of the Wild West, "Ride the High Country." Watch it and you will weep as the gunfight ends and the hero dies in the dust. It's Mariette Hartley's first and last great performance. A towering work of art.
Posted by: Robert at August 1, 2005 12:05 PM
Robert: Thanks for the suggestion....I will definitely look for it....I let you know my thoughts after I view it.
Sunset Boulevard was very good....the story really drew me in.
Posted by: Lance at August 1, 2005 12:37 PM
Robert and Karen, I loved reading this installment. It takes me back to the beginnings of my relationship with Mr.Randi...food and movies! Our first date was dinner in Westwood (chocolate souffle for dessert) and the movie, Tootsie, with Dustin Hoffman. I knew immediately this was the man for me...chocolate and and laughter. Your so right, falling in love is like a twilight zone episode...It's foggy, holds your interest, and it's always a surprise(just,hopefully, without Rod Serling there to narrate).
Posted by: Randi at August 1, 2005 04:13 PM
Randi: Falling in love is a combination Twilight Zone episode and dance sequence from an Astaire Rogers musical.
Posted by: Robert at August 1, 2005 04:33 PM
One of my early dates with my other half was going to see the animated film "Aladdin"-- a couple of grown-up kids seeing a kids' film. The theme song of that film is "A Whole New World"-- such a perfect summary of what our relationship was unfurling for us at the time...and continues to do.
Footnote: Keeping "in tune" with our courtship, we got engaged in a children's playground.
Posted by: Pearl at August 1, 2005 05:11 PM
yep...the one where Fred dances up and down the walls and ceiling!
Posted by: Randi at August 1, 2005 06:02 PM
Again thank you. Is this going to be a book at some point also?
Posted by: Jean at August 2, 2005 02:02 AM
I can't begin to thank you for opening your life for what is basically my (our) personal entertainment (and, yes, enlightenment). Even if none of this ever happened to me on any related note, it's inspiring to know that it happened to someone. All that is aside from the glimpse into the earlier Brooklyn frum crowd, Modern Orthdoxy and its real life sentiments, and everything else that both of you put into it.
If you ever write the book of your life, I will definitely buy it.
Posted by: hmmm at August 2, 2005 07:45 AM
Jean: Karen and I are planning as publishing this series as an illustrated novel: think a family scrapbook with lots of prose. Thanks for asking.
Posted by: robert Avrech at August 2, 2005 08:52 AM
Hmmm: Thanks so much for your kind comments. Interesting name, hmmm.
Posted by: Robert Avrech at August 2, 2005 08:57 AM
I've been reading this "How we met and fell in love" series of yours for a bit, and I have to say, I'm really touched. How fortunate for you, Robert, that you were able to actualize the dream... Against the backdrop of my current marital difficulties, it is truly an ispiration.
Posted by: SS at August 2, 2005 09:03 AM
SS: We're terribly sorry to hear about the difficulties you and your husband are having. We sincerely hope that you manage to find the happiness you so thoroughly deserve.
Posted by: Robert Avrech at August 2, 2005 09:10 AM