Well done. I particularly enjoyed the exchange with the warden.

Jack:

Thanks so much. She is an extremely impressive and capable woman.

BTW, The actress we cast to play her role in the movie, LaTanya Richardson, Samuel L. Jackson's wife, does an amazing job.

"Mr. Hollywood."

How far from the truth -- Mr. Mild-Mannered, Middle-Class Mensch!

I love that response, "I've been in love with my wife since I was ten years old." It's what has helped carry you through, all these years. Pure, unassuming honesty...

Oh, I meant to add: thank you for showing us a whole other side to your writing. This series was fascinating, truly fascinating.

Pearl:

Your welcome. Glad you and others have liked this series.

Clearly, you have not seen "Body Double." That's another side of my writing.

Oy.

Sincerely,

Mr. Hollywood

Well, I've seen Body Double...please don't be so defensive about Body Double, Robert...the unfortunate truth about life is what you've just displayed through this prison series. It's not all rainbows and roses. There are dark and seedy sides to life. It's important to know about those sides and what the consequences of that dark behavior can be (like landing yourself in this hell hole you describe)

Oh, by the way, thanks for this great series.
Is it picture contest time?!!!

Randi:

I'm not defensive about "Body Double," I'm just a bit, oh, what's the word? mildly embarrassed by certain scenes, actually many scenes. But still proud.

Glad you enjoyed the series.

And yes, it is picture contest time. Tomorrow. Sharpen your visual skills.

I'm puttin' my reading glasses on as we speak!
Looking forward to it!

Randi:

No magnifying glass?

I'm not as old as you, buddy...at least not yet!

Randi:

No, I meant as a Sherlock Holmes ID thingee!

Now, now, *children*. Play nice.

Randi, it's not kind to make fun of your elders.

Robert, "age before beauty" should have some validity here, too.

I am also SO looking forward to the pics you've accumulated. Should be fun!!

haha...got it!...think I'll grow a beard too...looks more detective-like

Randi, Pearl:

This is the problem with the web, simple, dumb humor gets entirely misunderstood.

Hey Robert, I just wrote 2 posts about that very subject...(shameless plug, ooops!)
Pearl...stop trying to ruin my fun (but your right about the age before beauty) LOL

I think I should make it my mission to re-write "Body Double" as a more modest PG movie. In order to do this, I will have to use the "Mama" character from "The Hebrew Kid and the Apache Maiden" and give her a major role in the movie. Here are a few re-written scenes:

Scene 1: Mama comes back to her apartment and finds her young blonde roommate in bed with some guy.

Mama: Oy! I'm so embarrassed! You invite a stranger to our home and right away you're in bed with him? Nu? Where's the meal? Maybe a snack? Not even tea. Nebuch... this is what I get for rooming with a shiksa.

Scene 2: Mama is offered the super-cool house-sitting gig in Hollywood Hills

Frank: This is a pretty sweet deal no?

Mama: Sweet nothing. First I have to schlepp up this street hoping I don't get killed by a mudlslide or some other balagan just to get here every night. Then I see you've got some corva living next door. Vey iz mir, in this town either I live with the whores or I live next to them. Tell her to put some clothes on or this deal is off!

Scene 3: Mama comes to the rescue of the hot female neighbor after her purse is snatched.

Mama: Listen, darling, I don't mean to be nosy, but maybe you wouldn't get mugged so much if you weren't dressed like that all the time. You know, these goniffs may be mostly after money, but they're still interested in a little something more too. Unless they're faigelehs, but that's another story. Anyway, it's a good thing I was able to stop that vantz! Mit mazel I always carry some old kneidlach in my purse. After a few weeks, mamash they're better than bullets.

Scene 4: Mama witnesses a murder next door.

Mama: EYYY!! Oy that woman is niftir for sure. I'm calling the police. I should also call this guy's decorator. Doesn't anyone have curtains in this neighborhood? A little tzinius goes a long way. You know, I think maybe someone is trying to set me up. This I need like a lockhen cup. Oy, where are the cops already? If I wanted to wait for such a golem I could have married brother's business partner. He was nice, but not such a chochem, you know?

Robert, great series! I hope there are others in the hopper! Pull one out for us if you will. The levity on this thread is nice. That series was exhausting to read, I can only imagine the emotional toll researching and writing it. Thanks for sharing.

Jake, excellent use of Mama. But you left out something of importance--her kugel! The kneidlach just don't cut it for me, as bullets or no bullets.

Pearl:

Good point. But I think of Matzoh balls as projectiles more than kugel. You see, we writers need to be REALISTIC. Who ever heard of people throwing kugel to stop a mugger? Now throwing a matzoh ball, that makes more sense!

Jake, that's hysterical!...who will you cast as Mama (maybe Melanie Griffith could play the role, she's played a Jew before in Robert's other movie, right?...she certainly is old enough now...oops did I say that out loud?, sorry)

Depends on whose kugel you're tossing...some *are* as hard as matzoh balls. Some are so burned, that the smell alone might do in the bad guy. And some are prepared with such offbeat fillings, the mugger would want to run the other way: "Ohh, blech, I won't go near a chicken-liver-broccoli kugel with a ten-foot pole!"

Pearl:

Do you realize our back and forth about kugel v. matzoh is already sounding very much like a Talmudic discourse?

"IF, you say that the purpose is to throw and not so much to subdue, THEN you have to say that matzoh ball makes more sense. BUT R. Pearl of Toronto was known to say: "He that tries to throw matzoh balls just to halt a thief is not aware of the 'stun value' of burnt and overstuffed kugel. As it says in the Braitah: "Vihkugel Yaatzor Hagazlan bih-halicha," (with kugel you will stop the mugger as he runs)."

This is why I could never keep a straight face in Talmud classes.

"Chazak, chazak v'nitchazek."

Okay, Jake, we can close the book on this one and move on to other things.

You're funny...did anyone ever tell you you're funny...oh, I guess I just did. Keep up the good work.

oh, come on Pearl...you can't leave without translating "Chazak, chazak v'nitchazek."

"Chazak, chazak, v’nitchazek."

Translation: Strengthen us, strengthen us, and we shall become strong.

When a shul is reading the last parsha(chapter) of one of the 5 books of the Torah, we end the reading by the congregants saying "Chazak Chazak
V'nitchazek", followed by the ba'al koreh [Torah reader] saying the same.

And then we have kugel.

Just wait till Robert gets back here and sees how we've hijacked his blog. I mean, we have our own blogs...and yet we use his soapbox for our stage
or even shtender. (wooden stand used to hold books that you're quoting from or learning from).

Okay, I'm ready for kugel, and kichel, and knaidels...

Such a shame that's the end... I wonder what happened to all these women.

Irina:

I wish I could tell you. My suspicion, based on their sentences, is that they are still "home."

Glad you enjoyed the series.

I will write more.

Suz:

The series was exhausting to write, but no more than it was to live through.

Thanks so much for staying with it.

I will do others, though I do need a bit of a rest right now.

Jake,
I loved the matzah-ball/kugel bit. When i was in middle school, i had this rabbi who told us to exchange words from the talmud with ones we use in real life. He figured this would be great because it would help us learn (kinda like the pink elephant). Anyway, pamela anderson was in the news allot that year and she played the rabbis pretty well. Suspensions all around!!!!

I didn't get suspended, (the teachers at Yeshiva of Flatbush gave me much more credit than I deserved), but my closest call came when we were learning the Gemarah about how people who play with dice are not allowed to testify at trials. Just as we were finishing that thought, I led a few of my co-conspirators in a rendition of Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler." The Rabbi was laughing too hard to report us to the principal, (who definitely would NOT have laughed).

But what about Cindy? Do you know what became of her? Did she stay....home?

Stacey:

Sorry, I don't know what happened to Cindy. I hope she got out.

I loved this series. Your balance between being "Mr. Hollywood" and a frum Jew is very inspiring. Thanks.

Dear Avid Reader:

Thanks so much for the lovely compliment. This delicate balancng act is actually one that plays out every single day in my professional life.

I feel a bit guilty writing this, but I took some pleasure in seeing the Warden take you to school with her demeanor during your interview and her replies to your questions. Too bad she doesn't maintain a blog...now there's something I'd enjoy reading.

Your urge to salute this good woman was spot on. No moping or wishy-washiness there!

Thanks for the "This Island Home" series, Robert. It was excellent reading.

Shlomo:

Believe me, your pleasure in the the manner in which the Warden "took me to school" was not at all exceeded by mine. I admired her enormously and found her responses to be honest and true. She did the best she could in -- Dante's Inferno.

Thanks so much for your kind words.

Powerful and as always, well written. I too wonder if that CO moved on from there...

Rabbi Neil:

We can only hope. Good to hear from you. It's been far too long.

"Strengthen us, strengthen us, and we shall become strong."

No, it's: "Be strong, be strong, and let us be strengthened."