Perhaps Mama meant well, but man...is that some CHUTZPAH she's sporting -- cornering you at your very own simcha!

By the way, I have three children who can do some really good shrieking...in case you're ever in need of some voiceover actors. You know what? I also have a dog who's looking for a walk-on role.
As for me...I'll just continue to ask celebrities I meet for their autographs.

Pearl:

This happens to me all the time:

1. In shul
2. In Trader Joes.
3. At other weddings.
4. At Bar/Bas Mitzvahs.
5. Shiva houses--G-d's honest truth. But Not Ariel's.

Regarding shrieking children and adorable canine: send tapes and head shots.

Be glad you're not a proctologist

Robert,
Come visit us in Toronto. Nobody should bother you here...'cause nobody knows you! ;)

Randi:

Amazing you should say this. Every single morning I wake up, turn to Karen and say: "Karen, I am so glad I am not a proctologist."

And Karen replies: "How come you say that every single morning?"

My BIL's father works for Dreamworks. He was approached for help several times at my sister's wedding by various friends and family members of the groom's side.

In fact one of the young cousins there was told by someone that I am a good contact. Consequently he approached me and asked for my assistance, which is always an adventure because you never know if I'll choose to assist you.

In this case when he asked me to how to get into Hollywood I gave him directions from the Equestrian Club in Burbank to Farmer's Market and suggested that he start reciting Shakespeare at the Grove.

I am told that he took me seriously. Little did I know that only a few years later I would be acquainted with "Don Corleone Avrech."

If I ever run into him again I'll be happy to refer him to you. ;)

Have a good Shabbos.

Funny. My husband is a doctor. Any time we go out to eat, someone invariabley has to discuss their virus, with all the trimmings - and in shul someone always has a pimple on his um, kisser, that he needs checked out...
I should have told him to work in Hollywood!

Jack:

Let's be frank, you never asked for my friendship. You never wanted it. Not until now :)

The Jewish Godfather! I can't believe I never thought of that as a spoof before. This is going to take up my whole weekend. But here's a "teaser scene."

INT. Robert's study.

The local Cantor, Yaacov Fontaine, dressed in a white kittel is sitting opposite Robert.

YAACOV: I just don't understand. I know I'm the best ba'al musaf in town, but they're giving the job at the Young Israel to some chazzan shaynee from Tarzana. I didn't even know there were any Jews there! Godfather, I need this job. I need it!

Yaacov starts to cry. Robert slaps him hard across the face.

ROBERT: What's the matter with you! You come in here on my daughter's wedding day to cry like
a woman?!? What's this going to do to your singing voice under the chuppah? Listen, who is the gabbai at this shul who's giving you trouble?

YAACOV: Wolzberg. Jack Wolzberg.

ROBERT: Okay, tomorrow we'll go see him and work this out. Listen, how are your wife and family?

YAACOV: Good. Good Godfather, they're good.

ROBERT: You love them? You spend time with them?

YAACOV: Sure I do.

ROBERT: Good, because a chazzan who doesn't spend time with his family can't really be "yotzeh" for the whole congregation.

YAACOV: This Wolzberg. What are you going to do with him?

ROBERT: Listen, don't worry... I'm gonna make him a kiddush he can't refuse!

YAACOV: Thank you so much. Um, Godfather... why is your voice so funny?

ROBERT: Oy! I think I have some kichel from the Tish stuck in my throat. I'm gonna have to pay a little visit to that baker after the wedding.

Yael:

To quote Randi: "Just be glad your husband is not a proctologist."

Jake:
JIASF
(for those who don't know, that is "computer-speak" for: Jake Is Always So Funny!!! I'm ROTFLMAO!!!

Robert, sorry my mom cornered you like that...I've told her to save her aggressive agenty techniques for directors...

[Note to readers: I'm joking. Although I too have awesome talent--a word that always instills respect, I find--and I am actressy, I was never in Fiddler. Annie, in Hebrew, in Camp Ramah, yes. But Fiddler, no. So, in summary, the Esther in the story is not me. Although I can't guarantee it's not someone trying to be me. But that's its own screenplay.]

Esther:

What role do you want in the Jewish Godfather spoof? I know you do a mean karaoke and Mama Corleone does get to sing a bit in the real movie. I think the Connie character is a little too sad for you.

I always wanted to see Ariel Sharon as Marlon Brando as the Godfather:

(that early scene, Sharon-Godfather's office, before the wedding, tuxedoes, red rose in the lapel, cat on the lap, BUT it's the 1930s not the 1940s ...)

GERMAN-JEWISH UNDERTAKER: Godfather, these men, these brown shirts, they-- they did terrible, terrible things ... to my daughter ... I went to the League of Nations--

SHARON-GODFATHER: Why did you go to the "League of Nations"? Why didn't you come to us first?...

-----

Esther: Best wishes (The only trick I can think of is to grow a thick skin over a thicker heart.)

Blessed Shabbos again (gonna try making my first cholent).

Jake: well, if you're casting...I'd like to bid for the Johnny Fontaine part. (oh, wait, this is the Jewish version....Yossel Fountainebleau) I always wanted to sing like Sinatra.

Being that I was away from my computer for the past few days I totally missed the last few posts of yours. So I would like to take this opportunity to wish you lots of mazel and naches, and to be able to share the funny side notes and anecdotes along the way, with your readers. ;o)

Esther:

And I tried soooo hard to conceal your identity. My clever ploy of using your real name was a sure fire way of deflecting away from the real Esther.

When/if I ever meet you, you have my solemn and sincere promise that I will never ask any "Hollywood" favors. But I might ask you to take me shooting!

How wonderful about Pearl's father! Great news!

Jeremiah:

I once had a truly lunatic meeting with the old Golan/Globus group about an Ariel Sharon film. The meeting itself would have made a better film than what these guys had in mind.

INT. GOLAN/GLOBUS OFFICES - DAY

Avrech sits with Golan and listens to the BIG IDEA for the Ariel Sharon project.

Golan: I want to see him as lover and fighter with emphasis on lover. Robert, I see him making love to his woman on the tank. The tank gun, it is a powerful phullic symbolisms.

Avrech: Phallic.

Golan: Whatever. Anyway, you see it? And then as he make love, he has the idea how to defeat the entire Arab army. Is brilliant, no?

Avrech: Sharon?

Golan: No, my idea.

Avrech groans.

Golan smiles hugely, assuming that Avrech is so impressed that he has been rendered speechless.

Ten minutes later I was on the phone begging my agent to somehow get me out of that loony project. Turned out not to be a problem. Golan and Globus refused to pay my normal fee. They wanted me to defer almost my entire salary for the "honor of working on such an important project."

Naturally, said important project was never made; in fact, script was never even developed.

First cholent? Mazal Tov!

It is an ancient Mariner,

And he stoppeth one of three.

`By thy long beard and glittering eye,

Now wherefore stopp'st thou me ?



The Bridegroom's doors are opened wide,

And I am next of kin ;

The guests are met, the feast is set :

May'st hear the merry din.'



He holds him with his skinny hand,

`There was a ship,' quoth he.

`Hold off ! unhand me, grey-beard loon !'

Eftsoons his hand dropt he.

And it is really quite annoying when what you see when you hit "preview" is different to what you see when you hit "post". (And of course HTML needs and tags, too).

Robert,

Guilty as charged. As my teshuva I'll hook you up with some Air Time on Air America, or should I say a radio you can use to listen to Air America. ;)

Chussid:

Thanks so very much. Have a lovely and meaningful Shabbos.

Stacey:

Tell me the day you're arriving in LA and I'll make a reservation for us and Randi at the LA Gun Club. You fortunate woman, you get Bullets and Babke! Oh what a wonderful life!

Michael:

You leave me breathless. Thank you.

Gosh, imagine if you had got up at the wedding and read this poem.

No, better not.

Three hundred totally silent Jews is pretty scary.

I must reveal my complete ignorance by revealing that I have no idea what "Eftsoons" means--which kind of kills the last verse for me.

So, enlighten me, please?

(No matter what, it sounds great.)

Jack:

Oh great, air time on a station nobody listens to, not even the liberals who are supposed to listen to it 'cause it's so darn boring and unfunny.

Have you met my associate, Leib Abramazi:)

ya'll are speaking greek to me! I havent understood a word in this thread .....well a little poetic license there but you know what I mean

I have to say, if someone else had told me that story, I wouldn't have believed it! It sounded like something out of a movie! ; )

Now, I have another idea: Why isn't anyone making "My Big Fat Jewish Wedding"?!

In the Jewish Godfather, it would be comedians, not singers.

The automatic joke on sending a fish is too easy. But what are you going to do instead of a horse's head?

I am gratified, BTW, to learn that my son's career path as he graduates is not the absolute lowest in the film business. Also, Toronto is becoming an independent film center. So I'm told. I wouldn't know, myself.

Robert: That "big idea" pitched to you about Sharon, his "lady", and a tank is ... pornography. Sorry you were exposed to even its description. Revisiting it anecdotally is for Phillip Roth and his many imitators.

Yum-yum report: Cholent's all gone. Maybe this is why as a kid only Campbell's Chunky Soup could please me - it was an urge for cholent, repressed by goyische kopf.

um Robert....i'll bet that back in the day people thought you were unrealistic for thinking you could make it as a screenwriter in hollywood, n'est pas?

The pictures are wonderful. Thank you for sharing.

Your family is beautiful. Mazal Tov, I wish the newlyweds a long, happy lifetime together. I'm looking forward to seeing brit (brita/naming?)pictures next year.....

Oh, and I LOVE the flowers Leda is carrying- what a great change from the ubiquitous white spill.

Shavuah Tov.

Thank you, Robert, for posting about my father's homecoming. Indeed a blessing. A far cry from his condition upon being rushed to the hospital on March 1st, and the prognosis we were given.

Thank you, everyone, on behalf of our family, for your prayers, for your good wishes and for your warm thoughts.

For my father to be able to *walk* out of a hospital is a blessing. For my father, for whom Shabbat has great significance, to be able to go home on an Erev Shabbat, is a double blessing.

Thank you, all, for your blessings. May we all just share simchas, like the recent Avrech family wedding, from now on!

Pearl S.

I have a small [micro, actually] embroidery business and I've done some work for one of the local shuls. Last Rosh HaShana when I stopped in to wish friends a shana tova, it was during a break and one of the machers took me into the sanctuary to show me the parochet for the aron kodesh. The lettering was done wrong and he wanted to know if I could fix it.

This was funny because there are rabbinic opinions that say that I can't even closely examine embroidery on Shabbat or Yom Tov.

BTW, I had my own experience with a woman's mother at a wedding. It was a big wedding with many out of town guests so even before the tish there was some food out for the guests. There was a middle aged woman sitting, with her young adult daughter on her lap. I was chatting with the mother when she asked me, "Isn't my daughter pretty?". The girl got embarrassed and walked away. Mom apparently thought I was younger than I am because she asked, "Well you're not married are you?". So I told her, "Not any more".

Pearl,
This is such wonderful news! Awesome news! I am SO happy to hear about your dad - may he continue on the road to recovery!!!
all the best,
Rachel :)

Suz:

Sorry, this thread has been a little "in." Golan/Globus were an Israeli film production company who took Hollywood by storm in the late 70's early 80's. They churned out about a zillion low budget movies. Then they just disappeared. Totally. So that's the meeting I'm referring to.

"Teshuva" means repentence.

Let's see, what else?

Well, the main thing is that my experience at my daughter's wedding sort of mirrors the opening scene of "The Godfather." You have seen the movie, haven't you?

If not, drop eveything, except an infant, go out rent 1 & 2 and watch them. Do not under any circumstances watch "Godfather III." Okay?

We really have to do something about all the Hebrew and Yiddish. It's really not fair. I'm going to blog about this and maybe even set up a separate glossary.

Irina:

Why isn't Hollywood making My Big Fat Jewish Wedding?

It's really very simple.

Hollywood only recognizes two forms of Jews to make films about:

1. Dead Jews, i.e. Holocaust movies. Victims, perfectly acceptable, in fact Hollywood a-dores dead Jews.

2. Jews as Zionist Tyrants, i.e. "Munich," also perfectly acceptable. In fact, this form is preferable in Hollywood for film executives, many of them Jewish and secular, like nothing better than to announce their solidarity with murderous Jihadists. They think/hope/pray(?) it will spare them when Jewish heads start to roll.

My movie, "A Stranger Among Us" would never get made today. Never. Ever. Its love of Jews and Judaism is simply too, well, in your face. In today's climate, the only religion that is considered beautiful and politically acceptable to Hollywood is... Islam.

I kid you not.

Really, we're dealing with the most delusional generation of useful idiots since, well, since never. Even Stalin would be awed by Hollywood's instant capitulation to the Jihadists.

Dear AVI:

Instead of the horses head?

Easy.

A nice big juicy piece of gefilte fish.

I have shot three films in Toronto. It's a first rate city to work in.

Jeremiah:

I'm not as delicate as you might imagine, afterall, I am the man who wrote Brian DePalma's ode to porn and murder "Body Double" and to write said film involved, ahem, research. So talk of Sharon on tank was, well, laughable.

Mazal Tov, congratulations, on your cholent. It's a big day.

Mata Hari:

Back in the day, people did not know that screenwriting was even a career path, let alone unrealistic.

I discourage most fine young women and urge them to write or produce or most anything else that will allow them to express their artistic/creative selves. Not because acting is so unrealistic, but because the life style is soul destroying for a particular kind of person.

There are other young women who I do not discourage at all. They are perfectly suited to the acting life.

For instance Esther; I did not attempt to dissuade her after a few minutes of conversation. Nope, she belongs right where she is.

Betsy:

Karen worked very hard at getting just the right mixture of Orchids and Terra Cotta Roses to get those shades of red.

Now, would you believe that the bouquet weighs about 10 lbs! I am not exagerrating. That's why in so many pictures Elie is carrying the bouquet; it's like a weapon. The first time Offspring #2 handed it to me I almsot dropped it. I expected a feather and got a hunk of lead.

Karen and Offspring #2 laughed at me and one of them said: "Men, they don't know anything."

Betsy, I have to tell you, the longer I live the more ignorant I feel.

Pearl:

You are very welcome. It was with great joy that this Shabbos, this Sabbath, in shul, in synagogue, I removed your father's name from the list of sick people we pray for. As I did, everyone turned to me expectantly. "He's home and well, " I said. And they all sighed with relief and smiled hugely.

Johan:

Welcome to Seraphic Secret. We have a University too, did you know that? When you have some free time, could you, you know, do slip covers for all our lecture hall seats? We don't pay a lot--actually we don't pay anything, but there's a woman here named Randi who will deliver coffee and babke to your workshop every single morning.

Now, what more does an artist need?

Listen, play your cards right, and you might get to be Professor of Threads.

Babkes=Jewish Canolies.
I will cease delivery of all coffee and babkes until I know I have secured a role in Jake's Jewish Godfather movie.

"...Toronto. It's a first rate city to work in."

That's only because some of us who live here are first-rate!;)

It's actually been sad over the years to watch Toronto, aka Hollywood North, lose some of its touch. Production companies have opted to film movies and series in Vancouver. When the SARS crisis hit Toronto in 2003 in two separate bouts, Toronto's loss in the film industry was Vancouver's gain. Slowly, slowly, my fair city has been picking up the slack and shooting some first-rate productions here. I hope I continue to see parts of our city transformed into movie sets.
Check out this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_movies_filmed_in_Toronto

"Body Double": one of the strangest movies I've ever seen.

Everyone: Do what RJA says when it comes to the Godfather. I and II are great American immigrant stories greatly told. Watch them again and again. III was a display of second-generation, upper-middle-class guilt: it belongs on a therapist's couch (at best), not the big screen.

Pearl: one evening papa Coppola took a table in a San Francisco restaurant right next to mine. He likes green beans and small red potatoes. (I don't remember what else he ate, I tried not to stare.)

RJA's comment to Irina (8:12 PM) is a gem:
"Hollywood only recognizes two forms of Jews to make films about...." I'm cutting and pasting that one.

Godfather 3...a shanda.
To quote Michael Corleone: "Just when I thought that I was out they pull me back in".
Yep, that's exactly how I felt seeing that movie.
Got pulled back in, to a lousy movie.

Are you reading this, Francis? We don't care if you finish your veggies, there still may be no babke for you!

Jeremiah: I'd be careful, you may wake up to a horse's head

The Esther who is "belongs right where she is," I assume that's not me...

And for Jake per his offer of a role in his HashemAba movie [think about it], would be happy to take any role (especially a singing one) except the role of Clemenza. I would probably leave the cannoli and the gun in the car. But if there were rugelach...

Esther:

Not you, G-d forbid.

You know with all this talk about singing we're thinking of putting on a Seraphic Show in the barn.

Hey kids...

"Godfather" meets "Fiddler On The Roof" -- it could work. Just think of the wedding scenes.

Oops, I lost my 'g.'

Robert, I'm actually just teasing ya'll about the yiddish stuff. Its charming and educational as mostly meaning is revealed in context. Of course I've seen the Godfather, even the weak sequels. You wrote Body Double??!! Not a movie I would have then, or now, seen. Ugh! the research! Any others we should know about? Which reminds me, I ordered Within These Walls. I liked it and so have several of my friends. Knowing your thoughts as you researched it has added meaning to almost every scene.

Pearl! I am so pleased about your father.

Maybe before we make the Jewish "Godfather," we should make the Jewish "Munich." It'd be nice to see a real Jewish perspective.

"Hashemaba?" Esther, oy! Now, I'm going to have a nice drink of ginger kale.

This just in...

French Riots
Thousands of French university students are rioting over the proposed loss of job protections for young workers. The crowds became even more violent when they saw all the cars they wanted to trash had already been torched by the Muslim rioters last fall.

French Riots II
Thousands of French university students are rioting over the proposed loss of job protections for young workers. They'd be even angrier if they wanted jobs in the first place.

One last post before I get in trouble for hogging... I'll be joking some more about all of this French stuff on my regular Sunday night radio show appearance. It's on at 9pm and you can hear it over the Internet here: http://www.11l-rni.com/ (it really helps if you have an MP3 or iTunes on your computer. I usually come on right at 9).

re. the Seraphic Show in the barn...

(ooh, I just picture Mickey Rooney doing his thing with Judy Garland just about now)

I'd love to and am ready to hit the high notes in the production. When I signed up at Seraphic University, I didn't realize they had a glee club/drama club. When do try-outs begin? I've cleared my calendar for the next six months for rehearsals...just in case I'm picked for the cast. (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

I have no idea what "Eftsoons" means

It's archaic--it means "Soon afterward; presently". By the way, that post is a takeoff on "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" by Coleridge. (Who should be well known to any movie buff; think Xanadu in "Citizen Kane.")

Urijah:

Thanks so much. Great word. I'll have to work it into a script someday:)

Suz:

Yup, I wrote "Body Double." But as a mea culpa I wrote and produced "A Stranger Among Us." Have you seen that film?

I love "Within These Walls." Very proud of every aspect of that film. Glad you like it too.

Robert, nope I dont know it but I've looked it up and its with Melanie Griffith. I'll get it, it looks good. I'm always looking for "clean" movies, relatively speaking. They are more and more difficult to find. I never realized the writer's name isnt on movies, at least not prominently. This movie is described as "Sidney Lumet's"...........pffffffffffffffttttttttt we know better.

"The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" by Coleridge

How many other poems have been turned into heavy-metal songs. Iron Maiden introduced me to that particular poem wayyyyy back in 1983 0r '84.

Suz:

In "Stranger" Melanie is totally dressed the entire time. I promised her I'd make up for "Body Double" where she, well, isn't wearing too many clothing during the 90 minutes.

Gee, even Sidney would be the first to admit that "Stranger" is a Robert J. Avrech film. It's my love song to Jews and Judiasm.

Enjoy!

Jack:

I have to confess complete ignorance when it comes to Heavy Metal. I don't think I've ever heard one full song––at least consciously.

I thought Heavy Metal was guys with big hair, mascara, long tongues and songs about sex, drugs and rock and roll. I never realized they were so literary. I am deeply impressed.

Well, it was simply me posting the first few stanzas of "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" verbatim, actually. The poem starts with the said ancient mariner grabbing the attention of and insisting on talking to the "next of kin" of the groom at a wedding and refusing to go away until his story (about albatrosses and stuff) is told. It seemed appropriate somehow.

(It's a terrific poem to read out loud, because it simply sounds so magnificent).

Oh my, Robert, I had no idea you are such a luminary. I searched on your name after your post about writing Body Double and now I'm properly impressed (not kidding at all). You are quite well-known and I'm obviously the only one here who knows you are much more than Karen's beloved and Ariel and the Offspring(s)# dad, although the little I do know about you those roles are priority to you. And, I'm impressed most with the way you stand up for what you believe. Is it because of your 25 years in Hollywood that you are able to castigate Spielburg for "Munich", and still work? Or have times changed just enough to allow some freedom of thought? (I doubt the last one). You have so many interesting things going on in your life and I have so many questions. This is, and has been, fun. And its great to see one man stand tall in his conservative (and locally unpopular) stance. Just a few of my thoughts.

***obviously, I meant I'm the only person here who DOESN'T know who you are****

Robert, when I first visited this blog I was unaware of your connection to "A Stranger Among Us". Now that I know who you are I'd like to thank you for making such a wonderful film. My wife and I love the movie and I've been looking for it on DVD for years (hopefully with commentary when I find it).
I agree that considering the current trend from Hollywood lately it probably wouldn't get made today, which is sad really. We need more movies like "Stranger".
Keep up the good work, and I'll stop typing before I totally turn all 'fanboy' about this movie.

May yaw fuhst grandchild, be a masculine child.

Hollywood. It kills you with its brutal truths.

Better than living a lie as a mediocre actress with the occasional bone toss or hope given. Once Esther is informed she should stop pursuing an acting career, she can do something she may find more rewarding with her life -- after she gets tired of ranting, of course.

Funny how Hollywood, which leans so much to the "compassion" of the left, is so "brutal" to its own. (I, of course, approve entirely...)

Suz:

There are fates worse than not working for Little Steven. Like working for him. And churning out a film that makes you an enemy of Israel and the Jewish people.

Thanks so much for calling me a "luminary." Gosh, who knew?

Dear PsychoToddler:

Even if he's a she?

Solomon:

Hollywood's "compassion" is as wide and deep as a child's wading pool.

But Hollywood's brutality is as well practised as Stalin's executioners.

Robert,

It all depends on the band. At one time Iron Maiden was my favorite band. Many of their songs relate to literature and history.

Here are a few samples:

Where Eagles Dare

"It's snowing outside the rumbling sound
of engines roar in the night,
The mission is near the confident men
are waiting to drop from the sky.

The Blizzard goes on but still they must fly
No one should go where eagles dare.

Bavarian alps that lay all around
they seem to stare from below,
The enemy lines a long time passed
are lying deep in the snow.

Into the night they fall through the sky
No one should fly where eagles dare.

They're closing in the fortress is near
it's standing high in the sky,
The cable car's the only way in
it's really impossible to climb."

"Flight Of Icarus," of course "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" and then there are songs about "Dune" and other odds and ends.

But, if you saw their pictures and album covers you wouldn't think of them as having any content like this.

FWIW, I don't listen to them all that much. In my "old age" I tend to prefer music that is a little quieter.

Seraphic University Course Guide

English Department

V1515 Heavy Metal Poetry (3 credits) MW 2-3:15AM
Professor Jack

Exploring the lyric artistry of the hard rock artists of the late 1970s and 1980s and showing its connections to the classical poetry of England, Scotland, and Teutonic lands. Readings will include liner notes from actual record albums purchased off of eBay and from garage sales in the Glendale area. Students will learn how to make their otherwise well-educated parents and peers feel small for not understanding several words found in many Iron Maiden and Metallica songs. Students are required to wear black t-shirts, thick eye-liner, and baggy black jeans to every session. Ear plugs are recommended.

Pre-Requisites: Head Banger's Ball 101, parent's approval

Jack:

Very impressive lyrics. I think.

I have seen album covers and honestly, one word comes to mind: regurgitation.

But I understand that teenage boys under the influence of much beer feel great kinship with these groups.

Jake:

Can I take the course, and just, you know, skip the part where we listen to the music?

Oh no! If we start making exceptions for one student, we start having to make them for everyone. Soon you'll be asking for all the Wicca holidays off too.

First of all, Dr. Psychotoddler has a glossary of sorts of Jewish terms. So you could always link to that.

Now, about approaching people for advice... many moons ago I had designs on becoming an actor (my agent turned out to specialize in spanish-speaking midgets, of which I am neither, but that's another story). One day I found myself at an event with an Actor Of Whom You've Heard. To my horror, an acquaintance of mine who was also there turned to Mr. Actor and asked him to give me advice on how to make it in Hollywood. He said, "F*** your way to the top," and took off. Can't say I blame him.

Then I fancied myself a writer. I approached a distinguished Writer Of Whom You Have Heard (some would even call him a luminary) and asked for advice. He kindly told me to have the discipline to write every day, and even gave me his card.

Finally, about Melanie. The year she was in Strangers she also starred in Shining Through, where she played a spy (for the good guys) in Nazi Germany. Her character might even have been Jewish, but there's a Jewish connection in that movie nonetheless. Finally, she also hosted "Saturday Night Live" that year (or it could have been a repeat, but that's when I saw it). In one sketch, she was a bikini-clad beauty contestant who quoted, I kid you not, the Talmudic sage Hillel during her interview. This trifecta inspired me to write an article in my college's Jewish paper about Melanie Griffith and the Jewish question. As luck would have it, she was on campus giving some sort of presentation the day the article came out. I was able to hand her a copy of the paper, but I have no idea if she ever read it.

I have some wedding stories as well but I've hijacked this thread for too long.

Jake:

Well, that tears it. I'm going to lead a student protest.

Oh wait, I'm President of Seraphic University.

Scratch that.

Maybe I'll just give a counter course in my favorite group: "The Feelies." No ear plugs needed.

Robert, I don't remember voting you in as President.

Randi:

There was no vote. I appointed myself. As Mel Brooks says: It's fun being king!

What, did you think this was a democracy?

Frankie Goes to Hollywood's "Welcome to the Pleasure Dome" is a loose rendition of Coleridge's "Kubla Khan", too. Coleridge attracts rock musicians for some reason. (Actually I think the reason is fairly obvious. It's that great sense of rhythm in his poetry that was alluded to earlier. Also maybe the fact that Coleridge was seriously on drugs, and the the rock musicians probably understand that).

Michael:

You might be interested in knowing that we used Frankie Goes to Hollywood in "Body Double." The very first use of an MTV style rock group in a mainstream Hollywood movie. We well understood Coleridge's drug use, and check out the context.

This is a family blog so I shall say no more.

I look at it now... and cringe.

"Hollywood, Mr. Avrech. My daughter, she came out here close to ten years ago to be an actress and you know what she is?"
"A waitress."
"You know my Esther?!"
"It was a lucky guess."

Thank you for making me laugh out loud. I don't laugh so easily at jokes, but I found this hilarious. As always your "writing is rewriting" approach pays off. The phrasing of this is impeccable (IMHO).

Rabbi Neil:

You're very welcome.

Aspiring maybe would do well to watch John Sayles's "Passion Fish". It's an emotional safety net for daring young actresses on the flying trapeze - who've taken a fall or two.

(Darn!) "Aspiring actresses..." (it's late)