Yep, you bored me to tears Robert.
(GORGEOUS!)

Randi:
Thank you, the girls are pretty good looking too.

I heard (from Karen) and saw another family member listed in onlysimchas.com, aka "the other Bible"! Mazel Tov.

Pictures don't bore us, Robert. Posing for them does! ;)

Pearl:

Yup, My niece Jennifer got engaged to Joshua on the plane back to NY from OS #2's wedding. Josh asked Jennifer over the plane's PA system. Lots of applause, etc. I could not have written a better scene. Who says Talmudic scholars are not romantic? The Flight Attendents were sobbing at 33,000 feet. Very reassuring for the rest of the passengers I imagine.

Great pictures! I love photographs, especially wedding ones, so there's no chance you'll bore me!: D That's a wonderful engagement story!!! I bet it took everyone by surprise!

Robert, how did you know I was referring to you?

Irina:

Glad you like the pictures.

Josh and Jennifer were planning an engagement for a while, but out of respect to OS #2 and my (gulp) son-in-law, they have been holding off for there is a wise Talmudic dictum which states: "Never mix two joyous occasions." But yes, Josh did take everyone by surprise. The family expected him to do it once safely back in NY, not at 33,000 feet. He's a great guy.

Karen's brother is now frantically involved in being, well, what I was for several months--totally nuts.

But he has me as an advisor. Lucky him.

Randi:

Who else would you be referring to?

Something wrong with your throat Robert?...I notice you keep GULPING. Had your morning coffee? Maybe that would help.

Randi:

Need... babke...

My gosh...what a cure-all babke has become. It likes to make cameo appearances at the oddest times and in the oddest places: at shooting ranges, at (Seraphic) universities, at post-wedding celebrations, on office desks alongside historical and political tomes...

Randi, just give Robert a "babke to go"...and GO!!!

Great pics, Robert. Beautiful wife and beautiful daughters. Distinguished Dad :)

Boredom, no. Tears, yes.

SIMCHAS AT 33,000 FEET: A Love Story by Jake Novak

INT. The 747 cabin of Delta Airline flight 613, LA to New York

PILOT (on the P.A... with the typical thick airline pilot southwestern accent): Okay folks, we're hitting our cruisin' altitude of 33,000 feet, so why don't y'all just sit back and relax? But first, we have a visitor here in the cockpit who would like to make this special announcement to the little maidel in seat 26F. Okay, it's all yours Josh... behatzlacha to you buckaroo!

JOSH (nervously): Okay, thanks. First I want to say there's going to be a mincha service in the back of the plane near the galley in 5 minutes for anyone who's interested. Don't worry, these airlines are too bankrupt to serve us any food anymore, so that area will be clear, I promise. Allright... is this still on? Okay, good. Jennifer, can you hear me? You know, I'll just assume you can, because if you can't and you try rushing up the cockpit to tell me, one of the air marshals is likely to take you out, G-D forbid. Here goes. Jennifer, you are the love of my life. You're the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night, (but don't tell that to my Rebbe, he says I should be thinking about kriyat sh'ma before I doze off... but what does he think, I'm made out of wood?). I want to marry you, and I hope you'll say yes... oh, and the Messiah should come speedily and in our day, AMEN!

JENNIFER is listening to all of this with a huge smile and tears running down her face.

JENNIFER: Yes! Yes! I'll marry you!

Entire plane full of passengers breaks out into applause. A happy moment that is suddenly turned to massive grief when they see the in-flight movie is the remake of the "Pink Panther" with Steve Martin

PILOT: Well now wasn't that romantic-like? I'm shepping a lot of naches up here, and I don't even rightly know what that means! Now, I'm gonna switch off the cabin lights and, what the!...

SADIE, a middle-aged woman, grabs the P.A. mic from the pilot.

SADIE: I'm sorry Mr. pilot, you look like a nice gentleman and all, but this was the perfect opportunity. Okay, listen up. Melvin? Melvin can you hear me, my son? Melvin! You, the big 38-year-old bachelor in 45C, listen! Did you just hear what that nice Josh boy just did? Wasn't that nice? Melvin, you've been dating that girl, (some girl... she looks older than me sometimes), Rachel for 11 years already. What, do you think I have so many years left to see grandchildren? As it is, they're probably going to have to come out of a test tube, nebich... but that's fine with me. Melvin, listen up! You better make like this Josh and propose to that woman when we get back to Brooklyn, or b-lee neder, I'm never speaking to you again! (Except, maybe when you go out of the house without a scarf in the middle of winter again, Mr. Big Shot). Okay, that's all I had to say. Thank you Mr. Pilo. You can continue flying the plane now. Oy, if you were Jewish... I have a niece in Staten Island who'd be perfect for you. Any chance you're mother's Jewish? I keep hearing about these Jewish families who went to some resort in Arizona for Passover 40 years ago and forgot to go home.

PILOT: Uh, sorry ma'am. (back on the P.A.) And I'm sorry folks for that interruption. May I ask the air marshal to help us keep the interruptions to a minimum here in the cockpit? Mr. Marshal? Hell, where are you Jed?

Quick cut to air marshal Jed. He's in the 26th row, cheerfully looking at a Brides Magazine with Jennifer. They're giggling.

FADE OUT

Robert,

I have three younger sisters. Two of them are married now. I can't tell you how much "fun" it was to see my father during the "wedding planning
stage."

I think that I am going to teach my daughter that the best wedding is the one where she elopes. ;)

Suziannr:

I'm distinguished? Oh my gosh, you just made my day! And oh yes, the girls are beautiful, yeah, sure.

Jeremiah:

More tears, gosh, from the man who used to sneer at those who wept at weddings? Well, we are making progress with our resident post modern intellectual aren't we?

Mazal Tov!

Jake:

You were there, weren't you?!

I was sitting next to Melvin. When he found out I had a litte Torah education he asked me if he could sit Shiva for his mother even if she wasn't technically dead. It was an interesting question. I'll have to get back to him.

I didn't sneer! :-) Or did I?... Marriage was baffling more than anything else. There was just no one to spell out its virtues.

ftr, that's "ex-postmodern intellectual" ("The horror! The horror!" :-))

Robert and Karen, mazel tov! Od yeshama be aray yehuda obekevutzot yerushalayim kol sasson ve kol simcha kol chatan ve kol kala . . . .

Sorry I did not say so earlier, but I hadn't read SS for a week.

Jack:

Fun? Fun? Oh, Jack, and I thought you were my friend.

Seriously, I'd rather spend every penny I have (wait, I did!) than see my girlses elope. There is nothing like the simcha, the joy, of a Jewish wedding.

My face still hurts from smiling so much.

Jake:

Very interesting question. I'll have to look it up in the Talmud. Have you asked your father?

My dad is too busy trying to find that real quote in the Talmud about Jewish in-fighting I mentioned last month. Oy, he's really working, he thinks it may be in the Yeruslami.

Jeremiah:

The virtues of marriage? Oh gosh, you've come to the right man. If not for Karen and my marriage to Karen I'd be lonely and miserable. Gee, just read "How I Married Karen" and imagine my life without the ending. Uh, the horror, the horror.

Yehudit:

Thanks so much, and gosh, I didn't know you had such a lovely singing voice!

Jake:

In Talmud Yerushalmi?! Forget it! We'll never hear from him ever again. No one can ever find anything in that one. No one knows it well enough. Tell him we believe him, he's off the hook, it's okay. Really.

Poor, poor Pearl...doesn't understand that all the secrets of the universe are found within Babke (particulary chocolate ones).
Perhaps Jake can provide us with the top 10 reasons babkes should not GO AWAY.

Randi:

You can send Babke to an Israeli soldier. Nice gesture. There are sites that offer it as a service.

Poor, poor Pearl indeed...NOT! Guess we'll have to have a showdown at the crack of dawn. You bring the babke, I'll bring the Smith & Wesson.... Or maybe simply a limerick!

(Okay, actually Robert has a nice suggestion. Send a Kosher for Passover babke to a soldier in Israel...)

I'll tell him. No joke, he's preparing to appear before a U.N. committee on the 27th. He's going to meet your hero John Bolton. Funny thing is, I'm meeting him too earlier that week. Bolton going to get more "Novak" than even he can handle... and he thought the General Assembly was a bunch of weirdos.

Jake:

No kidding, about what?

I'm meeting him at an event for the American-Swiss foundation, (I'm a member, don't ask), and my Dad is speaking before a committee on "world youth"... I have to ask him about the topic.

American-Swiss Foundation. Okay, You support cukoo clocks? Cool.

Robert, trust us, this is not boring at all.

Mazel tov to you and your whole family.

Tamara:

You know what, I trust you. Thanks so much.

JS:

Now I'm sitting here going through all the new people I met at the wedding and trying to figure out who JS is.

Hmmmm.

Not. A. Clue.

Oh well.

But another vote for dignified. I'm so on cloud nine. Because really, I was like just on the edge of panic.

But thanks so much for your kind wishes.

YIKES!! Randi with day-old babke and Pearl with a gun!!! This blog is getting more interesting by the day.

No fun about the Swiss please. I'm a Swiss miss, thanks to my mom.

Robert, you make fun...and I won't bring you a Caran D'Ache fountain pen next time I visit! Or a Swiss Army knife. Or some Swiss chocolate, either!

Suziannr:

It's not the blog that's so interesting but The Ladies Who Comment on the Blog. A unique blend of fire and baking power.

I was drafted into the American-Swiss foundation in 2002. I admit I was totally brainwashed by a free super two-week trip to the country where they put me and about 20 other Americans in the best hotels. I'm like those guys in the original "Manchurian Candidate," I cannot physically say or think anything bad about the Swiss ever again. But Robert, you should LOVE the Swiss. Good capitalists all... AND everyone can shoot a gun... darn well too.

Pearl:

Sheesh, if I can't make jokes about the Swiss, what's left, especially when I'm talking to Jake.

BTW, I love Swiss Army Knives--not as much as Randall knives,but I have owned at least a dozen trusty Campers.

Jake:

Yes, the Swiss are such good capitalists that during WWII they continued to sell their fine steel to the Germans in spite of their declared neutrality. This allowed the Germans to continue their war effort for another 2 years. And continue killing Jews for said 2 more years. There's a point where good capitalism turns into disgusting greed and at that the Swiss are kings.

Can't... say... anything... bad... about... the Swiss... must... fight... the temptation... need... chocolate...

Picture me glassy-eyed as I say: The Swiss are the kindest, gentlest, most decent people I have ever known.

Oy, I'm such a kill-joy. Hate myself. Read too much. Remember too much. Need to sleep more. Play with my official Swiss Army Knife more.

Hey, I know: JIAF!

Let's see how critical you can still be after 14 days and nights in 6-star hotels, 500 pounds of the best chocolate, and weekend stays at chalets with 600-year-old wine cellars. All the Americans had to give auto-biographical speeches at one time or another and I actually made some old Swiss general cry for some reason or another. This is what it must be like to be a really, really good lobbyist.

"The Swiss are the kindest, gentlest, most decent people I have ever known."

Jake, how kind of you to say that about me. And only after knowing me for a few short months!

Are you somewhat feverish...your eyes are a bit glassy-looking. Get off the computer and get some rest...after you have some Toblerone.

We actually visited the Lindt chocolate factory off that river in Zurich. I'm not a choco-holic, but GEEZ that was a great day! Then they took me to the exact same balcony in Basel where Theodor Herzyl had that famous picture taken. They had my number from the get-go.

Oy! I meant Herzl... I gave him a "Y"

Jake:

Knowing me, here's what I'd do:

1. Take out Swiss citizenship.
2. Volunteer for the Swiss Army.
3. Buy lots of cuckoo clocks.
4. Wear lederhosen.
5. Forgive the Nazi loving swine.

Jake, when you visit Toronto, come over to my parents' house and I'll show you pictures of my religous grandfather in his Swiss conscription military garb. From the time I was young, whenever I saw that uniform and helmet, I thought he was a NAZI! My children also have a chance of being conscripted into the Swiss army in the future, as they're Swiss too.

Listen, that Swiss general is ready to draft me now! I think I said something about how everyone in America knew the Swiss were on our side during the Cold War and we're confident they'll help us in the war on terror now. The guy just started blubbering! I bet he was the one guy in the staff meetings in the 50's and 60's who kept saying: "Hey, screw this neutrality b.s., those Ruskies don't even have a stock market!"

Yeah, but can they make a babke?

Jake:

If anyone can talk the Swiss out of their, ahem, "neutrality" it's you. And I'm sure that our Jihadist friends will respect that neutrality all the way. Oh yeah. Kaboom! There goes Big Suha's private bank account--to the moon!

"It's not the blog that's so interesting but The Ladies Who Comment on the Blog. A unique blend of fire and baking power."
I appreciate you referring to me as a lady.
(of course, perhaps you weren't referring to me...maybe Jake, who knows)

I don't know about the Jihadists, but Geneva is where all the Arab dictators send their families to live. When King Hussein was alive, Queen Noor lived in Geneva 360 out of 365 days a year.

There were an impressive number of Saudi private 747's... yes private 747's... in the Geneva airport when I was there. Geneva is the oil barons' shopping mall.

Jake:

Of course Queen Noor lived in Geneva all the time, she kind of needed a break from beautiful downdown Amman which is filled with, surprise, her loving peaceful Palestinian/Jordanian subjects who tried to assasinate her husband, let's see, only about 800 times.

Lots of dubious Arabs in London, too. (Even more dubious Russians). Homicidal dictators are generally discouraged, but nobody looks terribly closely at where your money came from. It's all thanks to the interesting legal status of "Resident but not domiciled" that exists in Britain, which allows you to live here on foreign derived income and not pay taxes.

Michael:

Hence the terribly sad new name for the great city: "Londonstan."

Lovely photos.
If cast as a movie:
The Chosson (looks like a nice boy): Young Al Pacino.
The Kallah (A beauty): Young Angelica Houston
Mother and Father of the Bride: (Younger versions of course) Annette Benning and who else? Clint Eastwood
Robert, did you show your son-in-law your knife collection before or after he proposed?
Shep Nachas!

Yael:

Great casting. Thanks.

Get this: First time Elie came to LA I took him to the shooting range. He loved it. Great shot. I clamped a hand over his shoulder and said in my best Clint voice: "Well son, I guess you can protect my little girl from all them Injuns out there."

He kind of looked at me funny. But decided not to point out that there are no more marauding Injuns out there.

Which was a wise move on his part.

Oh yes, knives. Showed him my collection; he loved them so much I gave him a knife as a gift and he treasures it. Son-in-law is a great guy. He's a solid Republican. Offspring #2 chose well.

Thank G-d Elie is a Republican and not a Whig or a Federalist. There's nothing worse than having a Whig son-in-law jabbering about the Zachary Taylor conspiracy all the time. Sure, they're great parties, but there's just no future for them. Of course, you don't see too many Know-Nothings, Free Soilers, or Dixiecrats around anymore either, but they sure throw good conventions! Whatever happened to the Natural Law party. I heard they got as far as holding a national convention, but when it came to drafting their by-laws, none of the members thought it was necessary to actually write them down. Chaos.

Jake:

Exactly my thoughts when I met my future son-in-law. I said: "Do you support Zachary Taylor?
"Huh?"
"What about the Know Nothings?"
"Wha?"
"Good boy. Come to Papa."

Mazal tov, Robert. Beautiful beautiful beautiful!
(and Only Simchas is the best! I love the upshirin pix!)

Janjan:

Thnaks so much. I love the Henna pages in particular. Sephardic culture is alive and well and for that we should all be very grateful.

Stunning photos! All of the Avrech women look gorgeous and Robert looks cute sporting his camera. Elie has warm, kind eyes.

I feel like I was there.

Stacey:

My son-in-law is a truly good and kind person. I am an unbelievably over-protective father and I have worried deeply, neurotically, obsessively if any man on planet earth is good/kind/decent/honest/brave/ethical/religous/conservative enough for Offspring #2.

No more.

Beautiful wedding, beautiful bride.... you are blessed.

Agsmem:

Thanks so much.