Wow, "Vincent," what a story! Thank you for sharing it with us...and thank you, Robert & Karen, for encouraging him to do so.

I guess this was a Seraphic University assignment for the International Relations course, huh?

Pearl:

And you get an A in the course.

Yes, "Vincent" in an amazing man, we are lucky to have him as a friend.

Vincent:

Your story confirms my suspicions that those who conciously side with terrorists are mentally ill. Any mother who would rather not have a relationship with her child than to change or modify her political beliefs is... well, not all there.

I pray you stay strong, because your personal struggle must be harder than people like me who only need to stand up against strangers.

"Vincent": Just keep writing. Clarity, peace of mind, gentle nods and pats on the cheek ... and a thousand other delicacies that only people who cherish LIFE appreciate - they're your birthright. Keep sitting on the beach, so to speak, the tide will come in for you.

Vincent,

I would like to echo the sentiments above and thank you for your courage to share your story. I have no doubt that it was very hard.....

Stay strong.....and know that many of us out here in the blogosphere support you.

When a man writes this: "I suddenly realised that my mother supported the men who were trying to kill me."

and another man writes this: "We thank him for having the courage to write these words. We know that it was extremely difficult."

it's offensive that some will try to commandeer it to make their own talking points.

Out of modest appreciation for "Vincent"'s contribution, I decided to not go "political" in my earlier comment. But, here goes.

Listen to the audio clip at this link: http://www.zombietime.com/galloway_sf/
(it's also transcribed on the page)

Pro-Saddam, anti-Western British MP George Galloway speaks in San Francisco ... in a vicious, bloodcurdling, and bloodthirsty brogue you can't imagine till you hear it.

That's what reading about Vincent's mum made me think of.

Vincent,

It’s amazing to see how you have risen above the hatred an animosity.

Robert,

You say

“It is the story of how blinkered and romantic leftist support of terrorism”

I would like to disagree; it is a story of how hatred and prejudice of any kind can destroy families…

The more important point is that one should learn from their parents mistakes. We must love them, despite their mistakes, and strive that we should be better parents.

Robert should not be enabling this person to not be the better parent.

I applaud Vincent for his generosity in sharing his story, and I wish him and his wife many years of happiness.

As the very happy mother of boys, it breaks my heart that a woman would tell her son she wished he was a girl. To cloak it in 'feminist' sentiment is horrid. I hope she will someday recognize what a fine young man he is.

"Vincent", I'm really sorry you had to go through all that. I'm glad that you were able to overcome all the brainwashing and found happiness with that girl. Good luck!

Chussid:

No, this sad story is not about general hatred and prejudice.

Vincent is very specific. His mother is a supporter of the IRA, a notorious left wing terrorist organization, who by the way, trained in the Bekka valley with PLO Terrorists. No friends of the Jews.

Further, Vincent's mother wanted to know if Vincent's girlfriend was a good "Left-footer," meaning was she a left-winger.

If this story was about right wing hate, I would have introduced it as such.

Your attempt to generalize the specific is positively Orwellian.

Rita:

Some parents are positively toxic, and children need to separate from them or risk destruction. If this does not come across loud and clear to you in Vincent's story, well...

A Postively Toxic Pop: Josef Stalin

One of his sons tried to kill himself by putting a gun to his chest. He survived. Josef's first words to him were, "Ha! You missed!"

Hi, everyone. Thanks for your kind words, but don't worry about me: I feel fine. Really.

A couple of points to clarify....

Robert, "left-footer" means "Catholic". I have no idea why. I am constantly amazed by the amount of what I think is obscure British slang that turns out to be well understood by Americans, but this is obviously not one of those cases.

That being said, this attitude of my mother's that political belief trumps everything -- family, friendship, loyalty -- is something I have only ever come across on the Left. And the group identity politics that drives that sort of thinking is quintessentially leftist. Can you imagine any right-wing parallel to my mother's attitude towards my girlfriend? I can't. A right-wing political parent might object to my going out with a Communist or an environmentalist or something -- someone with the wrong beliefs -- but not to my going out with, for instance, a Russian, on the grounds that all Russians are Communists, or a French girl, because of Chirac's stance on the Iraq War. Whereas the belief that all Northern Irish Protestants ("Protestant" being a very loose term here, referring not to your religion but to a combination of your ancestry and the area you live in) are violent bigots who enjoy oppressing and exploiting Catholics and deserve no sympathy when they are murdered by fanatics is broadly accepted on the British Left.

Fans of British political history will remember the SDP, the party that split from the Labour Party. My mother never spoke again to one of her best friends, just because of that. By leaving the Labour Party and joining the SDP, she became persona non grata to my mother. For a Tory never again to speak to one of their best friends simply because they joined UKIP would be regarded as extremely odd, but that sort of Life-of-Brian-type hatred is quite normal on the Left.

Jeremiah, funny you should mention Galloway. My mother was a candidate for the Labour Party four times. Thankfully, she never won an election. It was people like her that Neil Kinnock tried to purge from the party to make it electable again. Guess Galloway got missed.

Rita, you're insane. How on Earth has Robert had any effect whatsoever on my parenting skills?

Vincent,

That is a hell of a story. I am sorry that you were put in such an uncomfortable position.

Vincent:

Thanks so much for setting me straight on the correct meaning of "Left footer."

My bad.

Vincent:

Well, now I get it. Your mom has been a political candidate. Candidates for office of all stripes have a special low place in my esteem, not the least of which because almost all of them whom I've known are terrible, terrible parents. This goes for Left, Right, and everywhere in between.

I think you're right that in Europe your mother's kind of "all-or-nothing" orthodoxy is usually a Leftist characteristic. In America, I've actually never heard of anyone being ostracized for marrying the "wrong kind of person" politically. Here, it's always been about religion and sometimes, though less frequently now, race. Perhaps this is because America is still a pretty religious country and politics has replaced religion for a lot of Britons. You can be the better judge of that.

Wow, Vincent! Thanks so much for your story. My grandparents came to the US from Ireland but they never condoned the IRA. The culture can be very unforgiving and absolute and I'm not sure where that comes from. I've been on the receiving end of "social excommunication" for some perceived wrongdoing and it would tear my heart out to do that to one of my kids.

Vincent: All I can say is this...I have lived through more than my share of family estrangement. Sometimes it is the only choice left. You cannot accept insanity and hatred into your life, just because that person happens to have the same blood. Life is too short, and there are too many people who will love and support you...people who will fill your heart, not twist and turn it inside out. I applaud your choice.

I read this earlier today and I was shaken to the core. Words failed me then, they fail me now. As a mother, it sickens me to know that there are people out there whose political leanings (even religion) are more important than their children. I am so sorry you got so unlucky in the mother dept.

> You cannot accept insanity and hatred into your life, just because that person happens to have the same blood.

Absolutely. So few people seem to understand that, though. I think most people put their family first no matter what, but don't realise that the reason they feel that way is that they know their siblings and parents would do the same for them. Putting your family first just because they're your family, even if they never reciprocate, is just a road to misery.

> Here, it's always been about religion and sometimes, though less frequently now, race.

Oh, that happens here, too, of course. But it's not a political thing: racism and religious bigotry are popular within all stripes of politics.

I agree with you, Vincent. Thank you for offering your further comments.

Yes, well any parent who makes their children suffer for ideological reasons is a bad parent. And for that matter, any ideology that demands that its believers put it ahead of the welfare of their children is a morally bankrupt ideology.

I happen to live in the East End of London, and Galloway technically represents me in parliament. If I am still living at the same place come the next election, I fear I will actually vote for the Labour party - anything to unseat that traitorous scumbag.

Michael:

One of the best examples here in America is the Red Diaper babies, children brought up as doctrinaire Communists by doctrinaire Communists.

And of course, let us not forget at the other end of the lunatic spectrum, children who are reared in the vile ideology of the KKK.

Michael, any plans to visit us in Los Angeles?

Vincent, I was intrigued with the "left footer" slang, so I looked up the etiology, and you can correct it if wrong:

>>Left-footer. A Catholic. In Northern Ireland, the inquiry as to which foot you dig with is really an attempt to find out whether you are Catholic or Protestant. The belief is that Catholics dig with the left foot, Protestants with the right. According to Terry Eagleton, two different kinds of spade were traditionally used in Ireland, one in (mainly Catholic) Munster and Connacht, and the other in (partly Protestant) Ulster. One spade was notched on the right side for digging, the other notched on the left. But actually the Catholic spade was notched on the right, the Protestant one on the right. Folklore prevailed: the Catholic "Other" had to be consigned to the left; calling them "right" would have involved dangerous ironies.>>

Vincent: Yes, so few people will understand and support your decision. So few people realize it's a painful choice, but a necessary one. So few people realize and understand, until they too, become the object of that person's hatred and sickness. Treating eachother with humanity and respect comes above all. Being related, does not give a person the right to forego that.

Vincent's story also bespeaks to me of the sickness of the Palestinian mothers who proudly praise their shaheeds, those who murder others. It is the same sickness. I cannot fathom the kind of hatred and sickness and evil it would take to say "I hope his brothers will follow in his path", as some of the Palestinian mothers-of-murderers have said after the attacks.

You did the right thing, Vincent (as if you need us to tell you) to get away from that kind of hatred. It nevertheless is unutterably sad, and again something I cannot fathom, how a mother could be so filled with hate.

She chose to lose you. Robert lost his son and had no choice in the matter, and not a day goes by, and I hope it's ok to to write this, Robert, that he doesn't wish he could bring his son back...how sick is it then that parents such as yours could push you away..or the Pali women can 'hope' their children die.

It's all unfathomable to me. Sometimes, I think that is the problem of the West, that we can't ever truly understand that kind of depravity, and so we try to rationalize it out.

Thanks for sharing.

Maurice:

Karen and I would do anything to have Ariel ZT'L back. To see parents push children to self destruction, is evil beyond imagination. Such a culture, I'm sorry to say, plums the depths of evil and barbarity.

Pushing a child away is a tough issue for Jews. But I should explain a important distinction I can honestly say that had I married a non-Jewish woman, my family would have cut off all contact with me. BUT NOT because of hatred of non-Jews or disrespect for other religions... it would have been because I would have been making a conscious choice to abandon my religion that is so important to my religious parents. As it turned out I met and married a fantastic Jewish woman, and we have a Jewish home even though it is MUCH less observant than they my parents' and sister's home. Now, I would never cut off my daughter for marrying a non-Jew and I find it hard to accept those who would... but I get where they're coming from IF they have truly been devout Jews in their lives and actually have something built up that they want to protect.

Well, the World Science Fiction Convention is in LA at the end of August, and I am sure that would be fun. I am vaguely toying with coming to LA for that and the opportunity to catch up with my LA friends. But it's only "vaguely toying" with the idea at the moment. It depends on work issues and a couple of other things.

Michael:

Let us know. We'd love to meet you. Take you out to dinner at Pico Kosher Deli. Great restaurant. Just ask Jackie.