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June 06, 2006
The Fortress of The Press
My Seraphic Secret article, Presbyterian Terror has just been published in the Friday, June 2, 2006 of The Jewish Press. I'd like to thank to Senior Editor Jason Maoz for his fine editorial work on my meandering piece. Mr. Maoz has supported Seraphic Secret from the very beginning.
Jihadists or Global Warming: What Do You Worry About the Man Who is Building a Nuclear Bomb in his Basement or the Notion that Sea Levels Might Rise by Approximately Three Inches in About Hundred Years and if That Happens You Know What Might Happen? I Have No Idea And Neither Does Anybody Else So Forgive Me if I Choose to Worry About the Nasty Dirty Bomb Because Obviously I'm Just a Shallow Republican and for Confirmation Just Ask Ted Kennedy For There's A Man Who's Intimately Familiar With Things Shallow; Remember Mary Jo Kopechne.
It should be noted that under Mr. Maoz's strong editorial hand, The Jewish Press has emerged as the most articulate Jewish newspaper in America. A newspaper that consistently gives voice to clear anti-Jihadist discourse. Week after week The Jewish Press publishes quality articles that are not diluted by the muddled thinking of the politically correct elite who play directly into the hands of the genocidal IslamoNazis.
The Jewish Press, as far as I know, does not spill ink about global warming, except insofar as to put the whole dumb issue into proper perspective, which is: We should be worrying about the immediate threat of those who wish to murder us: The Iranians who are up-front about their desire to wipe Israel off the face of the earth, and Jihadists here, there and everywhere, who are furiously working to assemble a dirty bomb to explode in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, London, Paris, Madrid, Anywhere. That sea levels might gradually rise within the next hundred years or fifty years, seems, um, quite beside the point. And the Jewish Press, unlike so many other kvetchy liberal Jewish weeklies, will simply not make believe that Al Gore has anything worth hearing or repeating.
When it comes to local and national politics, The Jewish Press again breaks ranks with the knee-jerk liberals who are still voting for John F Kennedy.
INTERPOLATION #1:
Read JFK's inaugural address.
Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.
Gosh, but these are not the words of a modern day Democrat. Nope, the fallen--on my Bar Mitzvah Shabbos no less, that was fun, lemme tell you--JFK sounds, gulp, like a Republican, like President Bush talking about the necesasary changes we must bring to the medieval Arab world. Watch out House of Al Saud, we're coming. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but your downfall is inevitable. You were riding camels and then suddenly careening around in Cadillacs. Get ready for the camels again.
END INTERPOLATION#1:
INTERPOLATION #2:
Anywhooo: The Jewish Press pretty consistently goes Republican. Except when it endorses a local Democratic Assemblyman like Dov Hikind, who lives, breathes and votes Republican, but in his district, well, a Republican will get elected when the Moshiach comes.
And yes, full disclosure, Dov, a very good man, I'm proud to say is Karen's cousin by marriage. Dov's wife Shani, is Karen's first cousin. Shani should have been an actress. Watch her on the campaign trail; she delivers a fine and fiery speech.
END INTERPOLATION #2:
Troublesome Red Lines: Which Would Force the Jews of The Jewish Nation to Once and For All Proclaim Their Jewishness and the Jewish Claim on the Jewish Land of Israel Using The Big Jewish Book, The Torah, as the Ultimate Source, and Jewish History as the Justification; How Very Embarrasing Say Many Jews. How Very Jewish Says This Jewish Blogger
Back to The Jewish Press.
Uncompromising in its support of Israel and her existential battle against rejectionist Arab states, recognizing the danger of the American Left, not only to Israel, but to American Democracy, The Jewish Press under Maoz's cool editorial voice, stands out among the major Jewish weeklies as a prophetic voice.
Before Jews were brutally expelled from Gaza, The Jewish Press warned, in numerous editorials and articles, that this rash action would not diminish terrorist activities, that in fact, the Arabs would view this withdrawal as a sign of weakness.
INTERPOLATION #3:
Here in Los Angeles, The Jewish Journal, like almost every other liberal Jewish weekly in America, vigorously supported the withdrawal, this policy of Jewish ethinic cleansing--and surprise, surprise, continues to call for the same in Judea and Samaria--and seems to support the division of Jerusalem.
Think about this: Israel has never drawn any Red Lines for the Arabs.
Thus the Arabs keep demanding more concessions, for nothing is holy to Israel. If nothing is holy, everything is negotiable. If everything is negotiable, Zionism becomes a mere afterthought--and national existence becomes something of a dry footnote.
The Jewish Press understands this and continually calls for Israel to draw those oh-so-troublesome Red Lines.
END INTERPOLATION #3:
And sure enough, terrorist incidents have increased, and Gaza has become one huge terrorist factory since the expulsion of the Jews from Gaza. To add to the madness, Hamas was elected as the Arab's government and a major part of their campaign platform, along with the catchy: "We'll Drive the Jews Into the Sea--Just See" was -- gee-willikers, what a shock -- that Hamas "forced the Jews out of Gaza."
Thus, lovely downtown Gazastan.
But enough of Hamas and and their, oh let's see, their whacky fundamentalist penchant for murdering their sisters and wives and aunts and cousins in that honored tradition called--and don't you just love the Orwellian use of language here: Honor Killings. As if there's anything honorable about slitting some poor woman's throat on the merest suspicion that she might have held hands with a man from another tribe.
I don't know about you, but I have this vaguely humanistic notion that, I will confess, goes totally against all the multi-cultural clap-trap that we are force-fed every single day, and the notion is this: that any society that values primitive notions of honor over human life is kind of, you know, primitive and oppressive and should be radically remade. Like we remade German society after WWII. Like we remade the equally poisonous Japanese society after WWII.
But enough of these tiresome terrorists who are so well covered in The Jewish Press. Let's move on to the really fun stuff. To the column in The Jewish Press that just drives us wild--actually the reason I'm writing this article in the first place. I just got, er, sidetracked with all of the above. Lack of discipline is such a curse.
Karen's Absolutely Favorite Column: Better Than People Magazine, Better Than Psychology Today, Don't Even Mention Variety or Hollywood Reporter, I Even Like it Better than Guns & Ammo, So What is This Column in The Jewish Press that Evokes Such Worshipful Enthusiasm and Loyalty?
Besides the fine political and Torah writing in The Jewish Press, I must tell you about Karen's very favorite section: Machberes. This literally means, Notebook. What a fine and modest name for this column. Is it weekly? Biweekly? I have absolutely no idea. But when Machberes appears, oh the joy in Casa Avrech.
Karen prepares a huge bowl of steaming tea, settles and sinks into her very favorite spot in the living room couch, and just loses herself in this excellent and awe inspiring Jewish version of Proust's In Search of Lost Time. For Machebres is a bridge between the Hasidic present and past. And as with all things Jewish, past and present inevitably merge to the point where the present tense is exclusively used when speaking of a Hasidic Rebbe living in Williamsburg today and his ancestors who lived in Poland a hundred years ago.
Karen will read a section out loud to me and exclaim: "I didn't know that, did you?"
Well, needless to say, if Karen doesn't have a clue, I do not have a clue as to the clue.
Machberes is a column, no it's a Talmud-like commentary that covers the world of the various Hasidic Courts in America, Canada and Israel. Here we learn the sometimes tortuous family trees of the magnificent Hasidic Rebbes and their progeny. Karen and I read the family tree of the Satmar Rebbe ZT'L and I kid you not, I felt like the anthropologist Claude Levi-Strauss, trying to puzzle out the kinship terminiology of a long lost tribe -- it was that complicated. Through Machberes, we glimpse a world and a way of life that we thought was no more, a world of holy dynasties and sometimes not-so-holy rivalries. Machberes is our final victory over Hitler, over all our enemies.
If you do not already read The Jewish Press, you are missing the core voice of the observant Jewish people at this time in history. It's a demographic that is growing by leaps and bounds. Observant Jewish families have, on the average 5 to 6 children per family. Hasidic families have 8-10 children per family.
Interesting to note, my Christian friends tell me that to check the pulse of the Jewish consciousness that's not online, the paper they regularly check out is The Jewish Press.
"It's the genuine thing," states a religious Catholic friend.
My Christian buddies consider the other Jewish weeklies just knock-offs of the Mainstream Media; one Christian friend nailed these weeklies by referring to them as "The New York Times Light."
Ouch.
Don't miss Jason Maoz's weekly column: Media Monitor. Here in cool and polite tones, he often murders the Mainstream Media for their multiple crimes against Israel and the truth. Other times he reviews a not-so-well-known-book and turns our attention to some heroic task that the Jewish community has shamefully neglected. In all cases, Maoz's facts are correct, his analysis dead-on.
Let it be noted that Maoz is Hebrew for fortress.
P.S. Lest you think The Jewish Press is without blemish, I'm here to tell you that there is one thing very wrong with The Jewish Press. They do not carry Seraphic friend Jake's new comic strip, an absolutely perfect dissection of Jews/Hollywood/ Kabbalah/politics/what-have-you. This new cartoon/parody Shmooze or Lose runs in The Jewish Journal of Los Angeles. Editor Rob Eshman has hit a homerun with Jake's absolutely hysterical strip. For as we all know here at Seraphic Secret JIAF.*
*Jake Is Always Funny
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at June 6, 2006 02:37 PM
Comments
Seraphic Secret is private property, that's right, it's an extension of our home, and as such, Karen and I have instituted two Seraphic Rules and we ask commentors to act respectfully.
1. No profanity.2. No Israel bashing. We debate, we discuss, we are respectful. You know what Israel bashing is. The world is full of it. Seraphic Secret is one of the few places in the world that will not tolerate this form of anti-Semitism. That's it. Break either of these rules and you will be banned.
Thanks for the plug! "Schmooze or Lose" is one of the most enjoyable things I've ever done. And speaking of interfaith cooperation, my top-notch illustrator and co-creator is an Italian Catholic named Michael Ciccotello. The world will be hearing his name a lot more in the coming years; he's that good.
Hey, I'm the worst guy to serve as a media critic, not just because I'm part of it, but because I read and watch everything. It's kind of my job. I always find something positive about just about every publication and news program, (with a few exceptions). But the biggest plus is I actually have a job where I HAVE to read the newspaper at my desk all the time. Most people would get fired for that.
But the Jewish Press IS the best window into the observant Jewish world anyone's going to get. And since that community is growing and getting more and more politically active, you have to read it, at least online. But again, I read everything.
Posted by: Jake at June 6, 2006 07:10 AM
Yup, Jake should be right in there...but alas, he's not. At least you local L.A.ers get to have him.
I like the Jewish Press because of its choice of articles that cover an array of topics -- from politics to Jewish laws, from psychology to marriage, from children to seniors. I think there is something for everyone to read about and to learn from its pages.
Twenty years ago, I submitted two or three humorous personal essays to its Singles Section. To my happiness, each of the essays was published, and thus I was able to welcome a new readership, hopefully making people grin along the way!
Posted by: Pearl at June 6, 2006 07:22 AM
Jake:
You are welcome. You deserve the plug. "Shmooze or Lose" is is a welcome addition to the art of the Jewish Graphic novel. Keep your eye on the circulation figues for the Jewish jornal of LA. Even if nothing happens, claim that the demographics are "in your favor" and demand a major raise in salary or you're gong to jump chariots to the Jewish Press. Believe me, this threat alone will reduce Eshman, already a quivering mass of guilty liberal jelly, to a puddle od compliant nothingness.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at June 6, 2006 08:09 PM
Pearl:
Thanks so much for mentioning all the other wonderful life-style articles and self-help columns that the JP specializes in--from an Orthodox point of view. Are you a nervous young bride about to go to the mikvah for the first time, well the JP has just the right advice to steady your nerves. Having religious conflicts at work? No problemo. The JP has social/financial wizards who guide you into explaining to your boss that Shmini Atzeret really is a holiday and you must, must, must take the day off.
Anyway, Pearl, we're waiting for you to submit some new material to the JP. It's been far too long. Just tell him you graduated with honors from Seraphic University.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at June 6, 2006 08:18 PM
It's fitting that JP reprinted you, Robert. You're an ordinary man with certain accumulated wisdom, but also with something more. Although I know so little about Karen, the image of the teapot and the couch is very affectionate.
And it's about time Madonna - who's been offending Catholics and art historians for a generation - took some ribbing by a Jewish comic.
Posted by: Jeremiah at June 6, 2006 11:02 PM
Jeremiah:
True, true, true: an ordinary man married to an extraordinary woman; a woman who is most at home with a cup of ot tea, a newspaper, and a quiet Shabbos evening.
As for Madonna; a deeply unextraordinary woman who deserves, once and for all, to be laughed at.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at June 6, 2006 11:40 PM
Jake - I didn't realize you were behind that strip. Nice work.
Posted by: ralphie at June 7, 2006 12:01 PM
"Just Ask Ted Kennedy For There's A Man Who's Intimately Familiar With Things Shallow; Remember Mary Jo Kopechne."
I literally laughed out loud at that bit...not that the woman's death is funny...but you know what I mean!
And just for the record, the multitude of busy little terrorists out there frightens me much more than global warming.
Posted by: RR at June 8, 2006 06:59 AM
RR:
I fear that there are several generations of Americans who have never heard of Mary Jo Kopechne and they should. Ted Kennedy is a blowhard, true, but he was also guilty of --well, quite a bit, and he just skated.
Glad to hear you have your head screwed on in the correct position.
Posted by: Robert Avrech at June 8, 2006 09:06 AM