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September 11, 2006
Ariel: "I Am not a Tragedy"
Karen writes: Since Ariel is not able to speak through the internet, and I feel I know my son pretty well, I feel obligated to modify the somewhat dismal portrait presented in his father's previous post. Ariel vehemently rejected the role of the tragic soul. He bore his illness as just something that happened, he didn't want special treatment, and he surely abhored pity.
I remember the morning of September 11, 2001, as a crisp (for Los Angeles) autumn day, falling in the Jewish Holiday calendar when Ariel was home, not because of illness, but because of vacation. He had been free of cancer for over three years, and his illness was, especially for him, a distant memory. It was no longer a factor in his life. Even when he was sick, he denied that it was a factor in his life!
Ariel, as you would expect for most teenagers, did not want to be singled out as different. His means of coping, was "healthy denial" and so he didn't dwell on his prognosis. He never asked the horrible questions that reverberated constantly in his parents' minds. What would be the point? He worked on living, on being productive, even when he could barely breathe.
And so, he was not a tragic figure. He represented all that was hopeful in life. His will to live and conquer obstacles surely was instrumental in overcoming medical crises. We tend to forget the aggressive, serious initial onslaught of the cancer, and the numerous battles he fought and won. So, I like to think of Ariel as a hero, a fighter, whose courage and resilience overshadows tragedy. That's what he would want.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at September 11, 2006 10:15 PM
Comments
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1. No profanity.2. No Israel bashing. We debate, we discuss, we are respectful. You know what Israel bashing is. The world is full of it. Seraphic Secret is one of the few places in the world that will not tolerate this form of anti-Semitism. That's it. Break either of these rules and you will be banned.
"We tend to forget the aggressive, serious initial onslaught of the cancer, and the numerous battles he fought and won."
Karen: From the time I first learned and read about Ariel in October 2004, that is something I never did forget. Yes, your son was gone, but the fact that he was diagnosed with cancer at such a tender and impressionable age and the fact that he did fight the good fight over an eight-year span has always stayed at the forefront of my mind. He fought, and your family, friends and community rallied around him and fought equally hard for that length of time.
A treasure has been lost...
Posted by: Pearl at September 12, 2006 06:09 AM
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Karen, that's such an incredible passage about your extraordinary son. The tragedy here is as described, we all realize with his loss what he could have done had he had the time to do more, unimpeded by illness. But just as an example of how one should conduct oneself in times of 'truris'...that what you wrote about Ariel should be an example to ALL OF US. He continues to teach even gone now, but he could have taught so much more.
I know there is more to Ariel...but this aspect, his bravery and pushing back the fears and hist not given up and trying to do everything he felt he needed to do....are simply mind-boggling, and he set a standard for how we should conduct ourselves in illness or in health.
Amazing story that I appreicated being shared with us.
Posted by: Maurie at September 13, 2006 12:28 AM
This really touched me. Ariel is such an inspiration. One particular story leaves an impression on me. In his book,"The Book of Ariel", a story is told regarding of one trip to sloan ketering. For some reason, the treatment or testing that he came for, fell through. Somehow Ariel is able to find the silver lining in a situation that no one else could. Somehow he finds something positive in a situation that looks so bleak. That is truly an inspiring story. If anyone wants to see the rest of the story, I recommend that you buy the book. great post!
Posted by: glen at September 13, 2006 09:08 PM
Thank you Glen and Maurice for your kind comments. Yes, Ariel could always find a silver lining. And most of all, he was impermeable to the mundane: he was always thinking of the spiritual. To quote the Book of Ariel, once more, when he called his friends, he did not ask "What's up?" He asked, "What are you working on?"
Posted by: Karen Avrech at September 13, 2006 09:15 PM