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February 07, 2007

Notes on "24" Season 6

Okay, we're into Season 6 of 24, and it's time for a few random observations. If you have not seen 24, watch out, there are some spoilers here.

1. Love the fact that the "suitcase nuke" was actually: In. A. Suitcase. Truth is, a genuine suitcase nuke would be quite a bit larger.

2. Said suitcase nuke was detonated by a Toys R' Us looking switch. A real nuke would entail a somewhat more, er, complicated system. But listen, this is Hollywood, we have to make things really simple, and most of all, make drama happen very quickly. Details are often incredibly messy.

3. Also, love that the nuke was detonated "in the Valley" and we have not seen any devastation whatsoever, nor one single fatality. Not even a second degree burn. Besides, who cares about the Valley anyway?

4. This season should be titled: "My Family is More Dysfunctional Than Yours. Much More."

5. Presidential Advisor Thomas Lennox, Peter MacNicol, has some of the best lines ever. And though we're supposed to hate him as some sort of right-wing lunatic gone wild, here's his advice to the latest clueless President of the United States regarding the Islamic crazies: "“With all due respect Mr. President, George Washington’s enemies wore bright red coats and marched in a straight line.” You just gotta love this little guy.

6. Mrs. Graeme Bauer, Rena Sofer -- I gave Rena her first Hollywood job in Stranger Among Us. She's the Chatam Sofer's great, great, great grand-daughter. Anyway, she gets all snarky with Jack when, snarling and armed to the teeth, he busts into her home. She's not worried about national security. Nooooo. It's their, em, personal history that's got her all hot and bothered. What is it with the women in Jack's life? Don't they ever get over him?

7. My favorite Minor Character: The Torture Drug Agent. He carries around this cool, shiny briefcase that has some pretty nasty torture drugs neatly tucked inside with which CTU extracts valuable information from various bad guys -- mostly the dozens of moles who have penetrated CTU. Sheesh, that place has more leaks than the Titanic. Anyway, last episode, when Jack ordered the Torture Drug Agent to "Get the kit!" The look on the Agent's face was like: "Whoa, Jack's gonna torture his very own flesh and blood. This I just gotta see!"

8. Sandra Palmer AKA The First Sister. Man is she the world's most annoying Liberal or what? Joel Surnow is the best known Republican in Hollywood. I can just see him sitting at his computer writing the First Sister's scenes, smoking his smelly cigars and laughing like crazy. Hopefully she will get vaporized when nuke #2 goes off in hour twelve or so.

9. What's with Skinny Attitude Girlfriend of the Guy Trying to Arm the Nuke? She looks like Kate Warner, Season #2. Casting people, please, spread your net a bit wider. G-d, I hope Skinny Attitude Girlfriend turns out to be some brilliant cold-hearted killer, like, sigh, Nina.

10. I miss, sigh, Nina. I really do. She was the best antagonist ever. I know writers. I know scripts. C'mon guys, you can bring, sigh, Nina back to life. Just sit down and, y'know, write Nina, sigh, last one, I promise, back into the show.

11. Chloe. Oh. My. Gosh. Do you really think this new glam look suits you? Karen is still in a state of shock. She wants you to get back into your appropriately ratty sweaters and stop pretending to be someone you're not. Helllooo! Asperger's. Remember? Really, this will not do. We're not even going to bring up Morris and his yucky goatee.

12. Nadia. My vote for the latest CTU mole. Big-time. Why? Because the genius of 24 is going against 40 years of liberal TV brainwashing. The writers are spending all this time building up Nadia as this wonderful loyal Muslim American Babe -- who's not too hard on the eyes. And she's also, get this, a registered Republican. Meanwhile, she's being red-flagged by nasty Homeland Security. Poor Nadia. I'm telling you, it's the perfect set-up for a classic Islamic nut job.

13. Jack is no longer schlepping around his all-purpose, secret agent, man-bag. To which we say: Baruch HaShem.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at February 7, 2007 10:49 AM

Comments

Seraphic Secret is private property, that's right, it's an extension of our home, and as such, Karen and I have instituted two Seraphic Rules and we ask commentors to act respectfully.

1. No profanity.

2. No Israel bashing. We debate, we discuss, we are respectful. You know what Israel bashing is. The world is full of it. Seraphic Secret is one of the few places in the world that will not tolerate this form of anti-Semitism.

That's it. Break either of these rules and you will be banned.

I'm rather fascinated by Rena Sofer. Every time I see her, I'm struck by just how distinctly Jewish she seems... I'm not sure why. Is she observant at all? Strange that she didn't change her name.


I can't beleive she's decended from the Chasam Sofer- oy, America!

Posted by: M at February 7, 2007 12:52 PM

M:

I don't divulge personal information about people in the film industry. It would not be appropriate. Rena is a lovely woman and a very fine actress.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 7, 2007 01:14 PM

. Chloe. Oh. My. Gosh. Do you really think this new glam look suits you? Karen is still in a state of shock.

Robert, you are the first yeshiva-schooled male I've ever known who makes it his hobby to follow TV dress fashions, and in the Hollywood vernacular at that! I feel like you've got the Talmud in one hand and People magazine in the other!

Posted by: Solomon2 at February 7, 2007 01:26 PM

Solomon:

When you work in the film business, you end up working with the costume department and you learn a great deal about, you know, girl stuff. I've got the Talmud on one hand and CoCo Chanel on the other. Karen doesn't make a fashion move without my expert and lunatic input. You should see the latest killer boots I advised her to buy. They're like one-half equestrian, one-half Helmut Newton--but completely tznius.

Meanwhile, I'm addicted to LL Bean fashions.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 7, 2007 01:41 PM

People have this stereotype that American Jewish women are all yentas like Barbara Streisand. But there are many SMOKING hot Hollywood actoresses who are members of the tribe. Aside from Nat Portman, Sofer (gorgeous!), Gina Gershon, Lauren Bacall, Liz Taylor, Fran Drescher, Carrie Fisher, Mia Kirschner, Julianna Margulies, Winona Ryderand and of course Elizabeth Shue.
I wonder if Robert can comment on the good character/personalities of any of them? :)

Posted by: Lt. J. Fishman at February 7, 2007 01:44 PM

You can keep your Gershons and Sofers... I always had a crush on Estelle Harris.

Posted by: Jake at February 7, 2007 01:51 PM

Mr. Avrech-

Yes, of course- just wondering atype, as she seems so anomalous.

Baruch Hashem for 24- I have something to talk to my brother about...

Posted by: M at February 7, 2007 01:54 PM

Hi Robert,
I skipped right over the text of your post so as not to read the spoilers, but I do need some 24-related advice from you (and/or your readers). I have been watching the 1st season of 24, painstakingly renting it disk-by-disk from Netflix. I'm on the final disk of the season and have to make a decision. Should I continue to watch the entire show season by season in order, or is there a particularly good season I should make sure I watch first in case I get too busy to watch anymore for a while? Would I miss too much backstory if I skipped to a different season?

On another note, I burst out laughing the other day while driving around what must be your neck of the woods. We passed by Lark Ellen Street and the name finally made sense to me. :-)

Posted by: Nedra at February 7, 2007 03:42 PM

Nedra:

1: Don't bother renting. It's probably cheaper to buy whole seasons of 24 right from Amazon. And then you can watch them in marathon session like a true lunatic!

2. Definitely watch 24 in order. I do have my favorite season, it is #2. But there are moments in each season that are just gold.

3. Yup, moved to LA 22 years ago, drove past Larke Ellen Street, turned to the love of my life and vowed to use that name in a book or a movie.

I always keep my promises. Which makes me either scary or obsessive or just , y'know, honest.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at February 7, 2007 05:05 PM

Jake:

Estelle Harris: well if not for my life-long obsession with Karen, Estelle was definitely my second choice.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 7, 2007 05:21 PM

Aww, what did you have against Jack's anti-terrorism kit? It was awesome. Whatever he needed was always either in his bag or in the back of his SUV. It was sort of like a married woman's purse that always has just what her husband needs, no matter what ridiculous situation he has gotten himself into...

Posted by: Fern R at February 7, 2007 06:23 PM

Fern:

I know. I know. But here me out.

The kit, though khaki, and slung ruggedly over his Jack's manly shoulders was, no matter how you cut it, a, you know, man-bag.

I'm basically a minimalist when it comes to my anti-terrorist agents: when a situation arises, just use what's at hand. I'm kind of allergic to bottomless bags that always happen to have just what's needed at that very moment. "Wow, look at that, a 12 -handed thingamabob, justy when I needed one."

Though you should see Karen's magical leather backback. I'm telling you whatever you need, whatever the situation--even the DMV--Karen's bag has the tool/solution/pill/weapon/super-powerbar to deal with said situation. But then, Karen is female so a bag/purse/kit is okay.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 7, 2007 07:37 PM

They're like one-half equestrian, one-half Helmut Newton--but completely tznius.

I'm waaaay out of my depth here! Picasso, Beethoven, and even Star Trek I can handle, but this? Guess that makes me uncultured. (Sob!)

Posted by: Solomon2 at February 7, 2007 08:14 PM

I just read an article in yesterday's WSJ (Personal section) by an Arab-American defending 24's portrayal of Arabs as terrorists. It doesn't seem to be available online, but if you get the WSJ be sure to read it.

Posted by: kishke at February 8, 2007 06:51 AM

Thanks for the advice. I'll go on to Season 2. With two little kids and my own business, I can't do an all-day marathon, as much as I'd love to. In fact, I can barely keep up with the 2 DVDs a month Netflix plan I have. So it'll just have to be a months-long project to fit in when I have time, but that's okay.

Posted by: Nedra at February 8, 2007 08:07 AM

Solomon:

That's okay, you're probably too young for Helmut Newton, anyway:)

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 8, 2007 09:17 AM

Kishke:

I'll look it up. Thanks.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 8, 2007 09:18 AM

Nedra:

BTW, Season 1 of 24 has my favorite fatherly advice from Jack to Kim: "Kim, shoot him again!"

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 8, 2007 09:20 AM

Lt. Fishman:

I remember when Liz Taylor and I were hanging around on the set of "National Velvet" and she turned to me and said...

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 8, 2007 09:24 AM

Does anyone else have this strange idea of MacGuyver as Jack? I truly think they are the same.

Posted by: Simon at February 8, 2007 10:40 AM

Simon:

MacGyver never shot a woman in the leg to make her husband talk, never tortured his own brother, never shot a man then cut off his head, never became a heroine addict to go undercover, never, well I could go on and on, but you get the idea. Mac's a choir-boy, compared to Jack.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 8, 2007 11:12 AM

"Kim, shoot him again!"

So many movies would be so much shorter if all young female characters were given this advice, preferably followed by "Then turn the rifle around and beat his brain to a pulp with its butt", but alas they are not, and evil characters continue to get up and resume stalking the heroines.

Posted by: Michael Jennings at February 8, 2007 12:03 PM

Michael:

"Kim, shoot him again!" This is easily my favorite moment in 24.

1. It is such a tender moment between father and daughter.

2. Tactically, it's sound advice.

3. I have given it to both my daughters several times.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 8, 2007 12:19 PM

"I have given it to both my daughters several times."

On what occasions?

Posted by: kishke at February 8, 2007 12:25 PM

Kishke:

At Shabbos dinners, y'know, sort of an off-hand d'var Torah. Doesn't everybody?

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 8, 2007 12:31 PM

Jews are allowed to shoot people during Shabbos?

Posted by: Michael Jennings at February 8, 2007 12:52 PM

Michael:

I was giving the girls general advice on Shabbos. You know, light, Shabbos-table conversation.

"If you shoot some bad guy, make sure to tap him again when he's down. Just to make sure that he stays down."

And yes, we can shoot, stab, bludgeon, garrot, whatever, on Shabbos if our lives are threatened. Self-defense is primary in Jewish law.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 8, 2007 01:07 PM

I also do Shabbos-table discussion in that vein. It goes something like this: "Pass the chicken again. Again please. Again," and is repeated for each course.

Posted by: kishke at February 8, 2007 01:42 PM

Besides, who cares about the Valley anyway?

Oy, just the 600,000 of us that live and love living in the Valley. While I am tempted to go off and speak about how the Valley is superior the city I'll save that.

FWIW, the nuke went off in Valencia. That is located in Santa Clarita which is a good 25 miles or so north of the Valley.

If you have ever been to Magic Mountain you have been to Santa Clarita. For that matter if you have ever taken the 5 up to the Bay Area you have been through Santa Clarita.

And just because I am rolling it out it is possible that some of you have spent a few minutes on the 14 which takes you out to Palmdale/Lancaster and on towards Vegas.

Posted by: Jack at February 8, 2007 04:04 PM

Jack:

Thanks for the geography lesson. Personally, I care deeply about The Valley. Some of my best friends are, um, Valley Dwellers.

Okay, so: who cares about Valencia?

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 8, 2007 04:12 PM

This is great! I don't watch 24. I don't like the format and I don't like all the very personal sturm and drang. However, I love the concept and I love the blow 'em up / car chase / snappy comeback / high tech / etc. stuff...
So, between you and Lileks and Hugh Hewitt, I get it all without having to watch.
Thank you! :)

Posted by: Moishe3rd at February 8, 2007 08:21 PM

Moishe3rd:

You're welcome.

Gee, don't you like to see bad guys and gals tortured horribly? We do! No liberal wishy-washy hand-wringing on this show. Jack just, you know, does what a man's got to do. In other words, you are not quite getting it. Maybe next time I'll write up, "24's Best Torture Moments."

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 8, 2007 08:44 PM

What I like about this show is that they aren't afraid to make it real. The good guys do not always prevail.

Posted by: Jack at February 8, 2007 09:42 PM

Which is weirder? Which doesn't belong where? The chassam sofer's granddaughter in 24, or the fact, Robert, that you can hyperlink the Chasam Sofer reference to Wikipedia?

We live in strange times..

Posted by: Real Name at February 8, 2007 09:54 PM

Jack:

I agree. The very best dramas allow the heroes to fail every once in a while.

Rule #1 of Screenwriting via Your Main Character: Define him by his faults and weaknesses. That keeps him human and relatable. Heroism will come with his actions.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 9, 2007 07:44 AM

Real Name:

Listen, when I hired Rena I said to myself: "Robert, you are hiring The Chatam Sofer's great, great, great granddaughter. How weird is that?" The answer: It would have been weirder not to hire her because of said ancestor.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 9, 2007 07:49 AM

Non, non, monsieur, I love watching the bad guys get blown up and their kneecaps shot off. I just don't like seeing the good guys offed - I have only seen some re-runs - the last one I saw had Jack killing one of his fellow agents in order to sastify the bad guy terrorist; and yes, I'm sure it turned out that the agent killed was "bad," but I don't have the patience to finish...
By very personal sturm and drang, I mean the soap opera quality of all of the personal relationships. I want Eastwood saying "do you feel lucky?" or Willis saying "yipeekiyo m*****f*****" I don't care what someone's father's mother's daughter's cousin did their alcoholic grandfather that caused their best friend to join the Serbian black power terrorist group.
Just shoot 'em.
That I could watch.

Posted by: Moishe3rd at February 9, 2007 02:19 PM

Moishe:

And that I like to write.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 9, 2007 04:16 PM

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