Two important questions:

Which particular food did the guest talk to? And what did he say to it?

In every synagogue, (and probably every church), this is such a person or two. A totally benign, and sometimes even very good & kind person who happens to be... what's the polite term? Mentally challenged.

I grew up in so many synagogues and I eventually learned how to spot this person. And one thing always happens, everyone treats him or her very well. They listen to them when they talk, and even initiate a conversation or two with them from time to time just so they know we care, know we acknowledge their presence.

Why? Maybe because being with a group and praying with them regularly inspires a humility that reminds us that every one of us is a little "crazy" and and "oddball" from time to time. Perhaps we're the strange ones in someone else's eyes.

It's one of the really nice things about houses of worship and religious communities that really isn't discussed very often.

Thank you so much for doing that here and now.

Kishke:

Guest had a particularly warm and animated conversation with the cheese cake. I did not get close enough to hear the details for I did not consider it polite to eavesdrop on a, um, private conversation.

Jake:

Guest is a very good and kind person. Anyone who considers me a Maestro of the screenplay form and refers to Karen as Dr. is AOK in my book—conversations with food or not.

The word spectral conjures up a ghostly image lacking materiality. Interesting.

Why is this blog ignored in your community, Robert?

Sorry, I'm in a hurry but I meant to tell you I liked the piece. And I meant to post on the algore thread that he's a hypocrit hack politician who has no, NO, understanding of salt of the earth religious folks who he learned to disdain at his mother's feet. She was a real piece of work, the orginal stage mother. And did I say he's an elitist snob? Though his daddy did make him work on the farm in the summers. Once we went to a fundraiser for him in July, it was hot. All the men were in short sleeves, the women were in sun dresses. Al was in his dark blue suit with starched white shirt. He looked uncomfortable and out of place and reminded me of that strange picture of Pres. Nixon walking on the CA beach in a suit and dress shoes. I'm being catty. But he really made me mad when he stood up for the DOE years ago and told us, the citizens of Tennessee, to give consideration to building a nuclear waste dump for the whole US in Oak Ridge. Oh it would just be temporary, ole al said. The weasel had already set himself up as the "green" politician and here he was seriously asking us, his "home" state, to give consideration to housing tons and tons of radioactive waste. In Tennessee, the land of limestone and caves. That means, porous, so the stuff can seep all the better. Don't get me started about al. Well maybe one more. He hired a woman here to be his office mgr and then dissed her when she wanted benefits like health insurance.

Ok, ok I have to go. Thanks for having me over, Robert.
May your suffering cease,
may your happiness increase

Johanna

I can identify. If I mention that I have a blog, in my community, most of the time I get asked - what's a blog? and why would people read it? where do they get the time?
Anyway...conversations with cheese cake might be an improvement over some of the other guests.
Come to think of it...anything to do with cheese cake is probably good.
Nice story Robert.

MH

Another great slice-of-life piece, Robert. Just like cheesecake -- it's so good, we don't want to pass it up. Thank you.

At the expense of (reading about) your insecurities...we are entertained, amused. Some of us are no doubt also sad because we can relate to the difficulties of being in large social gatherings, having to make small talk and look happy -- when we may just very well be crumbling inside. (like a good cheesecake crust!)

When I was in Lawrence recently for a Sheva Brachos I had a similar experience. Fancy, well-to-do community, an elegant and beautiful kiddush in shul, and there's a disheveled man in sneakers, planted in front of the cut fruit, eating like an automaton. Not just melon; you know the cactus pear? Thick rind, a million ball-bearing-like seeds? Down the hatch, like Prote in K-Pax. I thought he might be a street person who knew what a kiddush was, but then someone went over and talked to him, like an old acquaintance. He recommended the plums.

Johanna:

Why is Seraphic Secret ignored in my own community?

It's not a willfull act. It's, I dunno, just your basic: why the heck should I care what the guy in shul who writes movies for a living thinks.

"Guest had a particularly warm and animated conversation with the cheese cake."

Nothing wrong with that. I've been known to talk to cheese cake too, particularly my wife's, which is sinfully good.

Joanna:

Al Gore. Well. Obviously the people of his home great state of Tenn. were not fooled either for in Bush vs. Gore, Little Al managed to lose his home state to President Bush. It was not even close. That is quite an accomplishment for a presidential candidate. Gore's supporters in NY, Calif. and Mass. skate right past that quite signifigant fact.

When I was a kid growing up in Brooklyn, there was a man who stood out on Ocean Parkway with a sign that read: The World is Coming to an End. He raved on and on, day and night, quoted all sorts of scientific facts to convince us of his particular brand of truth. Of course, we all understood that he was harmless—but quite insane.

That nut-job is now Al Gore.

Mata Hari:

To the question: What's a Blog?

Possible Answers:

1. A Blog is a new weapon being tested out in Iraq.
2. A Blog a newly discovered species of kosher pig.
3. A Blog a really big stain made by a cheese cake.

Pearl:

Insecure, me? What makes you say that? Who told you? Why are you saying that? Who else is saying it? How many are saying it? Are my insecurities that evident? Not that I'm admitting that I'm insecure. You know who's really inscure?

Jake.

He's really insecure. He's so insecure he'll probably make a list of the Ten Top Reasons He's Not Insecure just to proof that he is secure when he really is totally insecure.

Got that?

Oy, Robert! Paranoid too?

And here's a thought for you...and Randi:

CHEESECAKE IS THE NEW BABKA!

Everybody from the Los Angeles Jewish community is here.

Hey now. I wasn't there and I am definitely part of the LA Jewish Community. Or maybe I was there. Maybe I was the guy hanging out with Shlomo by the bar. We do love that Slipovitz. ;)

Barzilai:

When I was a kid growing up in Brooklyn and I used to see men like the Guest at the Shabbos kiddushim at my father's shul I used to think: "Maybe he's Eliyahu HaNavi." And I'd make sure that this person received more than enough food and drink.

Jack:

Well, I said hello to you but you were too busy with Shlomo and the booze to bother responding. Not that I'm paranoid or insecure or anything like that.

I grew up out here and have mastered the intentional snub. Now if you would have used that knife to cut a couple of pieces of challah I might have reconsidered.

Robert,
In my shtetl here in Minneapolis, not only wouldn't people read my blog (if I posted one regularly, which I don't), but they find me decidely peculiar when I start talking about internet forums and blogs... As in "why would he waste his time reading these things or writing on the internet?"
Then again, ever since my Vietnam vet brother gave me a 9-11 memorial flag pin in 2002, I have worn it on the lapel of my davening jacket... Which has confirmed everybody's opinion that I am decidely odd and more to be pitied than censured.
(Although, I did have a frum yid tell me, once, in Lakewood, where I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law, that he wished that he had the courage to wear such a pin...)

Moishe:

So, what would happen in your chilly shtetl if you wore an Israeli flag in your kapatah's lapel?

Top 10 Signs I'm More Insecure than Robert

(Actually there are 11... I'm too insecure to do just 10)
by Jake Novak

11)Robert is secure enough to just make fun of liberals... I just make fun of everyone and hope nobody takes me seriously

10) Robert is unafraid to publish all the key emotional details of his courtship with Karen... I'll do the same as soon as my wife legally proves she isn't insane for marrying me

9) Robert wrote "Body Double"... I WATCHED "Body Double"... or whatever I could see when I wasn't cowering in the theater.

8) Robert is proud to say he is a conservative Republican... I'm too insecure to admit I am the last living member of the Whig Party.

7) Robert uses a combat knife to cut the Challah... I just threaten it a few times, but am too afraid to really do anything to it.

6) Robert occasionally gets his pieces accepted for publication by The Jewish Press... I afraid I'll be rejected by the Jewish Press editors as a READER.

5) Robert is unafraid to continue pumping loads of money into Apple... with what I've heard about pesticides, I'm too afraid to eat an apple.

4) Robert went to BTA for high school... When I was in high school I was afraid to get within 6 blocks of the BTA building

3) Robert never misses an episode of 24... I watch "Heroes", but only while clutching my lucky blanky

2) Robert is secure enough to write a lot about Jane Austen and women's dresses... I think Jane Austen is women's tennis star

1) Robert has a Tec-9... To feel safe, I need at least a Tec-10, sometimes a Tec-11