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March 16, 2007

The Heart of Yocheved

By Dan Dzindzihashvili

Dan Dzindzihashvili, a Seraphic Friend, has been a faithful reader for many years. Dan is a baal teshuva, born in Israel, and raised in Queens. He received his MFA from NYU where he studied with Tony Kushner. His plays have been presented at various off-off broadway venues, such as Soho Rep, HERE, Immigrants Theatre Project, and Ensemble Studio Theatre. His short play "True Confessions" has been published in an anthology by Stage and Screen, edited by Daniel Aukin. He currently does kiruv with his beautiful wife Tami and learns gemara at Chofetz Chaim Yeshiva in the evenings.

My wife and I just returned from Israel yesterday morning.

It was her first time there in seven years and my first time in sixteen years.

Coincidentally, we were there at the same time as our Rabbi, Aharon Chein and his family.

The vacation ended in tragedy.

On Friday, March 9, 2007, Rabbi Chein’s wife, Yocheved Chein and her mother Rachel Tzedek Schneerson were killed in a rear end collision. Rabbi Aharon Chein survived with many broken ribs and a broken heart. It turns out that there were seventeen car accidents that day.

My wife and I are close friends of the Chein family. My wife is especially close to the Chein's two daughters as they are the same age.

A few weeks ago we were visiting the Chein's after Shabbat meal on Saturday afternoon. It was then and there that my wife and I decided to go to Israel. Rabbi Chein and his wife were also going to be there for the yahrzeit of the Rebbetzin’s father, Rabbi Shmuel zt’l. Also, it was going to be Rabbi Chein’s niece’s bat mitzvah.

We had a scheduled wonderful experiences in Israel for that whole week covering every area we could in a short period of time, including going to the Dead Sea, Haifa, Yaffo, the graves of the tzadikim in Tiberias, Tzfat, and Meron, etc. On Friday afternoon, March 9, 2007 we were supposed to meet the Cheins for a quick pizza in Jerusalem at 10:30AM.

We got a call on our cell phone from their daughter that the meeting was cancelled and she hung up. She called an hour later and said that her grandmother was killed in a car accident.

Then she called another hour later and said that her mother passed away on the operating table in Kaplan Hospital in Rechovot.

My wife and I were supposed to spend Shabbat in Jerusalem in the neighborhood of Mea Shearim at the home of another Georgian couple who had made aliyah. Instead, my wife and I spent Shabbat in Kaplan Hospital with Rabbi Chein. Tzippie Traimen was there with us too as her husband had to stay in Beth El with their two beautiful children.

It turns out that Rabbi Chein and his wife and his mother-in-law were on the way to the cemetery to visit the grave of Rabbi Shmuel zt’l. Rabbi Aharon had rented a car that week. He was the driver and the front seat passenger was his mother-in-law. Yocheved was in the back. They were at a full stop for a red light when a truck driven by another Jew, rear-ended their vehicle. Based on the pictures in the media, the car looked like an accordion. Rabbi Aharon’s mother-in-law passed away on the spot. Rabbi Aharon and Yocheved were taken to a hospital in Rechovot.

Alex dropped us off at the central bus station in Jerusalem so that we could take the next bus to Rechovot before Shabbat. My wife and Tzippie read Tehillim and intercepted various frantic calls coming from NYC on their cell phones.

It turns out that the only organ still working in Yocheved was her heart. The doctors asked if they should still continue trying to save her. The answer from her children was, “Hell, yeah!” Some time later the news came and Rabbi Aharon cried. The last time I saw him cry was during services of Yom Kippur as he was giving it his all for the refuah of his ill father.

I received a call from my aunt in Or Yehuda asking if I wanted to spend Shabbat with her. I told her it’s my Rabbi. He needs us. Luckily, Kaplan hospital has a special lounge with couches in separate rooms for men and women whose relatives are patients and need a place to stay as those folks staying are assumed to be shomer Shabbat.

So many striking images come to mind as I recall that Shabbat in Rechovot.

First of all, there was a brit milah in NYC on the morning of March 1, 2007. An acquaintance had her grandson’s brit milah that morning. I was late, but still able to catch the father of the baby to say mazel tov. There was no meal served, as that was the day of the Fast of Esther. As I was exiting the synagogue, Yocheved, who also happened to be there (her flight would be the following Monday night) blessed me for a safe trip and that she’d see us there. Then she quickly handed me $2 so that I could give that money as tzedakah as well as a segulah to fulfill my mission as a messenger, etc.

Once a month Yocheved would make cholent for the youth minyan of our shul as an attempt for kiruv. Now, there is no one to make cholent.

Her eldest daughter, Nechama Dina, was relating a story of how her mother didn’t want to come on this trip. Though she eventually went on this sojourn, she was resistant in going to the cemetery. It turns out that her father, Rabbi Shmuel zt’l was 44-years old when he passed away on the 19th of Adar 23 years ago. March 9, 2007 was also the 19th of Adar. Yocheved was also 44-years old. Now the family observes three yarztzeits on the 19th of Adar. Rabbi Aharon said little during our stay in the hospital. He quoted something from the gemara, which says that when a person reaches the same age as the age that one of his or her parents passed away, that that person should be especially careful that year. Furthermore, it turns out that Yocheved’s mother, Rachel, had a dream in which she saw the end of her days.

Also, the night before, it turns out that Yocheved called her four sons in the U.S. She called many other people. It turns out she called everyone close to her – a cryptic good-bye?

Two nights before, Wednesday night, was the bat mitzvah. Yocheved took pictures with practically everyone there. There’s one picture, a group picture, where Yocheved is standing outside the group smiling at everyone.

Pesach is coming and it turns out that Yocheved was almost finished in with her cleaning for chometz. In her home in Queens, she took out all of her clothes and laid them on top of her bed and covered them with a white sheet. Common sense would say that she wanted to prevent dust from gathering on the clothes. From a spiritual perspective, one could see that she made everything easy for everyone.

As we spent Shabbat in the hospital, our concern was for Rabbi Aharon. He needed help moving around and was told to walk as much as possible to prevent an infection of the lungs from the broken ribs. Helping him walk was easy. Keeping his spirits up was difficult.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe had many personal photographers. One of them was Mr. Eli Yonah. He walked 2.5 hours to visit Rabbi Aharon Shabbat afternoon. I sat in the room with Mr. Yohah and Moti, a young friend of the family. Moti is the son of a prominent Georgian Rabbi in Kiryat Atta. Moti also has a beautiful voice. We sat there singing Shabbat and Chabad nigguns. We all knew that you have to be happy on Shabbat, no matter what.

Earlier in the afternoon, it turns out that the other daughter, Devorah Leah, had approached one of the nurses about seeing Yocheved’s body. He was agreeable on the condition that we caused no balagan, no chaos. We were escorted to another side of the hospital where the corpses are held in refrigerators. Yocheved was in box number 6. I could not believe my eyes as the nurse unzipped the body bag. Yocheved had a smile on her face. I thought that she’d wake up and ask us to keep the noise down.

We left the room and washed our hands. We stood outside dividing and assigning chapters of Tehillim.

Shabbat passed and numerous calls came along with many visitors. Nothing could take away Rabbi Aharon’s pain.

On Sunday, at the levaya in Kiryay Malachi, there were 2,800 people gathered. There were many prominent Chabad Rabbis there. All of them mentioned Yocheved’s big heart, her love of the Rebbe, her zest for life, love, and mitzvot, as well as all Jews. Sometimes in our community, there are still some events with mixed dancing. Yocheved would grab the kallah and try to get at least fifteen minutes of separate dancing. Who can fill her shoes now?

It was a dramatic moment at the levaya as the remainder of her children grabbed the first plane out of NYC on motzei Shabbat. They arrived in Kiryat Malachi towards the end of the levaya. The crying from those attending the funeral was overwhelming. This was no movie. This was true pain. The procession took her body to Jerusalem’s Mount of Olives. Yocheved’s mother, Mrs. Rachel Tzedek Schneerson, was buried on Friday, two days earlier.

Yocheved is the mother of six children. Two are married. One is close to obtaining a smicha. Now she won’t be there to dance at the simchas for her other children. But, I do know that she’ll be there in spirit, smiling. That’s the last image I will have of her – smiling and at peace.

I also have to acknowledge just how important Yocheved was to my wife and I. It was Yocheved who went with my wife to purchase her first hair covering. It’s because of Rabbi Aharon that I started to wear Rabbeinu Tam tefillin.

Yocheved was also an inspiration. Yocheved enrolled in an undergraduate institution in Queens where she would be a double major – English and computers. This past semester, she had 3 A’s and one A-. It gave her such pleasure to learn to communicate with her children via e-mail.

What about her special salad dressing that she was famous for? This may sound silly, but that was a part of my oneg Shabbat.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

I’ve attended many funerals and being emotionally moved. However, this is the first funeral where I cried a running sink of tears.

I recall a lecture I attended that Ohr Sameach hosted. The esteemed talmid chacham, Rabbi Berel Wein was one of the speakers. He has a special speaking style and one thing he said was, “We want Mashiach now? What chutzpah?! Hashem decides when Mashiach will come!” I have to disagree. We as a Jewish nation have to demand his coming right away. The pain in this galut has to end.

There are times we can all recall Yocheved saying something in Georgian to many people as a point of encouragement. She’d scream, “Wake up, you ostriches. Mashiach is coming!”

Dan's pain and his emunah are deeply affecting. Baruch Dayan Emet.

Here is Kumah, the aliyah organization Dan is involved with.

Karen and I wish all our Seraphic Friends a lovely and meaningful Shabbos.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at March 16, 2007 10:36 AM

Comments

Seraphic Secret is private property, that's right, it's an extension of our home, and as such, Karen and I have instituted two Seraphic Rules and we ask commentors to act respectfully.

1. No profanity.

2. No Israel bashing. We debate, we discuss, we are respectful. You know what Israel bashing is. The world is full of it. Seraphic Secret is one of the few places in the world that will not tolerate this form of anti-Semitism.

That's it. Break either of these rules and you will be banned.

Posted by: alan at March 16, 2007 12:35 PM

Posted by: Morey at March 16, 2007 01:16 PM

Posted by: Dan at March 16, 2007 02:36 PM

Posted by: Jeremiah at March 16, 2007 05:34 PM

Posted by: Pearl at March 17, 2007 06:42 PM

Posted by: Dan at March 17, 2007 08:47 PM

Posted by: Rick Probstein at March 18, 2007 01:45 PM

Posted by: Dan at March 19, 2007 05:56 AM

Posted by: Morey at March 20, 2007 04:30 PM

Posted by: Dan at March 21, 2007 06:20 AM

Posted by: Rick Probstein at March 29, 2007 11:04 AM

Posted by: Sharon Sinclair at April 7, 2007 07:39 AM

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