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May 02, 2007
Not Financial Advice
"Mr. Avrech, I want to tell you how much I like your website Sephardic Secret."
"Thanks so much, actually, it's Seraphic Secret."
"Seraphic?"
"Uh-huh."
"Can you spell that for me?"
I've just exited shul, and one of my Persian acquaintances has stopped to talk to me. I have no idea what his name is, I only know it has lots of o's and u's in it, and when I hear it pronounced I'm pretty sure I'm in Klingon land.
I spell Seraphic.
My Persian friend maps the word in his head, making a mental picture. I'll bet he's clicking a different blog entirely.
"Ah, Seraphic, like the angels."
"Right."
"You have the picture of Ariel, alav ha-shalom on the side, what a wonderful young man."
"Thank you."
"So I like your site so much, I just want you to know."
Listen, I'm a writer, a sucker for praise. I live for compliments.
"What is it you like best?"
"Oh, your financial advice."
"WHAT?!"
"You said to buy Apple and I did, when it was at 84, and now it's in the 90's, and I have you to thank."
Oh boy.
I sweat blood writing my political posts, I pour my soul into hideously embarrassing personal confessions, and don't ask how I stomp on my heart with the How I Married Karen series.
I know, I know, I'm way overdue with another chapter.
"Listen. I'm glad you've made some money. But I really didn't tell people to buy."
Confession: I'm terrified of lawyers, of being sued, so I make sure to let everybody know that I do not give financial advice.
"Yes, yes, but you hinted."
"No, no, no hints. I was just telling people what I do. Me."
"So, what do you think, should I sell, take profits?"
"Are you kidding! Of course not. Apple's probably going to go to 115, maybe 120 this year. Hold. Hold. Hold."
He grins.
I heave a great sigh.
"I'm just telling you what I would do."
"Yes, of course. And tell me, are there any other stocks you like very much?"
"Oh man, I love Elbit Systems, Ltd. Israeli company. Talk about socially responsible corporations. This company makes weapons systems that kills jihadists. Can't get any more socially responsible than that. I just bought a ton of shares. But now hear this and in bold type: this is not financial advice. It's just what I do."
"Yes, yes, I understand. Any others?"
"Love Genuine Parts. Not sexy. Not high profile. Car parts. That's it. Solid as a rock. This company even made a profit during the depression. Buy, and hold."
"Thank you, thank you."
"Um, listen, is there anything you like on my blog beside when I write about Apple?"
My Persian financial whiz looks perplexed. He frowns, he fidgets, he looks really pained. But after a moment he brightens:
"Yes, I like when you say to bomb Persia. That is very good advice."
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at May 2, 2007 10:52 AM
Comments
Seraphic Secret is private property, that's right, it's an extension of our home, and as such, Karen and I have instituted two Seraphic Rules and we ask commentors to act respectfully.
1. No profanity.2. No Israel bashing. We debate, we discuss, we are respectful. You know what Israel bashing is. The world is full of it. Seraphic Secret is one of the few places in the world that will not tolerate this form of anti-Semitism. That's it. Break either of these rules and you will be banned.
Thanks for those stock non-tips, Robert. I'm going to e-mail them to my husband, who trades in the stock market.
(Don't worry - my husband is very knowledgable about trading, so he knows what he's doing most of the time LOL).
Posted by: Tamara at May 2, 2007 11:48 AM
Hey, I own (a teeny tiny piece of) Genuine Parts!
Posted by: kishke at May 2, 2007 12:01 PM
Tamara:
I'm just a Hollywood screenwriter. I do not give financial advice and strongly urge anyone who considers investing in the stock market to seek professional guidance before risking any money.
That said: let me know what your husband says about my non-advice.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.seraphicpress.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at May 2, 2007 12:02 PM
Kishke:
Great minds, v'chulie.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at May 2, 2007 12:04 PM
So, Robert, do you have any Sephardic Secrets -- aside from stock tips -- to disclose?
I think I told you once that I wore the Seraphic Press ballcap and someone saw it and exclaimed, "Sephardic Press...what do they publish?"
Hope your Persian friend doesn't mind you posted this vignette...but it's a good one, in any case.
Posted by: Pearl at May 2, 2007 12:37 PM
Pearl:
My Sephardic tip is: This is Seraphic Secret.
Got my Persian friend to sign a release giving me permission to post our conversation :)
He said: "I am now famous!"
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at May 2, 2007 12:50 PM
"Buy low, sell high."
The rest is details. ;)
Posted by: Kent at May 2, 2007 01:35 PM
Hmm... not sure if I can comment much on the stock tips, seeing as how I audit hedge funds, but as to the rest... LOL!!!
I *can* say this one, though: NYX. It's not too late to pick it up now, and there's talk of it shooting over 200 in the next 18 months after they have a big Europe merger. And what's the downside? The NYSE crashing? If that happened, you'd lose no matter where your money was. So buy NYX. :) (Then send me a percentage of the profits, as I'm still trying to eliminate debt...!)
Posted by: Ezzie at May 2, 2007 02:09 PM
LOL to Kent. My father gave me two pieces of advice when I was 10: 'Buy low, sell high' and 'Buy old houses and new cars.' He said that if I could remember those and follow them, I'd do well in life. :)
Posted by: Ezzie at May 2, 2007 02:10 PM
Kent:
Really? I never knew. I just buy low, and hold and hold and hold.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at May 2, 2007 02:14 PM
Ezzie:
NYX, yes, yes, good non-advice:)
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at May 2, 2007 02:22 PM
Seriously ... buy low and hold forever is actually a pretty good approach for the ordinary investor. Or so I'm told.
Posted by: Kent at May 2, 2007 03:46 PM
I'm pretty sure I'm in Klingon land.
Is that near Cleveland.
Posted by: Jack at May 3, 2007 12:26 AM
Okay, here's my husband's quick and dirty take on your two stocks. He says it's 'on a tear right now' and that he'd keep a 'tight stop on it', but otherwise it looks like a good stock.
He thinks Genuine is about to 'break out.' If it goes down, he would sell it, but if it goes up, it's a keeper. He says the chart looks good on that one.
And I have no idea what the heck this all means.
Posted by: Tamara at May 3, 2007 06:18 AM
The comments about the 'tight stop' referred to Elbit, BTW.
Posted by: Tamara at May 3, 2007 06:20 AM
Have you ever read the six pages of disclaimers at the end of a broker's research report? (Okay, nobody ever reads the six pages of disclaimers, but let us suppose for purposes of this comment that they do). It will generally consist of absurd sentences of legal giberish, but essentially it translates as "We are terrified of being sued, and so therefore you shouldn't construe anything in this report as financial advice". (In fact, you would be insane to trade on any of this). Of course, what it actually it is supposed to be if it is not financial advice is a good question? Is it intended to be used as firelighters by large institutional money managers? And why exactly are the analysts paid so much money other than to provide financial advice?
Posted by: Michael Jennings at May 3, 2007 06:33 AM
Tamara:
A tight stop means you put in an order to blow out the stock if it drops just a little. e.g. just 2% or 3% below current price. A non tight stop would be if the "stop order" (order to blow out stock if its drops) would be around 10%.
Thanks so much and thank your husband.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at May 3, 2007 09:23 AM
Michael:
Those six pages of disclaimers just show that we're all afraid of lawsuits, that ambulance chasers like John Edwards have degraded this country horribly.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at May 3, 2007 09:25 AM
Jack:
Yes, Klingonland is near Cleveland... in a galaxy far, far away.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at May 3, 2007 09:26 AM
Kent - It almost always IS great advice, though one exception at least: If you have a stock that loses a lot of value, you probably want to sell low... then buy it back again. If it goes back up again, you've picked up your losses anyway; if it doesn't, at least you have the tax benefits of a short-term loss. :)
Posted by: Ezzie at May 3, 2007 07:09 PM
Ezzie:
The trick, of course, is when to buy it back.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at May 3, 2007 08:21 PM