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June 21, 2007
The Kesher with Kesher
Honestly, I expected her to be John Wayne tall.
Reading her posts all these years I've been really, really, really intimidated by her incandescent intelligence and serene ability to cut to the heart of the matter in all things.
“This is one smart woman,” Karen said after reading a Kesher post that dealt with Israel and the rather complex history of the Ottoman Empire.
When Karen labels another person smart, I know that person is like beyond brilliant.
And so when Judith Weiss of Kesher, possibly the oldest Jewish political blog, informed me that she was going to attend the Ariel Avrech Yahrtzeit Lecture I was honored, excited—and terrified.
I mean she might start talking to me and figure out pretty quickly that I'm, y'know, not so smart. That really, like I always say, it's Karen who's the brains and beauty of the outfit.
I'm just the whacky sidekick in this relationship.
Anywhoo.
Judith calls me from the car rental place to get directions.
Oh man, hasn't she read my blog? Doesn't she know that I'm geographically challenged?
I'm sweating bullets, and Karen's at work, so I have to do this.
Judith says: “I'm usually very good with directions.”
No kidding, you're like this uber-brain.
“But I just want to make sure.”
By asking the one person in the world who is guaranteed to send you to the cheerful Republic of Belarus.
Taking a deep breath I plunge headlong into the black hole of cartography: “Okay, this time of day, on Friday, you do not want to get on the LA Freeway. Very bad idea. Take the streets. Get on La Cienega, do you see it on your map?”
“Um, give me a minute... yeah, there it is.”
“Okay, take La Cienega to Pico, do you see Pico?”
“Yup.”
“Great, go all the way on La Cienega until Pico, then make a left on Pico and head east.”
“Okay.”
“No, west on Pico, sorry. Wait, I need to get oriented.”
Standing in the middle of my office, I turn round and round like a dreidel; extend my arms like a Japanese traffic cop, trying to imagine the left, right turns Judith will have to make. I must look like I've taken way too much medication. I'll bet Fernando, my UPS man, is going to walk right in and witness your humble scribe in this, um, rather odd configuration. He's already puzzled by my professional existence, wonders how I make a living staring at a gigantic poster of The Seven Samurai. Every time Fernando delivers a package, dontcha know, that's exactly what I'm doing.
Rotating as if on a turntable, I can feel a major migraine blooming in my cortex as I try morphing my analog brain into a digital GPS.
East, west, left, right, up, down; oh my gosh, I'm going to send this poor woman straight into the ocean or, gulp, Compton.
PC Disclaimer: Not that there's anything wrong with Compton.
“Okay, that looks easy enough.”
“Go east, I mean west on Pico until you get to my block, make a left. Wait, is it left? Yeah left, go down three blocks, I think that's south, um, yeah north is Beverly Hills. So definitely go south three blocks and you can't miss Casa Avrech, it's the only house on the block with an American flag on the front lawn.”
“Cool, the flag must be really big.”
“Medium, still, you can't miss it.”
“Great, see you soon.”
“Call me on your cell if you get in any trouble.”
“Oh, I'm good with directions.”
I'm not.
Head back into my office which is in back of Casa Avrech.
In my latest screenplay, the weirdest thing happens, my heroine, a crack sniper, gets lost as she drives to her latest assignment. Huh, wonder how that happened? It's kind of funny, but stupid and pointless. I've just wasted one and a half pages.
Hit the delete button.
Rewrite.
Head back into the house, peek out the window, a white compact cruises to halt in front of the house. She is good with directions, and Belarus has missed out on a great tourist.
Oh my gosh.
Judith is not John Wayne tall.
she
is
petite.
I actually feel better. I thought was going to be craning my neck, looking up at a skyscraper of an uber-woman. Instead I'm going to be craning my neck downward looking at an uber-woman.
Judith smiles and says: “I found it.”
“Thanks so much for coming.”
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at June 21, 2007 11:58 AM
Comments
Seraphic Secret is private property, that's right, it's an extension of our home, and as such, Karen and I have instituted two Seraphic Rules and we ask commentors to act respectfully.
1. No profanity.2. No Israel bashing. We debate, we discuss, we are respectful. You know what Israel bashing is. The world is full of it. Seraphic Secret is one of the few places in the world that will not tolerate this form of anti-Semitism. That's it. Break either of these rules and you will be banned.
LOL. I felt like such a dork because I could have gotten on Google Map while using the wifi at LAX and not only zoomed in on your house but the wine store. Thus saving you some aggravation. As I said, I usually print out 5 zoom-ins of google maps before I go anywhere, and all I had for you was a zoomed out one of most of LA. Not my usual MO.
I had a wonderful time in your community and meeting the bloggers and friends. Maybe I will come back to LA more often. Esp since I went to the Getty on Tuesday and was overwhelmed. I didn't even go in and see any exhibits - I just wandered around the grounds for 4 hours, taking about 500 photos. Also I didn't get to hike Topanga Canyon or drive Mulholland Drive like I had planned, due to prioritizing hanging out with bloggers. So I have to come back.
Posted by: Yehudit at June 21, 2007 03:07 PM
You and Omri each separately terrified me about LA traffic.
Posted by: Yehudit at June 21, 2007 03:11 PM
Y'see, everyone, y'see what I'm talking about: Google maps, wi-fi, 5-zoom-ins on my house. Judith is like a cyber secret agent. Like Mrs. Peel from The Avengers--minus the leather cat suit.
Seriously, glad you had such a good time. We so enjoyed having you.
My mother-in-law got angry that I took you away from her.
I hear the Getty is great, never been there, naturally. No one goes for the art, just for the building. A total vanity project brought to you by another social engineering architect tyrant.
IN one weekend you've already hiked more trails in LA than I have in 22 years, and met more more bloggers in one weekend than I have in my 3 years of blogging.
Sigh.
Back to my cave and my female sniper. Places to go, people to kill.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.seraphicpress.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at June 21, 2007 04:08 PM
You and Omri each separately terrified me about LA traffic.
It is really not that bad, just tedious.
Posted by: Jack at June 21, 2007 08:07 PM
so...my friends and I long ago decided that a good sense of direction is inversely proportional to level of intelligence. oh..did i mention that we're all geographically challenged? nice visual, of you doing the dreidel.
Posted by: mata hari at June 21, 2007 08:43 PM
It is always humbling to attend the annual Ariel Avrech,ztl Yahrzheit Lecture. It's humbling to remember your son, the Tzaddik. You almost feel that Hashem saw him and said, "I've got to have this one near me.".
It is our z'chut to be able to come together with you and Karen and remember Ariel, although feel unworthy to be witness to your pain. May Hashem continue giving your comfort through your beautiful daughters.
Sharon Katz
Posted by: Sharon Katz at June 21, 2007 10:04 PM
Robert, the Getty is wonderful. Go there. Just do it.
Social engineering - the docent told me a story about the garden, which was designed by sculptor Robert Erwin. Meier had designed some formal garden with terraces, in the style of the rest of the place, and the Gettys wisely gave the job to someone with a riotous sense of fun. Meier wasn't pleased, but the Dionysian garden and the Apollonian buildings play off each other beautifully.
Also there is a huge balloon-like sculpture hanging in the atrium which is a giant organ running off a giant player piano scroll - it plays for 5 min every hour. It's crazy and beautiful.
And the Meier buildings are sensuous and austere at the same time, and there's a cactus garden too.
And beautiful views of the city from all sides.
And it's got all this great Renaissance art which I will have to see next time.
Posted by: Yehudit at June 21, 2007 10:54 PM
Mata Hari:
"All geographically challenged?"
I dunno about that.
Take my girlses: drop them in, say, the Gobi Desert, using just the North star they will navigate their way back to Los Angeles without breaking a sweat.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at June 22, 2007 08:09 AM
Sharon:
It was great to see you and your husband at the lecture. Old friends are a great source of comfort, especially those who hold memories of Ariel, who knew him as a child and as a young adult. May we be together only at simchas.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at June 22, 2007 08:12 AM
Yehudit:
I'm gonna go. I really am. Soon. Any day now. B'lee neder.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at June 22, 2007 08:27 AM
What a blessing to meet you, Yehudit, while honoring Ariel zt'l's memory at Young Israel and later while comparing bloggy notes at Casa Avrech.
Yours was one of the very first blogs I started reading, as well as the site where I discovered the link to Seraphic Secret.
What a blessing to meet everyone there, including the handful of bloggers I was able to speak with - even, or esp., if only for a moment.
Posted by: Jeremiah at June 22, 2007 11:11 AM
What a blessing to meet everyone there, including the handful of bloggers I was able to speak with - even, or esp., if only for a moment.
So very true.
Posted by: Jack at June 22, 2007 02:19 PM