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December 17, 2007
Ninotchka and I
“Can you tell me the origin of your name?”
I'm in a box and shipping store, sending a Chanukah gift to Offspring #2 and her husband, a large framed photo that needs to be carefully wrapped and boxed.
So: I've just filled out the paperwork and the lady behind me—Russian by her accent—has glanced at my name and posed the question.
Anya is a middle-aged lady with a pretty grim expression that seems permanently fixed to her face.
She fires questions at me, one after the other. Her hair is pulled back into a severe bun and there's not a trace of mascara, lipstick or blush on her face. Need I mention that she's wearing the most sensible shoes I have ever seen on a woman who does not live and work on a snow-bound farm in North Dakota.
“It's from the Torah: when Joseph is made a minister in Egypt he is carried through the streets and it says in Parsha Mekaytz: And they called before him: Avrech. The great medieval commentator, Rashi explains: a father in wisdom, but tender in years. ”
“Does that describe you?”
“Um...”
We continue to chat as the photo is cushioned in multiple layers of bubble wrap.
My inquisitive and quite humorless Russian friend has been in America since the late 70's.
“It was hard in the Soviet Union, huh?”
Notice my hard-hitting analysis of cold war politics. Anya looks at me the way Lenin looked at the Mensheviks. She waves her hand in the air as if brushing aside an annoying fly.
“First Hitler killed the Jews, then Stalin. If it was not one, it was the other. But you want to know when it was the best for us?”
“Tell me.”
“After the Six Day War.”
“Really, I thought things were really hard for Jews in the Soviet Union at that time.”
“Do not believe it. After Israel won the war the Russians, our enemies, looked at us with new-found respect. Goyim would come up to Jews in the streets of Moscow and congratulate us on our great victory. Let me tell you, we want the world to fear and respect the Jews, not to love us.”
“You should have a talk with Prime Minister Olmert.”
Anya growls: “Fool.”
I go: “You sound just like Greta Garbo.”
Anya tells me that she's never seen any Greta Garbo's movies. Anya tells me that she reads books. Movies are, in her opinion, a waste of time. I tell her she has to see Ninotchka and I give her a brief plot synopsis, then quote one of Garbo's great lines from the movie:
The last mass trials were a great success. There are going to be fewer but better Russians.
Anya stares at me for a long moment, then bursts into the most delightful laughter I have ever heard.
“That's what Garbo does in Ninotchka.”
“What?”
“Garbo laughs.”
“Maybe I make an exception and see this one movie.”
“Good move.”
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at December 17, 2007 10:57 AM
Comments
Seraphic Secret is private property, that's right, it's an extension of our home, and as such, Karen and I have instituted two Seraphic Rules and we ask commentors to act respectfully.
1. No profanity.2. No Israel bashing. We debate, we discuss, we are respectful. You know what Israel bashing is. The world is full of it. Seraphic Secret is one of the few places in the world that will not tolerate this form of anti-Semitism. That's it. Break either of these rules and you will be banned.
I don't know if you intended the reference, but isn't there a movie titled "Garbo Laughed"?
Posted by: Karen Avrech at December 17, 2007 03:31 PM
Karen:
Garbo Laughs was the famous ad-line used to sell Ninotchka.
Our friend Sidney Lumet directed a film called "Garbo Talks."
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.seraphicpress.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at December 17, 2007 03:41 PM
Marvelous anecdote. Frail - like most remembered snippets of conversation - as a wisp of smoke, but just as insinuating, curious, alarming. Besides, where's there's smoke....
Posted by: Jeremiah at December 17, 2007 10:20 PM
Robert,
You certainly have a knack for interesting encounters when you are out and about.
Thanks for sharing. :)
Posted by: Lance at December 17, 2007 10:31 PM
Garbo Talks...good movie...love Anne Bancroft.
I actually saw Ninontchka many years ago. But I'm old and can't remember it.
Lance is right...you do meet the most interesting people in your travels around L.A.
Posted by: cruisin-mom at December 17, 2007 10:50 PM
I haven't had much time to read, as much or as often as I would like, of late.... But BOY! am I delighted I stopped by today!
Robert, it's not just what you say -- it is how you say it! The background, the foreshadowing, the suspense, and the kicker punchline.... You are such a gifted story teller! And we are all the richer for your always being on the alert for good material!
Now tachlis.... how do we introduce Anya to Olmert?
Posted by: zahava at December 18, 2007 03:04 AM
Jeremiah:
This encounter was a real surprise. It took forever to wrap the photo, and Anya was, well, very Russian.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at December 18, 2007 09:28 AM
Lance:
When I'm out and about, is the operative phrase. Normally, I like to stay in my office, spinning my tales.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at December 18, 2007 09:32 AM
Cruisin' Mom:
Garbo made 26 movies in Hollywood, of those only Ninotchka was great, the rest were passable to wretched. She retired when her career faltered and the rest of her life was spent walking around Manhattan trying not to be recognized. She contemptuously referred to people who recognized her as "customers."
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at December 18, 2007 09:40 AM
Zahava:
Thanks so much for stopping by and, aw shucks, compliments from the lady married to the one and only Treppenwitz.
Here's how we get Anya to meet Olmert.
Easy: Get that certain Israeli journalist who just spent all that time illegally in Beirut filing those incredibly hard-hitting stories about the, er, Beirut coffee shops, Beirut night clubs, and Beirut internet cafes to write one of her signature stories about Anya and fer sure it will come to the attention of Israel's honorable PM and voila a meeting will take place.
Ya think?
Reference: http://bogieworks.blogs.com/treppenwitz/2007/12/if-a-right-wing.html
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at December 18, 2007 09:48 AM
And here I'm thinking, if only someone had produced a Japanese movie starring Greta based on each Gemara, Robert would have been an ilui... And possibly many others as well.
Love the story, and the quote from the movie. We didn't make enough fun of the Commies, did we? Not like we did with the Nazis.
Posted by: hmmm at December 18, 2007 10:37 AM
Hmmm:
Hitler absolutely hated Chaplin's The Great Dictator. It drove him crazy.
We desperately need to make movies making fun of the Muslim Jihadists.
Only problem is, my Hollywood buddies are absolutely clueless. They make movies that pour contempt on our troops and our country.
Go figure.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at December 18, 2007 11:51 AM
That's twice now (in the same day) that you have me grinning ear-to-ear!
Gosh, golly, if I thought we could actually get YKW to write the piece, I'd consider buying her airfare to LA myself! ROFLMAO!
Posted by: zahava at December 18, 2007 12:43 PM
Zahava:
Happy to make you grin.
We'll chip in for the air-fare, but round-trip. We don't want to get stuck with such a devastating analyst of, um, lattes.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at December 18, 2007 02:06 PM
Good story. The Russians have a very simple method for dealing with the Jihadists. Just look at Chechnya.
Posted by: Jack at December 18, 2007 04:25 PM
Robert, if only Mel Brooks would do such a movie (making fun of the Jihadists). He's done it about Hitler (the Producers), why not them? Actually, scratch that. He'd probably have Michael Moore & Al Gore doing a sick(o) version of "Puttin on the Ritz".
Posted by: Rachel at December 18, 2007 11:01 PM
Ain't gonna be Mel. He doesn't understand evil.
Posted by: Jeremiah at December 19, 2007 06:32 AM