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August 12, 2008

Jihad Against Sexy Fruit & Vegetables: Seriously

“Hi, I'm a secret counterterrorist agent. Robert is writing a
screenplay about my thrilling adventures fighting Islamo Fruit Nazis.”

A few observations;

1. We will be told that the barbaric edicts imposed by the Taliban have nothing to do with Islam. Apologists for Islamic terror will assure us that Islam is being “hijacked” by a fringe group who do not represent true Islam. Once again we will be browbeaten with the comforting narrative that moderate Muslims decry this latest Islamic atrocity.

2. To which we reply: If being a moderate Muslim is characterized by total silence and an absence of action against totalitarian Islam, well, these are most certainly not moderate Muslims. Rather, they are enablers of terror, akin to the German civilians who silently stood by and allowed genocide against the Jews.

3. We wait for Western feminists to rise in righteous anger and denounce the Islamo Nazis who proudly commit honor killings, and child-rape. Clitorectomies are widespread in the Muslim world as is the inferior status of women in matters of marriage, divorce and inheritance. The Islamic world wallows in the forced segregation of women. It's a culture designed to make women dependant on men for simple, every day activities.

4. But we know this will not happen. Western feminists, like those who steer Ms. magazine, are far too busy attacking Israel, kvetching about the failed candidacy of Hillary Clinton, painting President Bush as a war criminal, and agitating for the right to slaughter infants in the womb.

5. Yup, Western feminists do have their priorities.

Besides the terrible killings inflicted by the fanatics on those who refuse to pledge allegiance to them, Al-Qa'eda has lost credibility for enforcing a series of rules imposing their way of thought on the most mundane aspects of everyday life.

They include a ban on women buying suggestively shaped vegetables, according to one tribal leader in the western province of Anbar.

Sheikh Hameed al-Hayyes, a Sunni elder, told Reuters: "They even killed female goats because their private parts were not covered and their tails were pointed upward, which they said was haram.

“I only look like a cucumber. Actually, I'm a Method
actor, trained by Stanislavsky.”

"They regarded the cucumber as male and tomato as female. Women were not allowed to buy cucumbers, only men."

Other farcical stipulations include an edict not to buy or sell ice-cream, because it did not exist in the time of the Prophet, while hair salons and shops selling cosmetics have also been bombed.

Most seriously, Sheikh al-Hayyes said: "I saw them slaughter a nine-year old boy like a sheep because his family didn't pledge allegiance to them."

Please sign our petition pleading for the life of this young
woman, about to be executed for un-Islamic behavior.

Such tactics have triggered a backlash among Sunnis, whom Al-Q'aeda had claimed to be protecting, the sheikh and military leaders said.

Lieutenant-Colonel Tim Albers, an American intelligence officer, told the news agency: "Al-Qa'eda's very heavy-handed killing of civilians backfired on them. The Sunnis just wouldn't stand for it any more.

"The self-described protectors of the Sunni community now kill more Iraqi Sunnis than anyone else."

Original article here.

Hat Tip: Seraphic Friend, David Paulin

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at August 12, 2008 01:16 AM

Comments

Seraphic Secret is private property, that's right, it's an extension of our home, and as such, Karen and I have instituted two Seraphic Rules and we ask commentors to act respectfully.

1. No profanity.

2. No Israel bashing. We debate, we discuss, we are respectful. You know what Israel bashing is. The world is full of it. Seraphic Secret is one of the few places in the world that will not tolerate this form of anti-Semitism.

That's it. Break either of these rules and you will be banned.

Now I know why my husband spends so much time choosing grapefruits. Who knew?

Posted by: Alice at August 12, 2008 03:37 PM

Great comment Alice. I laughed out loud.

It really is ridiculous, but so pathetically sad that they try to subjugate people this way and take away every last drop of enjoyment in life. Sexy vegetables! I mean, really!

Posted by: mata hari at August 12, 2008 04:00 PM

I'm sorry, I just can't believe that article. Nobody kills ewes for lifting their tails without knowing that they are admitting to serious sexual abberation. And the thing about the cucumbers is too absurd even for Monty Python. So men can't buy peaches? Or, whoa, how 'bout them pears... I'm serious; I think it is a hoax, and I don't know why anyone would need to make up silly stories when reality is crazy enough.

Posted by: Barzilai at August 12, 2008 07:57 PM

So men can't buy peaches?

It's not the men who are the problem, silly. It's those ee-hee-vul women.

Posted by: kishke at August 13, 2008 07:28 AM

Alice:

I also LOL.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at August 13, 2008 08:30 AM

Hey - isn't that a zucchini?

Posted by: alterbentzion at August 13, 2008 08:31 AM

Mata Hari:

I believe the Taliban are capable of cruelties you and I could not even imagine.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at August 13, 2008 08:32 AM

Barzilai:

I hope you're right. But these people are evil, and evil recognizes no boundaries.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at August 13, 2008 08:34 AM

Kishke:

Quite right, the Taliban wage a vicious, ongoing war against women.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at August 13, 2008 08:37 AM

Alterbenzion:

The acting is so good I can't even tell. Actually, I have a vegetable and fruit food-naming disability. Ask Karen or the girlses, at meal time I say things like: "Pass the green thing, pass the orange thing."

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at August 13, 2008 08:40 AM

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