Seraphic Secret: September 2008 Archives

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September 29, 2008

Seraphic Secret's Secret Sofer

The secret sofer, scribe, working on a Torah.

And you shall write [the words that I command you today] on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

—Deuteronomy 6:9, 11:19

So Karen says that it's time to check the mezuzahs in the house. The halacha, Jewish law, teaches us that the lettering of the prayer, “Shema Yisroel...” Hear O Israel, on the parchment, has to be clear of all blemishes, the lettering perfectly legible with absolutely no mistakes.

It's vital to make sure that the mezuzahs are still kosher for changes in weather and the natural aging of the klaf, parchment, can crack and smudges the ink thereby invalidating the mezuzah.

It's best to have a qualified sofer, scribe, check the mezuzahs.

Mezuzot are required on every doorway that serve as an entrance and exit to your permanent home—save the bathroom. We have mezuzot on the arch of the courtyard and the front door. Even the entrance to our garages is slotted with mezuzot.

It takes us about an hour to remove all the mezuzot from the doorways and arches.

Yesterday afternoon, we dropped off the mezuzot with our sofer— a pious, low-key gentleman whose work is trustworthy and meticulous.

The handwritten prayer, “Hear O' Israel the Lord Our Lord, the Lord is One,” on parchment inside the Mezuzah housing.

This morning, picking up the mezuzot our sofer says: “Two of the mezuzot are pasul.” Not kosher. And he rolls open twin parchment rectangles and shows me where one letter on each klaf is indistinct.

All in all, that's not bad for twenty mezuzot.

Anyway, not only is our sofer a fine and pious man, but he's a stalwart Republican. I confess to getting all warm and fuzzy as he works on a Torah with a McCain-Palin yarmulke—in English and Hebrew—sitting on his head.

I can't help but feel that our sofer's holy labors with the Republican ticket atop makes for a powerful and synergistic combination.

*******

And finally, let's take six minutes to prepare yourselves for Rosh HaShanah. The titles that appear on-screen are the words to the Rosh HaShanah prayer chanted over the soundtrack.

Karen and I wish all or friends a Shana Tova U'mtukah, a good and sweet year.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 01:13 PM | Comments (6)

September 28, 2008

Republican Yarmulkes: Sign of the Times

Who says our yarmulkes have to be yeshivish black velvet or the more modern knit jobs known as kepah s'ruga.

The new, must-have fashion items are cooly Conservative, colorful discsthat proudly stake out their side of the aisle with all the force of a shofar on steroids.

Here are four new designs that find inspiration in proud political slogans mixed with the joy of English and Yiddish.

These yarmulkes are also a sign of the times.

The days of Jews as default, lever-pulling, lobotomized Democrats are o-ver. Gone. Finished. End of the road.

Order your favorite yarmulkes at Vanity Kippah.

Hat Tip: Dr. Peter Stevenson

And from Jeff Jacoby via Wolf Howling, a few words of truth—in short supply these days—regarding the current financial crisis, Massachusetts Democrat Barney Frank , and the liberal insistence on affirmative action housing. It all goes back to the most wretched president of these United States, Jimmy "Jihad" Carter.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:48 PM | Comments (13)

Best of the Jewish Blogosphere #184

“Okay, ladies, let's get out there and devour the latest Haveil Havalim.”

Haveil Havalim # 184 The Barbarian Roars Again is up and live.

We'd like to thank The Barbarian—who seems quite civilized—for including two Seraphic Secret posts:

Israeli War Hero Meets Sarah Palin, and our analysis of Islamic Fanatics and their Democrat Enablers.

And this from our fearless Haveil Havalim leader, Jack:

We'd also like to make you aware of a new group that was formed on Facebook, Haveil Havalim- The Best Of The Jewish/Israeli Blogosphere. It is a place that we are going to use to help promote the Jblogosphere as a whole. We are currently discussing whether we are going to include the Jblogosphere carnivals there.

In addition it is going to serve as a central location that you can use to discuss thoughts and ideas for projects that are of interest to us all.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:37 AM | Comments (2)

September 27, 2008

Paul Newman 1925 - 2008

A moment of silence for Paul Newman, a great actor, a great star, and a good man.

My friend John Nolte has written a fine obituary for the legendary actor here at Pajamas Media.

Let's watch one of Paul Newman's greatest moments from The Hustler, 1961, The Final Game.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:31 PM | Comments (16)

September 26, 2008

Seraphic Book of A,B,C

I like to take snapshots of doorways, interesting geometric patterns, my girlses footwear—and signs.

I love signs.

Signs and billboards serve to announce commerce, civic commands, information, and geography. The best of them are finely crafted art. Most often signs are, um, signs of the times indicating trends in fashion and the changing face of advertising.

Signs are also, as Proust would say, a remembrance of things past, precious time capsules, for stores go out of business, famous advertising slogans sink into obscurity, company logos evolve, and popular type fonts—remember the ubiquitous Helvetica?—disappear with alarming speed.

A few years ago, Offsprings #2, and #3 suggested that we create an alphabet book by using the first letters of every sign. It became a family activity. Some letters are easy to find: B, C, D and S are a dime a dozen. Q is pretty darn rare. X is precious as gold, and so refusing to default to the dreary Xerox, we cheated, inventing our own artful X.

Here then is one of our ABC books.

Enjoy!

Karen and I wish all our friends a peaceful and spiritually rewarding Shabbat.

And as we prepare to welcome 5769, we hope that all of your prayers be fulfilled. L'Shana Tova.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:40 AM | Comments (16)

September 25, 2008

Shirley Temple Shoots Eleanor Roosevelt

Shirley Temple, at the height of her fame.

In 1936, child star Shirley Temple created the Shirley Temple Police Force and minted the official Shirley Temple Badge. Little Shirley awarded the precious badges to friends, kings, queens, presidents, and to Mrs. Eleanor Roosevelt.

Attending a picnic at Val Kill, the 180-acre Roosevelt family estate near Hyde Park, Shirley noticed that Mrs. Roosevelt was not wearing the official Shirley Temple badge.

Shirley Temple Black remembers the incident in her excellent memoir, Child Star:

“Where is your Shirley Temple badge?” I asked casually. Everyone had to keep their badge nearby, I said and reached in my purse to show her mine.

Here was a serious problem. My force was no joke and the badges no everyday souvenir... Mrs. Roosevelt had gotten me in a fine pickle.

Standing back from the fire, our hostess had to reach far forward with her fork to turn our chops, and when she did her sundress hiked up in the back. The target was irresistible, the range only a few paces, and the badge fiasco still rankled me. Edging backward a step, I slowly stooped and picked up a small rounded pebble. The slingshot was easy to slip out of my lace purse. Everyone was watching her, not me. Taking a quick sight along the fully extended elastic bands, I let fly. Bulls-eye!

Mrs. Roosevelt straightened with a jerk, holding her long-handled barbecue fork thrust upward like the Statue of Liberty. With the other hand she reached around in back and smoothed her dress over the target area. She never even glanced over her shoulder.

Nobody mentioned anything about the pebble during the rest of our visit, and even I had almost forgotten about it when the door of our New York hotel clicked behind us. But not mother, who had seen it all. Brattish, she said. Quickly crossing the room, she spun me around and slapped me hard on the bottom, right where I had hit Mrs. Roosevelt.

“See how you like it,” she scolded, and slammed the bathroom door behind her. My first physical punishment since babyhood spanking, it left me feeling younger, not older as I wished. Yet I had no regret. Mine was in defense of a worthwhile, moneymaking organization, in support of its rules, and to rebut a challenge to my authority. Nobody seemed to understand this, except me.

Mrs. Roosevelt and Shirley Temple. Mrs. Roosevelt never mentioned the sling-shot incident.

Thanks so much to journalist, blogger and friend Chayyei Sarah for asking me to research and write about Shirley Temple. There will be more blogs about the great child star for her extraordinary life and career are endlessly fascinating.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:56 AM | Comments (16)

September 24, 2008

Obama and Terrorist Bill Ayres

Terrorist and Obama supporter
Bill Ayres tramples the American flag.

Character and judgment are important, in ordinary citizens, and of course for the man who holds the office of President of the United States and Commander in Chief.

Thus, it's important to explore Barack Obama's history.

Barack Obama seems more than comfortable with Pentagon bombers Bill Ayres, and Bernardine Dorn. Obama was also more than cozy with Jeremiah Wright, a hater of America and an anti-Semite. Cozy until his polls started to slip. There's also Father Pfleger, a Catholic priest so far left he makes Stalin look conservative. And let's not forget Tony Rezko, a crook, another close associate of Obama.

If John McCain cultivated such vile associates, especially the racist Jeremiah Wright, his career would be over in a N.Y. minute.

And properly so.

But Obama gets a pass.

I suppose that's what's known as affirmative action.

Stanley Kurtz is starting to get to the bottom of the Obama-Ayres connection. Do not expect the dinosaur media to breathe a word of this. They are too busy sliming Sarah Palin.

Despite having authored two autobiographies, Barack Obama has never written about his most important executive experience. From 1995 to 1999, he led an education foundation called the Chicago Annenberg Challenge (CAC), and remained on the board until 2001. The group poured more than $100 million into the hands of community organizers and radical education activists.

The CAC was the brainchild of Bill Ayers, a founder of the Weather Underground in the 1960s. Among other feats, Mr. Ayers and his cohorts bombed the Pentagon, and he has never expressed regret for his actions. Barack Obama's first run for the Illinois State Senate was launched at a 1995 gathering at Mr. Ayers's home.

The Obama campaign has struggled to downplay that association. Last April, Sen. Obama dismissed Mr. Ayers as just "a guy who lives in my neighborhood," and "not somebody who I exchange ideas with on a regular basis." Yet documents in the CAC archives make clear that Mr. Ayers and Mr. Obama were partners in the CAC. Those archives are housed in the Richard J. Daley Library at the University of Illinois at Chicago and I've recently spent days looking through them.

To read the complete Wall Street Journal article, please click here.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 10:19 AM | Comments (9)

September 23, 2008

The Fanatics of Islam and their Democrat Enablers

Iran represents a self-proclaimed existential threat to the state of Israel and a regional danger to the Gulf Sunni states. Iran has been murdering Americans and Jews for over thirty years. Armed with a nuclear weapon Iran would tip the balance of power in the Middle East and bring this genocidal state one step closer to achieving her strategic goal: a world without Israel.

Why Fanatics are Fanatics

There are some who believe, with messianic fervor, that high-level diplomatic negotiations along with tough international sanctions, will convince the Islamic Republic of Iran to give up her nuclear ambitions.

This belief represents the voice of enlightenment, the notion that reason is the ultimate arbiter of human behavior.

Unfortunately, when dealing with fanatics, nothing could be further from the truth.

Fanatics reject reason; that's why they are fanatics. The fanatic believes that reason is—follow me here—unreasonable.

The fanatic acts with unrestrained aggression because history—the history of Islam—indicates that religious fanatacism triumphs against the forces of reasoned thought and debate.

Islam, let us not forget, was spread through the merciless application of violence and carefully modulated social repression.

Thus Jihad: a ruthless imperial and expansionist philosophy.

Islam does not recognize national borders, only the community of Islam, therefore the Westphalian Treaty designed to protect the territorial integrity of nation-states is a non-issue for the fanatic mind-set of Islam. That's why the Hamas Covenant states that their objective is the destruction of the “Zionist entity” to be replaced, not by a Palestinian state, but by a greater Islamic community.

The Terror Playbook

Let's glance at some outtakes from the Hamas Covenant, an ideological, tactical and strategic playbook to which the terrorist organization rigidly adheres.

“Israel will exist and will continue to exist until Islam will obliterate it, just as it obliterated others before it.” (The Martyr, Imam Hassan al-Banna, of blessed memory).

This Covenant of the Islamic Resistance Movement (HAMAS), clarifies its picture, reveals its identity, outlines its stand, explains its aims, speaks about its hopes, and calls for its support, adoption and joining its ranks. Our struggle against the Jews is very great and very serious. It needs all sincere efforts. It is a step that inevitably should be followed by other steps. The Movement is but one squadron that should be supported by more and more squadrons from this vast Arab and Islamic world, until the enemy is vanquished and Allah's victory is realised.

The Islamic Resistance Movement believes that the land of Palestine is an Islamic Waqf consecrated for future Moslem generations until Judgement Day. It, or any part of it, should not be squandered: it, or any part of it, should not be given up. Neither a single Arab country nor all Arab countries, neither any king or president, nor all the kings and presidents, neither any organization nor all of them, be they Palestinian or Arab, possess the right to do that. Palestine is an Islamic Waqf land consecrated for Moslem generations until Judgement Day.

There are few differences between Hamas and Iran. And let's not forget that Hizbullah is an Iranian proxie embedded in Lebanon, Gaza, with sleeper cells in Europe, Africa, Canada and America.

Time on Their Side

And though Iran seems to be just another nation-state, albeit a totalitarian state, the Persian ruling class, the clergy, view their current Islamic republic as a stepping stone to the creation of a much larger transnational Islamic community, where Sharia rules and all other nation states cease to exist.

No amount of reasoned debate can shake this mind-set. Carrot and stick diplomacy only rewards the fanatics with even more time in which to weaponize their nuclear arsenal.

And when dealing with terrorists, time is always on their side. In fact, tactically it's a most precious commodity.

Cease-fire, Cease to Exist

That's why the cease-fire Israel accepted from Hamas in Gaza only strengthens the Islamic terrorists for time allows them to import more weapons, build more sophisticated bunkers, train more terrorists, and prepare their massive arsenal of long and short-range missiles for the moment when the cease-fire ends.

In the Art of War Sun Tzu cautions: “Know your enemy.”

Not recognizing Sun Tzu's simple but brilliant dictum, Israel embraces a form of national suicide.

It's a bitter pill for good and well-intentioned people to swallow, the notion that fanatical belief systems animate national destiny. In the West we have been taught that reason and the desire for peace motivates modern man because, presumably, logic and self-interest benefit all mankind.

But the Islamic fanatic sees reason as a weakness to be exploited. Thus, Israel expels 10,000 Jews from their homes in Gaza under the “reasonable” assumption that this gesture will convince the Arabs and the entire world that Israel genuinely desires peace. But creating Judenrein zones—the definition of apartheid—only legitimizes the fanatic Islamic belief that no place on earth should be safe for Jews.

Tragically, the chattering classes in Israel and the West do not understand that the collective fanatics of the Islamic world view the expulsion as further proof that terror works, proof that jihad—a religious cover for unrestrained terror—is highly effective.

The fanatic knows that when reason meets the fanatic, reason collapses into a cocoon of appeasement and surrender. The fanatic can read the mind-set of the “enlightened” Western, but the mind of the Islamic fanatic is incomprehensible to the rational liberal mind. Thus, the liberal West is always at a grave disadvantage.

For the Islamic fanatic, there is no downside to being a fanatic in the war against Israel, the Jewish people, Christians, and the West.

It works.

The Not So Jewish Democrats

Against this backdrop, we should all—Democrats, Republicans and Independents—rally together to voice opposition to the current genocidal Persian regime.

But when Governor Palin—who has more spine than the entire Democratic ticket— was disinvited to yesterday's U.N. rally, under intense pressure from various Jewish Democrats, this indicates a level of, well, fanatacism that is frightening and revolting, and signals that the Democrats have no interest in worthy bi-partisan efforts.

Even when it comes to a rogue nation that has repeatedly stated their intention to wipe Israel off the face of the earth.

And as far as having the courage and resolve to fight and defeat transnational terrorism, I think it's pretty clear by now that Obama is only comfortable when he's fighting women: Hillary and Sarah.

I could be cynical and celebrate the kapo-like behavior of the Democrats for I am certain that this disgraceful chapter will flip significant numbers of voters—especially Jewish Democrats—to the Republican side.

In fact, the latest polls show a tectonic shift by traditional Jewish Democrats to the McCain-Palin ticket.

But such a cold-blooded calculation feels like a phyrric victory.

Putting on Their Kapo Caps

The mighty Caroline Glick details which fanatic Jewish Democrats put on their kapo caps and placed partisan politics above the Persian-Islamic-Nuclear threat. We are not surprised at the names which have surfaced. As any good screenwriter knows, characters must be consistent in order to be effective and the Democrats who agitated for Palin's disinvite are the usual suspects.

The moment that [Hillary] Clinton found out that she was to share a stage with Palin, she cancelled her appearance. By cancelling, she signaled to Jewish Democrats — and Democrats in general — that opposing Palin and the Republican Party is more important than opposing Ahmadinejad and the genocidal regime he represents.

The Jewish Democrats on the rally's organizing committee got the message loud and clear. Two of the rally's co-sponsors — the Jewish Council for Public Affairs and the UJA Federation of New York demanded that the Conference of Presidents of Major Jewish Organizations disinvite Palin.

The JCPA is led by Steven Gutow. Before joining the JCPA, he served as the founding executive director of the National Jewish Democratic Council, which is the Jewish support arm of the Democratic Party. The UJA Federation of New York is led by John Ruskay, who began his Jewish communal career as an anti-Israel "peace" activist in the radical CONAME and Breira organizations. Among their other endeavors, CONAME and Breira opposed US military assistance to Israel during the Yom Kippur War and called for US recognition of the PLO after the group massacred 26 children in Ma'alot in 1974.

Gutow and Ruskay were supported in their demand to disinvite Palin by the National Jewish Democratic Council and by the new Jewish pro-Palestinian lobbying group J-Street.

To read the entire article, please click here.

FADE TO BLACK

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 07:53 AM | Comments (8)

September 22, 2008

Israeli War Hero Meets Sarah Palin

A fine and informative article by my good friend David Suissa, an authentic advertising genius, and the man the Israeli Ministry of Tourism should have hired to create their new advertising campaign designed to “brand” Israel.

Gov. Sarah Palin with Israeli war hero and filmmaker,
Elan Frank. Photo courtesy Elan Frank.

I was visiting with a friend and Israeli war hero the other day, a guy with great stories named Elan Frank, and all we could talk about was Sarah Palin.

Let me explain. Frank was awarded the Medal of Honor in 1982 after he rescued 25 Israeli soldiers caught in a nighttime terrorist ambush deep inside Lebanon. The conditions were so risky that Frank's co-pilot suggested they abort the mission. Frank ignored the advice, and under intense enemy fire, he made a daredevil 360 degree move to speed up the helicopter's landing and rescue the troops.

That was 26 years ago. Now Frank is a busy filmmaker.

Earlier this year, he called the office of the governor of Alaska to ask permission to shoot Sarah Palin for his new film, a documentary about powerful women of the world. Because he had spent a lot of time in Alaska, he'd heard about the feisty Palin and thought she'd be a natural.

Well, guess what? She said yes.

To read the complete story, please click here.

“He Must Be Stopped”

Governor Sarah Palin, the Republican nominee for vice president, was scheduled to speak today at a rally in Dag Hammarskjold Plaza to protest the appearance of Holocaust denying President Ahmadinejad of Iran. Her appearance was canceled by rally organizers seeking to appease the partisan Obama Democrats who declined to share a platform with Governor Palin. So much for the alleged bi-partisan support of Israel. Clearly, the Democrats see Governor Palin as existentially more dangerous than a nuclear-armed Persia.

Governor Sarah Palin:

I am honored to be with you and with leaders from across this great country — leaders from different faiths and political parties united in a single voice of outrage.

Tomorrow, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will come to New York — to the heart of what he calls the Great Satan — and speak freely in this, a country whose demise he has called for.

Ahmadinejad may choose his words carefully, but underneath all of the rhetoric is an agenda that threatens all who seek a safer and freer world. We gather here today to highlight the Iranian dictator's intentions and to call for action to thwart him.

He must be stopped.

Click here for the entire speech Governor Palin would have given.

And Wolf Howling analyzes the verbal pogroms being directed at the McCain-Palin ticket, not just by the Obama campaign, but with the shameless assistance of the arch leftist mainstream media.

Sarah Palin: Jew

Has anyone noticed that the rabid smears directed against Governor Palin bear a striking resemblance to the language and strategy used from time immemorial by Jew-haters?

Governor Palin is accused, on the one hand, of being a sneaky, and darkly manipulative executive. And in the next breath she's accused of being stupid and without executive experience or managerial skills.

She's labeled a small-town hick whose supporters are hillbilly trash, and at the same time she's portrayed as a ruthless and sophisticated technocrat who routinely subverts the rule of law.

And of course, the latest attack from a respected Democrat, the charge that Governor Palin is disabled.

These irrational charges and tactics are typical of anti-Semitic rhetoric.

And then there's the sexual, pornographic angle. Governor Palin has been characterized as a sexy Barbie doll, as looking like a porn actress. In the next breath, she's accused of being frigid, like the Alaskan tundra.

These toxic, psychosexual attacks—voiced by people deeply conflicted over their sexuality—were a major part of the Nazi propaganda arsenal, and are currently a staple of the Islamic world, where Jews are viewed as hopelessly corrupt, defilers of pure Islamic youth.

Perhaps, the most infamous smears come from the Jewish left. Actually, their religion is the Democratic party, not the Torah. As soon as Governor Palin was announced for the VP spot, J-Street—Soccer Dad has rightly commented that this organization exists to make anti-Israel ideology legitimate—announced that the choice of Sarah Palin was an insult to the Jewish people. Of course, this mendacious charge has no grounding in reality; all the evidence indicates that Governor Sarah Palin is a strong supporter of Israel and has been a warm friend to the Jews of Alaska.

The pattern is clear: the charges hurled at Governor Palin are false, verbal pogroms layered with grim, conspiratorial theories.

Thus, the Obamacrats have transformed Sarah Palin into the despised Jew.

And for those who claim that the attacks against Governor Palin are confined to an unimportant fringe, it's been revealed that David Axelrod, Obama's campaign manager, is orchestrating a ruthless and illegal internet smear job, called astro turfing.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 06:08 AM | Comments (16)

September 21, 2008

Best of the Jewish Blogosphere #183

Buster Keaton says: “I'd dive to the bottom of the ocean to read
Haveil Havalim.”

Haveil Havalim #183, The Lost But Found Again Edition, is live.

This week, the best of the Jewish Blogosphere is hosted by none other than our fearless leader, Jack.

We'd like to thank Jack for including Seraphic Secret's The Hacking of Sarah Palin, and Peace Now Activist No Longer.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 07:32 AM | Comments (2)

September 19, 2008

Meet the Seraphic Secret Girlses From a Distinctly but Purposefully Skewed Angle

Several years ago, spotting a soft-focus Kodak moment, I whipped out my trusty Canon and focused on one of my girlses.

“No, don't shoot me, I look horrible!”

What's going on here, I thought to myself, am I on a film set, dealing with some high-strung movie star?

This happened again and again with Offsprings #2, #3, and Karen. In spite of the fact that all my girlses are devastatingly beautiful and always camera-ready.

But try arguing with a woman who feels less than perfect.

One day, feeling deeply frustrated when one of my girlses ordered me not to trip the shutter, I cried:

“Okay, I won't shoot your face. Is it okay for me to shoot your, er, shoes?”

There was a long pause.

“Um, o-kaaay, I guess.”

Thus began the Avrech family portfolio of my girlses footwear. Shooting shoes has become something of a minhag, a tradition, around here.

“I've got a new pair of shoes, Daddy.”

“Excellent, let me get my camera.”

Snick! Snick! Snick!

“Oh, by the way, how much did they cost?”

“Not to worry, I got them on sale. We've been brought up properly.”

There are, I kid you not, hundreds of photos in our wild and wacky album, and gee, what a shock, hundreds of different styles of footwear.

Memo to Men: Girls love footwear; think of it as a permanent mood disorder—on steroids.

And finally, a heartfelt observation. In these snapshots of my glorious girlses posing proudly in their footwear, I detect tectonic shifts in self-expression and gradually maturing tastes. The pictures brim with subtle feelings. In fact, for yours truly, these faceless photos reveal the delicate arc and architecture of my girlses emotional lives.

Every photo is a window into a specific moment of time, and a timeless record of overflowing femininity.

Offspring #3 going through her endearing and most girlie tom-boy phase.

Karen's black leather boots are made for walking. And when she wears them I feel like saluting.

Offspring #3 in sheepskin lined Ugs. Perfect for the frigid
Los Angeles winters.

Adorable red-bowed flats for Offspring#2. These shoes definitely have that carefree, Gidget vibe.

On our way to a shul dinner, Karen glams it up with aerodynamic, Italian suede stilettos.

Offspring #3 feels bouncy and optimistic in Offspring #2's delicately flowered ballet flats. The girlses invariably share the most desirable of the footwear.

I take my camera everywhere. Even when Karen and I go shopping at a kitchen supply store in Culver City.

Karen and I wish all our friends a lovely and restful Shabbat.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 04:23 AM | Comments (28)

September 18, 2008

Outrage: Palin Disinvited to UN Iranian Protest

"Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadenijad has been quite clear of his intentions to acquire nuclear weapons; his anti-Semitic rants and desire to annihilate Israel are well-known. Today Senators Obama and Biden and their supporters have handed Ahmadenijad a big win. What should have been a strong effort by the Jewish community to stand up and show the world that we are united in our fight against this madman has instead been hijacked by those with a political agenda. This is a very sad day for the Jewish community.

“We are extremely disappointed that in response to political pressure from partisan organizations, Governor Palin has been disinvited to the "Stop Iran" rally. In addition, we are disappointed that neither Senator Obama nor Senator Biden chose to participate in this important event. Yet again they have missed an opportunity to stand up to Iran and have their voices heard. This is but another example of why Senator Obama continues to have a problem in the Jewish community," said Brooks. "In the more than 20 years I have worked in the Jewish community, this is one of the biggest black marks on our community that I can remember. That we can't put partisan differences aside to come together on something as important as this is absolutely outrageous. It is sad and disappointing."

— Republican Jewish Coalition (RJC) Executive Director Matt Brooks

The Jewish, ahem, leaders, who disinvited Governor Palin should be ashamed. They are without honor, without wisdom. It was Senator Clinton who made this a partisan issue when she refused to appear at the U.N. rally alongside Governor Palin.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the Obama machine pressured Hillary not show. She only looks small and petty in this entire affair. And of course, Obama could not care less. His fear and hatred of the Clinton's is well known.

But let's be clear, that's how Obama and the ruthless forces who pull his strings do business, strong-arm Chicago style.

And this indicates how much Obama and his handlers understand or care about the Persian nuclear threat to Israel and the entire region.

They care far more about partisan politics than Israel's' survival.

Please see Soccer Dad's excellent analysis of this latest outrage from the Democrats.

And don't miss Wolf Howling's trenchant observations on the Palin Disinvite and the unhinged left.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 06:53 PM | Comments (6)

Dietrich Notices Streisand's Nose

Maria Riva's biography of her mother Marlene Dietrich is refreshingly honest
and beautifully written.

One of the most fascinating Hollywood biographies was written by Maria Riva, Marlene Dietrich's daughter. Riva's book reveals a monstrously self-absorbed woman whose every moment was devoted to the glamorous Dietrich image, and perpetuating the legend of a noble and selfless woman.

Riva's book overflows with telling details about Dietrich's obsession with her own beauty; when shooting a film, Dietrich positioned a full-length mirror beside the camera so she could keep an eye on herself. Dietrich's knowledge of lighting and camera were often more sophisticated than the cameramen and directors with whom she she worked. Her face was a living canvas on which Dietrich labored for perfection. If you look closely at her movies of the 40's, when she was no longer working with Joseph von Sternberg—real name Jonas Sternberg—you can, on occasion, see the white line Dietrich inscribed down her nose to give it a more streamlined appearance.

When looking at rushes for the wretched Kismet, 1944, Dietrich demanded to know from the legendary cameraman Charles Rosher why she wasn't looking as young as before.

In response, Rosher deadpanned: “Well Marlene, I am ten years older.”

Taking no prisoners, Riva lists many of Dietrich's lovers. There were hundreds for Dietrich was incapable of genuine love—she was a classic narcissist—and considered it her sacred and civic duty to seduce most everyone, male and female, in her path.

When John Wayne declined her advances, Dietrich flew into a rage. How dare this stupid American cowboy reject the great Dietrich. She never forgave Duke. This was a woman who marinated in her life-long grudges.

There are laugh-out-loud passages where Dietrich, often buzzing on a Dexedrine-fueled high, delivers biting monologues on the actors and actresses she holds in contempt for their hideous looks or vulgar fashion sense.

In one amusing passage, she's preparing her wardrobe with the great Paramount designer Travis Banton for The Devil is a Woman 1935. Dietrich has just returned from New York where she attended the Ziegfeld Follies and saw Fanny Brice—real name Fania Borach.

“Those girls of his [Ziegfeld] are very pretty! But much too tall for women—must be men. And those things they have to carry, strapped to their heads! I was frightened they were going to fall down all those stairs! Don't you think that whole to-do is a bit exaggerated? For the screen, I can understand, but on stage? It looks like a circus... and that ugly woman. Fanny Brice! What is she doing with those beautiful Ziegfeld show girls? No one can be that ugly! No one can allow themselves to go around with a nose like that and then sing! Travis, do you know where that accent of hers comes from? There is no country in the world that has an accent like that. What is that?”

Travis was laughing.

“I think it comes from a part of New York called the Bronx.”

“I don't believe it! And she keeps it?”

Thirty-three years later, I was with my mother when she saw Barbra Streisand play Fanny Brice in Funny Girl. In the dark movie house, Dietrich's voice rose, clear and distinct above the film's sound track.

“Well, she certainly has the nose for it!”

Fanny Brice, her Bronx accent and prominent nose offended Dietrich's
aesthetic sense.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:37 AM | Comments (4)

September 17, 2008

The Hacking of Sarah Palin

The Lipstick Brigade: not welcome at Barbra Streisand's bash.

A left wing group has hacked Sarah Palin's private e-mail account, and published the contents on-line, including private family photos.

This is the totalitarian left at work.

This is what they will do to acquire power.

Imagine what the left will do if they gain power.

These are people with no sense of honor or decency.

The Democrats realize, deep in their guts, that Sarah Palin signals a tectonic shift in this presidential race. And liberals cannot tolerate that this fine and gutsy woman is an anti-abortion Republican who supports Israel, and does not pay lip service to moral equivalence.

The war against Governor Sarah Palin will go down as the most disgraceful and thuggish in American political history.

One cannot excuse this act as being outside the bounds of liberal ideology for the MSM have been attacking Governor Palin, with unrelenting savagery, since the first moment she appeared on the national scene.

As I wrote earlier, it will get worse. But Governor Palin can take it, she's tough and resilient. And we are already seeing a backlash among voters who deeply resent the hit jobs on a woman with whom so many in the heartland identify.

This salient fact still remains: Obama spent over 20-years as a proud member of a racist, America-hating, Jew-hating church. A church that honored Jew-hater Louis Farrakhan. A Church that preaches a so-called liberation theology that if espoused by white people, would be denounced by all decent citizens.

Question: Where were all the outraged liberals when these facts were revealed.

Answer: Like reliable, old time Stalinists, they were making excuses for the inexcusable.

But for Governor Sarah Palin, the hatred and poison are unrelenting.

Let's be honest, if a white politician was a member of an equivalent white racist church, his career would be finished. And properly so.

But Obama, and the entire congregation get a pass because liberals are, at the core, racists. They do not hold blacks to the same ethical and intellectual standards as whites.

In short, Democrats and their enablers in the media believe that hatred of whites, hatred of America, hatred of Jews and Israel are, well, just trivial details.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 03:32 PM | Comments (12)

Dear Mr. Obama: Economics 101

Hat Tip: Joshua Pundit

And our articulate friend Wolf Howling continues Eco 101 by explaining that the current financial crisis is a direct result of President Clinton's policies and Democratic big government ideology.

We are in a fiscal crisis today largely because of the sub-prime lending crisis. At the intersection of the crisis is Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and Democratic politics. It was Bill Clinton who set this time bomb in motion by forcing lenders into the sub-prime market. It was Clinton who used Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac as the center pieces of his strategy to extend home loans to marginal borrowers, largely minorities. And it has been largely Democratic lawmakers who have protected the scheme over Republican and Bush administration efforts to reign it in over the past eight years.

To read the entire article, please click here.

And my good friend Jeremayakova has a conversation about Sarah Palin with a resident of Wasilla, Alaska. Truly illuminating.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:47 AM | Comments (10)

The Angels of The City of Angels

Cruisin' Mom, my shooting buddy, says: It's not often that death and destruction comes to your own back yard...

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 07:52 AM | Comments (0)

September 16, 2008

The Wisdom of Joe Biden

"Israel will have to reconcile itself with the nuclearization of Iran."

—Democratic vice-presidential candidate Joseph Biden, quoted by Israel Army Radio Monday, Sept. 1, 2008

Hat Tip: Israel Insider

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:28 PM | Comments (9)

Obama and American Terrorist Bill Ayres

Sarah Palin and John McCain are being slimed by the mainstream media at every turn. Charles Gibson's condescending interview with Governor Palin is only a glimpse of things to come. Except for Fox's Bill O'Reilly, we're still waiting for MSM journalists to interview Obama with anything approaching vigor.

And we're still waiting for BO to accept John McCain's invitation to debate in town hall meetings.

We will wait 'till hell freezes over for Obama's handlers understand quite clearly that their man, without a teleprompter, is incoherent.

And let's not forget Barack Obama's unsavory associations with the shady financier Tony Rezko, the Jew and America hating Jeremiah Wright, and American terrorist Bill Ayres. These inconvenient facts are either ignored or tacitly excused by, um, progressives.

Let's roll the videotape and take a look at Obama's friends and political supporters:

And we already have reports of election fraud from you-know-who.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 10:21 AM | Comments (16)

September 15, 2008

Peace Now Activist No Longer

Yuval Steinitz at the Jerusalem Post offices.
Photo: Ariel Jerozolimski

It's rare that a hard-core member of the EU financed Peace Now admits that the radical leftist organization is not just intellectualy bankrupt, but aids and abets the Jew-hating terrorists, and fosters policies which are leading Israel towards annihilation.

After a decade of attending rallies and protests, Yuval Steinitz was certain that peace had finally arrived when the first Oslo Accord was signed on the White House lawn on September 13, 1993, exactly 15 years ago this week.

As a philosophy professor at the University of Haifa and an active member of Peace Now, Steinitz recalled that he went out that night with friends to celebrate the dawning of a new era for Israel.

But after two years, as the Palestinians armed themselves in the West Bank and suicide bombers began blowing themselves up in Israel, a disillusioned Steinitz came to the conclusion that instead of fostering peace, the accords that had held so much promise were actually leading Israel on a path to its demise.

To read the complete article, please click here.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 03:49 PM | Comments (5)

Why Obama Might Lose the Election

Speechmaker Obama talks about an era of bipartisanship, He speaks powerfully about the destructive politics of red and blue states.

Politician Obama has toed his party's line more reliably than almost any other Democrat in US politics. He has a near-perfect record of voting with his side. He has the most solidly left-wing voting history in the Senate. His one act of bipartisanship, a transparency bill co-sponsored with a Republican senator, was backed by everybody on both sides of the aisle. He has never challenged his party's line on any issue of substance.

Speechmaker Obama talks a lot about finding ways to move beyond the bloody battlegrounds of the “culture wars” in America; the urgent need to establish consensus on the emotive issue of abortion.

Politician Obama's support for abortion rights is the most extreme of any Democratic senator. In the Illinois legislature he refused to join Democrats and Republicans in supporting a Bill that would require doctors to provide medical care for babies who survived abortions. No one in the Senate - not the arch feminist Hillary Clinton nor the superliberal Edward Kennedy - opposed this same humane measure.

To read the entire article please go to Wolf Howling.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 12:03 PM | Comments (8)

Death in the Corn

The great war correspondent, Michael Yon, reports from Afghanistan.

My first mission with 2 Para was an ambush. We trudged over to a nearby ANA (Afghan National Army) compound where a small contingent of Brits from 2 Para are living and running missions with the Afghans. The journey was less than a half-mile, yet the prospect of being ambushed by direct fire or bombs was very real. Some Brits from the ANA camp, along with Afghan soldiers, helped secure our way. We walked through deserted compounds and a large cemetery, all of which have been the scenes of recent fighting. A British soldier named CPL Matt Desmond saw me, and realized there was a civilian in the bunch. He looked me in the eye and said, “If you see the grenade in the cemetery, don’t kick it!” and he chuckled, though I could see by the condition of his gear and the look in his eye that Desmond was a serious soldier.

A radio call came in that Gib, which we just left maybe 15 minutes prior, was about to get attacked. Good timing, I thought. If the Taliban attacked infantry style, since we were already outside the wire, they might lose track of us, and maybe the platoon I was with could maneuver on one of their flanks and kill them. But the Taliban must have seen us leave Gib, I thought. Because if they were preparing to attack, it would have been smart to watch the base for as long as possible before launching. But who knows? The enemy makes mistakes just like we do.

Some minutes later, we arrived at ANA compound, which was surrounded by Claymores. Claymores are powerful defensive mines that are like super-powerful shotguns. They’ll rip bodies to shreds, and so I never like walking in front of them, but that’s what you’ve got to do to enter these bases. Some Taliban are willing to pay the reaper to “disarm” those mines with their bodies, so that their buddies can follow behind them.

To read the entire dispatch, please click here.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 07:42 AM | Comments (0)

September 14, 2008

Best of the Jewish Blogosphere #182

Norma Talmadge says: “The secret to my success is that I read Haveil Havalim every week.”

Batya hosts Haveil Havalim #182, Back in the Saddle.

HH is the best way of keeping up with the Jewish blogosphere.

Enjoy!

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 10:01 AM | Comments (0)

September 12, 2008

My Beautiful Neighborhood, Part II

It's Friday, Baruch HaShem. Time to take a break from politics and terrorism. Time, once again, to take a stroll around my wonderful neighborhood here in Los Angeles and focus on the startling beauty that is everywhere.

Wall & Street Space - 4.jpg
Found this beautiful industrial composition on the side of a building on La Cienega Blvd.

On Pico Blvd., I was transfixed by part of a wall that looks like an archeological dig.

Street display from a Jewish-Persian store on Pico Blvd. This is a fine example of the classic Jewish-Byzantine-Elvis style.

On a side street off Pico Blvd., I found this mellow yellow grill.

Discovered these color-coded steel girders on Glenville, off Pico. They look like huge toys.

Karen and I were enjoying a relaxing hour at our local Coffee Bean. I looked up and noticed that our table umbrella and the roof next door created a powerful visual dynamic.

A rich green fence in back of a parking lot in Pico-Robertson.

Disney Concert Hall in downtown Los Angeles. The undulating curves remind me of Marilyn Monroe. But, hey, that's just me.

My Beautiful Neighborhood, Part I.

Karen and I wish all our friends a lovely and meaningful Shabbos.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:07 AM | Comments (15)

September 11, 2008

9-11: You Shall Not Forget

Photo: A Hole in the Sky, courtesy Elder of Zion.

The Torah teaches that we should forever remember what Amalek did to the children of Israel in the desert. Furthermore, the Torah commands us to wipe this evil off the face of the earth.

Remember what Amalek did to you on the way as you came out of Egypt, how he attacked you on the way when you were faint and weary, and cut off your tail, those who were lagging behind you, and he did not fear God. Therefore when the Lord your God has given you rest from all your enemies around you, in the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance to possess, you shall blot out the memory of Amalek from under heaven; you shall not forget.

—Deuteronomy 25

What was Amalek's great evil?

They attacked the stragglers, the oldest and the youngest, the lame and the blind, those who were at the rear as the Jews marched through the desert on their way to the promised homeland, the Land of Israel.

Amalek is still with us.

They still attack and murder the weak and the defenseless.

Amalek are the Islamic terrorists.

We must remember the evil of 9-11.

And we must eradicate modern Amalek from the face of the earth.

If not, our children and grandchildren will be murdered in cold blood just as the innocent victims of 9-11 were slaughtered.

And let us not forget the joy that gripped the Palestinians as word of the 9-11 attacks spread through East Jerusalem.

Yes, East Jerusalem, the real estate the Olmert-Livni-Barak government is prepared to turn over to Amalek.

You Shall Not Forget.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:09 AM | Comments (6)

September 10, 2008

Democrat: Palin's Only Qualification is not Having an Abortion.

The South Carolina Democratic Chairwoman, Carol Fowler, said today that Governor Sarah Palin's only qualification for the office of Vice President is that “she hasn't had an abortion.”

A classy move by an Obama surrogate.

It's clear that the Obama campaign is fraying at the edges. His surrogates are in full attack mode, but they are attacking the Vice Presidential candidate thereby diminishing BO's image—probably beyond repair.

Let's be clear, modern American feminism has nothing to do with feminism, it's a cover for arch-leftist ideology.

The reason the Democrats hate and fear Palin is simple. Her Frank Capraesque life story undermines the central tenets of militant leftist thought.

1. Sarah Palin does not believe that murdering babies in the womb is a moral act.
2. Palin knows that guns are not evil. People are evil.
3. Governor Palin does not view men as hairy, stupid things.
4. And Governor Palin does not believe that the American family is an institution that oppresses women.
5. Sarah Palin, a conservative Republican, a middle-class Wal-Mart mom, successfully balances home and work. Democrats believe that only they are capable of such a feat, usually achieving such heights the old fashioned way: marrying a rich and powerful man. Note: Pelosi, Feinstein, Boxer.

As a McCain-Palin supporter I hope that the Democrats continue these ugly and irrational attacks on Sarah Palin. She can take it, no problem. She's made of tough fiber.

No, the flailing attacks are backfiring and the Democrats are handing McCain-Palin a victory.

As Bobby Kennedy famously quipped: “Liberals are suicidal.”

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 04:31 PM | Comments (16)

McCain-Palin Democrats

Tammy Bruce weighs in on the Palin nomination. Bruce is the author of "The New American Revolution" (HarperCollins, 2005) and a Fox News political contributor. She is a former president of the Los Angeles chapter of the National Organization for Women. A registered Democrat her entire adult life until February, she now is registered as a decline-to-state voter.

In the shadow of the blatant and truly stunning sexism launched against the Hillary Rodham Clinton presidential campaign, and as a pro-choice feminist, I wasn't the only one thrilled to hear Republican John McCain announce Gov. Sarah Palin as his running mate. For the GOP, she bridges for conservatives and independents what I term "the enthusiasm gap" for the ticket. For Democrats, she offers something even more compelling - a chance to vote for a someone who is her own woman, and who represents a party that, while we don't agree on all the issues, at least respects women enough to take them seriously.

Whether we have a D, R or an "i for independent" after our names, women share a different life experience from men, and we bring that difference to the choices we make and the decisions we come to. Having a woman in the White House, and not as The Spouse, is a change whose time has come, despite the fact that some Democratic Party leaders have decided otherwise. But with the Palin nomination, maybe they'll realize it's not up to them any longer.

To read the complete article, please click here.

Hat Tip: The always articulate Wolf Howling.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:14 AM | Comments (4)

September 09, 2008

Obama: Lipstick on a Pig

Courtesy: Speak Up Designs.

Less than two hours ago, BO said:

"You can put lipstick on a pig," he [Obama] said as the crowd cheered. "It's still a pig."

Let's go to the videotape:

Of course BO's surrogates will claim that their candidate was just talking about change. But we all know that they are being disingenuous. Most certainly the Palin-hating crowd—a valid new clinical designation—knows that the increasingly desperate and glass-jawed Democratic candidate was echoing Governor Palin's remark that the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom is lipstick.

Classy guy.

No wonder women are deserting the hollow man in record numbers.

Source here.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 04:13 PM | Comments (29)

Hey Kids, Let's Watch Palestinian TV!

This delightful clip is not from Iranian TV, nor from Hizbullah or Hamas.

It's from the Palestinian Authority, Fatah TV, Israel's “peace partners.”

Funded by American tax dollars.

At the moment, Olmert and the Kadima party are planning to expel thousands of Jews from Judea and Samaria—because the Gaza expulsion worked out so well.

Once it becomes acceptable to expel Jews from their homes, well, no Jew, anywhere in the world, can feel secure. The terrorists will always voice some grievance that demands the expulsion of Jews from their homes and from entire countries. Once Jews are expelled from Gaza, Judea and Samaria, you can be sure that Jews in Tel Aviv are not safe, nor in New York, Los Angeles, Stockholm, Paris or Hong Kong.

These Jewish populations, will eventually also be expelled by Muslim terrorists on the grounds that the presence of Jews is intolerable. Already, there are neighborhoods in London where Jews cannot safely walk for fear of being murdered by Muslim gangs.

And once Jews are successfully targeted, Christians are next, for Jews are the canary in the coal mine of civilization.

Let there be no doubt, the Palestinian Authority is nothing more than a Jew-hating death cult devoted to eradicating Israel through terrorism and stealth negotiations.

Considering the filth that's broadcast on Arab TV, it's no wonder that Muslims recently defiled the Tomb of the Patriarchs in Hevron.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:28 AM | Comments (3)

September 08, 2008

Anita Page: Last Star of Silent Films, 1910 - 2008

Anita Page, Our Modern Maidens, 1929.

A moment of silence, please.

Anita Page, the legendary actress, passed away in her sleep on Saturday morning.

Anita Page, the last surviving star of the silent movies, has died at the age of 98 in Los Angeles.

Page’s career spanned 84 years – and her lasting fame endured despite a 60-year career break forced upon the actress at the height of her fame after she refused to sleep with a studio boss.

She had started out as an extra in 1924 and broke into the big time with a powerful performance in the 1928 silent melodrama Our Dancing Daughters, alongside Joan Crawford.

The combination of Page, who played to perfection the manipulative, amoral fortune-hunter trying to snare a husband, with the noble and virtuous Crawford was such a success that the two were paired up again in 1929 in the silent Our Modern Maidens and Our Blushing Brides, a talkie, in 1930.

But Page’s fraught relationship with her co-star caused palpable tension at MGM. She said that she ended up “loathing Joan”, whom she accused of trying to attack her physically.

Page’s daughter, Linda Sterne, said that her mother had been good friends with Jean Harlow, and during the 1930s had lived as a guest in a California castle owned by the newspaper magnate William Randolph Hearst, – himself immortalized in Citizen Kane.

“She was the best mother I could have,” she said. “She was wonderful.”

To read the complete article, please click here.

Anita Page checks her make-up.

The Anita Page, The Official Website

Anita Page by George Hurrell, 1930. Italian dictator Benito Mussolini wrote numerous love letters to Page and finally proposed marriage.

Here's a story and series of interviews with Anita Page from 2000.

Anita Page and Clark Gable in The Easiest Way, 1931.

Q & A with Anita Page, The Last Silent Film Star.

Director Harry Beaumont asked Anita Page: “Are you starting to believe your own publicity?”

Page immediately responded, “Of course, aren't you?”

Anita Page was a vital and magnetic actress, our last living link to silent films. RIP.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:27 AM | Comments (7)

September 07, 2008

Pass the Salt

“Um, hi, it's me. I need to refill the salt shakers and I, uh, can't find the salt. I know it's here, but you know, can't find it. Call me back, okay?”

My job is to set the table for Shabbos. I love unfurling the table cloth, smoothing it out, then ever so carefully laying out the napkins. I get totally compulsive about aligning the edges of the linen.

We're having guests this Shabbos and I like to set out individual salt shakers for them.

But the salt in the shakers is running low. I also need to replace the rice grains which have started to look a bit moldy.

So: I strap on my pistol, grab my whip, don a cool explorers Fedora and like Indiana Jones dive into the kitchen cabinets searching for the salt.

I look behind everything: olive oil, sugar, flour, tea, mayonnaise, chocolate—nothing.

No salt.

Maybe Karen forgot to stock up.

Nah.

Karen never forgets stuff like that.

Like a madman, I stick my head deep inside the shelves and go: “Salt, anybody see the salt?”

I don't want to do this, but I'm defeated.

Whip out my cell phone, call Karen, leave a message.

Yours truly stares at the cabinets. For a long time.

Strangely, the salt does not come marching out like a Ziegfeld girl.

Karen does not call back. That's because she has a real job, real responsibilities.

Every Friday I head on over to my local library, pay my fines for overdue books and pick up a whole new batch.

“My, my Mr. Maverick, you certainly read a lot of books about Hollywood.”

“It's Avrech, and yes, I am helpless and powerless in the face of a star's biography.”

My librarian giggles: “You owe $3.00 for Marlene Dietrich.”

And just as I'm paying the fine, my cell phone chimes.

My librarian get all stern and says: “ No cell phones in the library.”

I go: “This is an emergency.”

She goes: “Okay, but make it quick.”

Karen says: “There's salt in the pantry, upper or lower cabinet. I can't be more specific, but it's there.”

“I looked there, no salt.”

My librarian stares daggers at me.

Karen sighs: “It's there. I don't know what else to tell you.”

“Okey-dokey.”

“That's your emergency, Mr. Maverick?”

“Absolutely.”

My librarian scans my bios of Paulette Goddard, Merle Oberon, Shirley Temple, Barbara Payton and says: “Your books are due in two weeks.”

“It used to be three weeks.”

“Patrons abused their privileges so now it's two weeks.”

You mean little ol' me?

Back home our salt shakers are sitting on the kitchen counter looking forlorn and desperate.

I dig into into the cabinets.

Again.

Look behind everything.

Nada.

Karen enters.

“Hi, I looked everywhere, I really did—”

Karen opens the cabinet, sticks her hand in, pulls out the container of salt.

Wow, that's amazing. How did she do that? It's a miracle, just like The Six Day War.

Karen sticks her hand into another cabinet and pulls out a second container of salt.

I'm genuinely impressed.

Karen's not angry, just baffled: “Robert, how did you miss that?”

“Well, hey, that's not fair, the salt was right in front. I was looking behind stuff.”

Karen just lets her gaze rest on me. There are some issues even a psychologist with a Ph.D cannot fathom.

I confess the truth: “Maybe because I'm, y'know, male?”

Karen darts about, efficiently and effortlessly putting up the food for Shabbos.

I look around, take a deep breath, and:

“Um, Karen, do we have a funnel?”

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 10:33 AM | Comments (18)

September 06, 2008

Best of the Jewish Blogosphere #181

MM anxiously waits for the arrival of Haveil Havalim.

Haveil Havalim #181, is up and hosted this week by Tzipyah.

We'd lik to thank Jack for submitting Script, Chapter Forty in our long-running and popular series How I Married Karen.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:40 PM | Comments (0)

September 05, 2008

My Beautiful Neighborhood

Every once in a while I grab my camera, a Canon Rebel, and walk around our neighborhood, Pico Robertson, here in Los Angeles, snapping photos of, well, whatever.

Here are some snapshots—isolated textures and geometric details—of my local gas station.

It's true, gas prices are painfully high; it's true that bums—drug addicts and alcoholics—panhandle at the station; it's true that the gasoline fumes make me ill, but there is great beauty in this space.

Hey, I'm just a romantic fool.

Gas Station Studies - 30.jpg
The round plate, the inner triangle, and the two bolts create an organic composition.

Gas Station Studies - 16.jpg
White on white, an elegant window that's never open.

Gas Station Studies - 19.jpg
Red and orange spheres, bisected by a slanting shadow.

Gas Station Studies - 15.jpg
Muted colors and stunning textures in a corner of the gas station.

Gas Station Studies - 27.jpg
A deeply soothing blue and the surprising red dot .

Gas Station Studies - 2.jpg
The roof the the service station, a slashing crimson bar with four PVC crowns.

Gas Station Studies - 28.jpg
Love the yellow, looks like an industrial piece of candy.

Gas Station Studies - 18.jpg
My favorite image. It's got that Walker Evans feel. Well, almost.

Karen and I wish all our friends a lovely and meaningful Shabbat.

And don't miss this article by David Horovitz from The Jerusalem Post.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:58 AM | Comments (29)

September 04, 2008

My Buddy Sarah

Photoshop Courtesy: Bored Melo

First thing: “Nice outfit. Really like the simple silver and black color scheme, the clean, elegant silhouette.”

Karen goes: “Beautiful.”

Thank G-d we're not being sentenced to hideous, fashion-murdering pant suits.

Governor Sarah Palin smiles. She twinkles. She's got that whole Northern Lights thing about her.

The Governor of Alaska beams energy.

Even as she twists the knife into the chimera of BO's candidacy, she's all country, easy-going—but there's steel beneath that rural charm.

She introduces her family. Her strapping husband, Todd is a union member and a snow-machine champion. No, not snow-mobile. Snow machines are, apparently, an entirely different beast.

Who knew?

Anyway, Todd's like Sergeant Preston of the Yukon, one of my fave shows from childhood.

“You know why liberal woman hate her so much,” I say, “it's because she got to where she is all by herself. Unlike Hillary, Pelosi, Boxer, Feinstein, they all married powerful or rich men, and then hopped aboard for the upward ride.”

“Yup, Governor Palin makes them look like dilettantes.”

Governor Palin, husband Todd, and son Trig.

Governor Palin is talking about Trig, her Down syndrome son. I think I might start crying. One of our close friends in shul have a Down syndrome son, and he is just remarkable. Every time he's called up for an aliyah to the Torah my heart skips a beat.

I say: “That's another reason they hate Sarah, liberals don't like to be reminded that their values favor murdering babies in the womb, and let's face it, children with special needs are prime targets.”

Governor Palin is all positive energy; she radiates optimism. It's exciting to hear someone get beyond lofty rhetoric and actually talk tachlis, specifics.

Here's what slides into my mind: Sandy Koufax pitching a perfect game.

That was exciting, especially for Jewish kids from Brooklyn.

And then hearing that Koufax would not pitch on Yom Kippur.

That was out of the park.

And so is Governor Palin's speech.

Remember BO's acceptance speech? He was glowering, he was your typical angry liberal. No humor, no charm. BO was all: America is in horrible shape and I'm going to fix it by taxing, spending, and making the federal government into a giant thing, bigger than the biggest multi-nationals.

In short, BO wants to turn the U.S. government, including our health care system, into one huge Department of Motor Vehicles.

Sarah—I'm already thinking of her as my buddy Sarah—was elected Governor of the largest state in the union, the state that was brought into the union because of its abundance of natural resources. And one of the first things she did was sell the governor's jet—on e-Bay.

Then she got rid of the governor's personal chef.

I gotta tell you, I'd never do that. I'd kill for a private jet. And a personal chef?

“Hey, personal chef, a bowl of cholent, please?”

“But sir, it's three in the morning and it's not Shabbos.”

“Hop to it Jeeves or I'll sic the bloodhounds on you.”

Something like that.

Karen and I keep looking at each other and smiling. The speech is that good.

Palin is real, not some polished, manufactured thing.

I say: “Another reason the chattering classes despise her is because she doesn't have a degree from Harvard, Yale or Columbia. She went to The University of Idaho. That must kill them.”

Karen and I hear these weird rhythmic thumps from the street.

Thunck!

“What's that?” asks Karen.

I stick my head out the window.

“Democrats throwing themselves off their roofs.”

My buddy Sarah has three flags in her office: the American flag,
the flag of the state of Alaska, and the Israeli flag.

For a great video of Palin's acceptance speech, click here.

Update: And gee, what a shock, The Islamic Republic of Iran was also watching Palin's speech and they back Obama. In fact, the Iranian talking points are the same as the Democrats. Click here for LGF and a most revealing video.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:38 AM | Comments (35)

September 03, 2008

A New Strategy

Photo by Robert J. Avrech

An articulate and important policy paper by Lt.-Gen. (ret.) Moshe Yaalon, Former Chief of Staff, Israel Defense Forces, Distinguished Fellow, Adelson Institute for Strategic Studies, Shalem Center

Another myth is that at the core of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is the "occupation." This term refers to the territories conquered by Israel in the Six-Day War of 1967. Among Palestinians from all sectors and factions (Fatah, Hamas, PIJ, PFLP, DFLP, etc.) there are those that use the term "‘occupation" simply as a euphemism for Israel ("from the Mediterranean Sea to the Jordan River"). This view has proponents even among Israeli Arabs. They consider Israelis to be foreign colonialists and the entire land mass of Israel including its cities, towns, villages, and kibbutz farms as "occupied" territory.

The Palestinians have maintained a posture of implacable hostility to Israel's most fundamental and inalienable rights. The PLO, for example, existed and launched terror attacks against Israelis before 1967 when the West Bank and Gaza were not yet occupied by Israel. The PLO's pre-1967 raison d'etre has not magically disappeared in the meantime. Both Fatah and Hamas continue to maintain charters denying Israel's right to exist as an independent Jewish state. We find the rejection of Israel forms an integral part of the Palestinian ethos, and is expressed in no less than the founding documents and actions of the largest and most important Palestinian factions.

Rejectionism, far from being a "mere" matter of official policy or posturing, reaches the rhetoric of the Palestinian national leadership (including Mahmoud Abbas), the educational curriculum, and the Palestinian media. It deeply informs Palestinian strategy and policy. During the preparations for the Annapolis conference, it was demonstrated in the Palestinian refusal to make a basic declaration of their belief in "two states for two peoples." Instead they spoke only of "two states," avoiding explicit recognition of the Jewish people's right to an independent state. This quibbling over words is only the tip of an iceberg.

To read the entire article, please click here.

Hat Tip: Serahic Friend, Jake Novak

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:02 AM | Comments (6)

September 01, 2008

Script

smith corona

Robert first laid eyes on Karen when they were both nine-years-old, students in Yeshiva of Flatbush grade school. Thus began a love affair that defined and continues to define Robert's existence. This series tells the story of...

How I Married Karen — Chapter 40

“Can I read the screenplay?”

“Um...”

I am my usual articulate self.

It is 1976. Karen and I have been dating for several weeks.

I have always loved Karen. Never stopped thinking abut her ever since she, a stunning, raven-haired 9-year old, transferred from Yeshiva Ohel Moshe, to Yeshiva of Flatbush elementary school, where yours truly was a student.

A chance meeting at a Jewish street festival on the upper West Side brought us together, and from that encounter—just like Celia Johnson and Trevor Howard in the heart-breaking Brief Encounter—our relationship has gathered force, and now moves along like a whirling tornado.

At least in my feverish imagination.

Karen is reserved. Karen is cautious. Several painful relationships have made her suspicious of the male of the species.

Imagine that.

Now, we are sitting in a coffee shop on Manhattan's upper West Side and I spill, tell Karen of my dreams and aspirations.

I am a screenwriter, I say.

I want to make movies, I say.

Notice: I am not in medical, dental, or law school. Nor am I am studying to be an accountant, a businessman, a psychologist, an educator, a Rabbi or a social worker.

I'm shooting for Hollywood.

Karen just gazes at me long and hard. Like Supergirl—the Jewish version—she seems to possess x-ray vision, and I'm pretty sure she can see right through me.

Karen does not flinch, she does not blink, she does not protest.

Other young women have said to me:

“You can't do that, you're a Shomer Shabbos Jew.”

Or:

“Is that a parnassah, a living?”

Or:

“What's a screenplay?”

“That's a wonderful ambition,” says Karen.

To this day I have no idea what kept me from falling to my knees and kissing her feet.

I have been so isolated in my love of movies, in my desire to become a Hollywood screenwriter, that at some point I just stopped telling people what I truly wanted out of life.

I was like a crypto Jew of the Spanish Inquisition, on the surface, a normal American guy, but in the privacy of my apartment, a devoted screenwriter, pounding away on my manual Smith Corona, burning with images.

Karen sips her tea and asks me a series of logical questions about the structure of screenplays.

Note to self: Karen does not pretend to know more than she does.

I explain that movies have three acts: exposition, conflict, resolution. I talk about main characters, how the script is all about a journey to overcome impossible obstacles and achieve something.

Karen asks about the business.

“It's very tough,” I concede.

I don't tell her that Hollywood is littered with broken, failed screenwriters. I don't want to scare Karen away.

“What have you written?”

I tell Karen about my latest script, an adaptation of a short story by the great Israeli Nobel Laureate S.Y. Agnon. It's been a struggle to write. Every script has its own unique problems to solve, but this script has been keeping me up at nights. It's good but flawed, deeply flawed.

“Can I read the screenplay?”

Oh boy.

If I give it to Karen and she hates it, well, I have a feeling that this will diminish me in her eyes.

But if I don't let Karen read it, well, that indicates total cowardice.

I have loved Karen since we were children. Helplessly and hopelessly. Abruptly, I realize that at some point I must make the leap from the warm embrace of romantic love into the real world where relationships are tested, where the depth of trust can be properly measured.

On the way home from the coffee shop, we stop at my apartment and I hand over my screenplay.

A little voice inside my head screams and screams and screams.

Several days pass without a response from Karen.

I tell myself:

“She hates it.”

I stare at the telephone and growl:

“What do you know about screenplays? Nothing. So who are you to judge me?”

And then, the phone chimes:

“I read your screenplay.”

Pause.

Someone on my block is beating on a set of drums and it's making my entire body shake. Oh, wait, that's my heart galloping in my chest.

“Annnd?” I whine.

We meet at the same coffee shop.

“I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner,” Karen says, “but I wanted to read the original story and see what you did with it.”

Note to self: Unlike yours truly, Karen is thorough, believes in hard work, research.

“So I had to go to the library and find the Hebrew version.”

“Wait a minute, you read the original?”

Karen nods, sips her tea.

“It's not hot enough.”

“My screenplay?”

“My tea.”

“You read the story in Hebrew?”

Karen nods, says to the waiter: “Can I have some hot tea, please

“Karen, I worked from an English translation. My Hebrew isn't good enough to read Agnon's original. ”

“I read both,” Karen says, “the Hebrew and the English.”

Which is why Karen was in the A-class in Yeshiva Flatbush and I was in the C-class, the class reserved for dummies.

Karen praises my work and then offers the most cogent criticism I have ever received on a screenplay. This young woman who has never before read a movie script, effortlessly isolates the main problems in the story and offers a few simple suggestions that will help clarify the central theme and sharpen the main character. Oh, and Karen has a few notes on how to make the script a bit more commercial. Always a fine idea.

I am flattened.

I am humbled.

And of course, I am a complete baby.

“But you like my script, right?”

I'm pretty sure I'm begging.

Yes, Karen assures me, she likes it.

And only supernatural willpower stops me from saying: “Well, that means you like me too, right?”

Even I, violently love-smitten since childhood, have some reserves of pride.

Karen sips her hot tea, looks up at me with her onyx-black eyes and says: “You're going to have the career you want. I have faith in you.”

I bite my lip. Hard. It's the only thing I can do to hold back a gush of tears. No one has ever said these words to me. All my life I have been the outsider, the lofty dreamer, the kid who just doesn't fit in.

In truth, I have almost no faith in myself.

It's as if the cruel teachers in Yeshiva of Flatbush had forever branded me—inside and out—with that fearful report card notation: Does not live up to his full potential.

In scripts there is a decisive moment, almost always in the second act, it's the point in the story where several plot lines converge, where the main character makes a momentous decision, and in terms of narrative, the story then moves along with single-minded velocity to the inevitable resolution and end.

We have reached that decisive moment. Karen and I have just taken a giant leap in our relationship, and here in this Manhattan coffee shop, we sip our tea and just bask in companionable silence.

I am going to marry Karen.

Karen is going to marry me.

Everything is going to be okay.

It's in the script.

Karen, my kallah, my bride, June 19, 1977