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September 19, 2008
Meet the Seraphic Secret Girlses From a Distinctly but Purposefully Skewed Angle
Several years ago, spotting a soft-focus Kodak moment, I whipped out my trusty Canon and focused on one of my girlses.
“No, don't shoot me, I look horrible!”
What's going on here, I thought to myself, am I on a film set, dealing with some high-strung movie star?
This happened again and again with Offsprings #2, #3, and Karen. In spite of the fact that all my girlses are devastatingly beautiful and always camera-ready.
But try arguing with a woman who feels less than perfect.
One day, feeling deeply frustrated when one of my girlses ordered me not to trip the shutter, I cried:
“Okay, I won't shoot your face. Is it okay for me to shoot your, er, shoes?”
There was a long pause.
“Um, o-kaaay, I guess.”
Thus began the Avrech family portfolio of my girlses footwear. Shooting shoes has become something of a minhag, a tradition, around here.
“I've got a new pair of shoes, Daddy.”
“Excellent, let me get my camera.”
Snick! Snick! Snick!
“Oh, by the way, how much did they cost?”
“Not to worry, I got them on sale. We've been brought up properly.”
There are, I kid you not, hundreds of photos in our wild and wacky album, and gee, what a shock, hundreds of different styles of footwear.
Memo to Men: Girls love footwear; think of it as a permanent mood disorder—on steroids.
And finally, a heartfelt observation. In these snapshots of my glorious girlses posing proudly in their footwear, I detect tectonic shifts in self-expression and gradually maturing tastes. The pictures brim with subtle feelings. In fact, for yours truly, these faceless photos reveal the delicate arc and architecture of my girlses emotional lives.
Every photo is a window into a specific moment of time, and a timeless record of overflowing femininity.
Offspring #3 going through her endearing and most girlie tom-boy phase.
Karen's black leather boots are made for walking. And when she wears them I feel like saluting.
Offspring #3 in sheepskin lined Ugs. Perfect for the frigid
Los Angeles winters.
Adorable red-bowed flats for Offspring#2. These shoes definitely have that carefree, Gidget vibe.
On our way to a shul dinner, Karen glams it up with aerodynamic, Italian suede stilettos.
Offspring #3 feels bouncy and optimistic in Offspring #2's delicately flowered ballet flats. The girlses invariably share the most desirable of the footwear.
I take my camera everywhere. Even when Karen and I go shopping at a kitchen supply store in Culver City.
Karen and I wish all our friends a lovely and restful Shabbat.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at September 19, 2008 04:23 AM
Comments
Seraphic Secret is private property, that's right, it's an extension of our home, and as such, Karen and I have instituted two Seraphic Rules and we ask commentors to act respectfully.
1. No profanity.2. No Israel bashing. We debate, we discuss, we are respectful. You know what Israel bashing is. The world is full of it. Seraphic Secret is one of the few places in the world that will not tolerate this form of anti-Semitism. That's it. Break either of these rules and you will be banned.
Ahhh, a love of Israel AND footwear AND movie stars all on one blog. I'm in heaven.
I highly approve of the black, suede, t-strap heels.
Posted by: Alice at September 19, 2008 05:51 AM
Thanks, Robert, for FINALLY posting your pics of footwear; I recall the photo collection display in your dining room.
Every one of these photos has "SOLE"!
Now you have to get together with Ma'ayan Ariel and take some shots of her tender little tootsies.
Shabbat Shalom.
Posted by: Pearl at September 19, 2008 07:50 AM
Those shoes look great on Karen.
I'm imagining the portrait gallery in the Avrech home. Kind of Imelda Marcosian.
Where are the pictures of you and your shoes?
Posted by: mata hari at September 19, 2008 09:42 AM
Doors and shoes.... Not to offer unsolicited analysis, but do you dream about transition a lot? I go for long walks in the morning, and when people ask why, I tell them it is to enjoy the illusion that I am going somewhere.
Posted by: Barzilai at September 19, 2008 10:06 AM
Such sweet pictures... I particularly enjoy the last. My mother used to have a pair of those shoes, until my sister discovered them, and the ownership shifted.
Posted by: Michal at September 19, 2008 10:30 AM
I grew up with more sisters than you shake a stick at. But it didn't provide me with any more insight as to why women need 25 pairs of black shoes.
Posted by: Jack at September 19, 2008 11:27 AM
Alice:
Israel, movies, and footwear, what else is there?
I approve of the t-straps too. But Karen is kind of limited in how many steps she can take in those nose-bleed heels so she usually also carries flats to walk to and from the car.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.seraphicpress.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at September 19, 2008 02:57 PM
Pearl:
Great idea. Ma'ayan already has some pretty nifty footwear. I am so on it. Look for the pics in a future blog.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at September 19, 2008 03:10 PM
Mata Hari:
Next pix post I'll also show yours truly with Karen—the footwear view.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at September 19, 2008 03:13 PM
Barzilai:
I dream about being back in Yeshiva of Flatbush and not being prepared for a math test. I've been having this same black nightmare for over 45 years.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at September 19, 2008 03:18 PM
Michal:
Karen has the same flats in black, silver, gold, and a black/gold combination.
Ownership also shifts in Casa Avrech. Often, I'm not sure how to label the snapshots, by the Offspring who bought the shoes, or the Offspring who has, um, appropriated them.
It's a profound existential problem.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at September 19, 2008 03:24 PM
Jack:
You silly male you. Women must have 25 pair of black shoes because they have nothing to wear.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at September 19, 2008 03:26 PM
yep, it's true about needing lot's of black shoes. Love the pics Robert. I never realized how much can be seen about a person through the eyes of their shoes. (did that make sense?)
Posted by: cruisin-mom at September 19, 2008 10:27 PM
you live in LA... it's so hard NOT to buy lots of shoes there!
when i arrived there once i had only three or four pairs of shoes with me. when i left to go home a couple of months later I had at least 15 more pairs...
shavua tov!!!
Posted by: ~ Sarah ~ at September 20, 2008 04:19 AM
My husband also knows what it's like to have three daughters and a wife. The girls are only just beginning to acquire their thirst for shoes. They are also starting to fit into my size and often are prancing around in my heels, looking so young and fresh and beautiful.
My favorites are the pink all-stars.
Posted by: Baila at September 20, 2008 01:04 PM
The pink all-stars are my favorite, too.
(Hmmm... the next time your girls are in Israel, I'd love to tell them about this great shoe store in the Gush. They deliver, too.)
Posted by: Rahel at September 20, 2008 09:04 PM
Okay, that does it. You've helped me to rationalize the -- yes, girls! -- turquoise blue pumps. [Audible group intake of breath from the stands.]
Posted by: rutimizrachi at September 21, 2008 01:26 AM
Cruisin' Mom:
As a very fine wardrobe designer once said to me: “If you want to know who a woman is, just look at her footwear.”
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at September 21, 2008 07:57 AM
Sarah:
Because LA does not demand a four-season wardrobe—really it's just a one=season town—women vent their fashion hunger on footwear.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at September 21, 2008 08:01 AM
Baila:
With so many women around, your husband might consider a support group, y'know, to cope with the footwear mania. Oh, and a fresh line of credit.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at September 21, 2008 08:06 AM
Rahel:
Only if it's Loehmann's:-)
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at September 21, 2008 08:09 AM
Rutimizrachi:
Good news: turquoise-blue is the new black!
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at September 21, 2008 08:11 AM
I am definitely feeling out on the fringes here.
However, I think I've transferred the typical female shoe fetish to musical instruments. I own more instruments (10) than I do shoes (4 pairs, counting the steel-toed boots).
Posted by: DrCarol at September 21, 2008 10:51 AM
Dr. Carol:
Four pair of shoes?
But they are all Christian Leboutain, right:-)
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at September 21, 2008 01:14 PM
Robert,
Just to let you know, as a way of maintaining his sanity, my husband went out and bought a male dog.
Which I promptly had neutered.
:-)
Posted by: Baila at September 21, 2008 01:40 PM
That is so funny -- and I know just how your girlses feel about that camera.
Posted by: Bookworm at September 22, 2008 03:03 PM
All I know is thank G-d for the internet. My wife used to make me go with her to buy shoes. Now it's zappos (expensive, but worth every penny)
Posted by: Lion of Zion at September 22, 2008 11:11 PM
I love the suede stilettos! In fact, I love almost all of Karen's footwear. Thanks for posting! Mazal tov on Aliza's wedding!
Posted by: Frayda at August 4, 2009 07:53 AM