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October 31, 2008
Hollywood: The Head Game
Attend an Orthodox shul on Shabbat and you'll notice that married women cover their hair, donning hats, scarves, or sometimes just an elegant slip of lace. Hat variations are endless, and to yours truly, fascinating.
In Israel, you can usually pinpoint a woman's hashkafah, religious perspective, by noting what type of head covering she favors. I'm not up on the endless variations, but I'd love to see one of my fellow bloggers from Israel publish a photo essay on this subject.
Sadly, I am up on Hollywood, er, hashkafah in regards to millinery. Yours truly has seen way too many movies and pored over way too many Hollywood bios, autobios, and dopey coffee table tomes. What can I say, I am helpless and powerless when faced with the silver screen. Perhaps I need a support group or maybe a stint in some glamorous rehab center where I scrub floors with fallen stars and become their bestest friend and confident.
Anyhoo.
Hollywood glamor photos often featured hats—a stunning variety—and here are a few of our favorites.
In the 20's, hats were common for men and women.
Hollywood's first tragic suicide, Olive Thomas, looks pensive
in a light-as-air bonnet.
Notice how silent star Pola Negri's melting white hat
relates perfectly to her flowing gown.
Dorothy Sebastian models a wide-brimmed straw sun hat, but
the open crown gives it an unexpected kick.
Louise Brook's cool magnetism and burning sensual
appeal are blunted by this modified cloche.
Garbo's thin hair was never her best feature.
This architectural tube with a tail frames her
symmetrical features just perfectly.
Jean Harlow looks like she's wearing an
oversize yarmulke. The hat squeezes her features
and highlights eyes which were too deep set and always
required very careful lighting.
Joan Crawford is wearing a big
question mark on her head that asks:
Why am I posing in this wretched hat?
Anita Page almost always looked better in hats,
very big hats. Here in a still from Our Modern Maidens,
Page's entire outfit relates in texture, and line. Her lovely
face is framed as beautifully as a Vermeer portrait.
Speaking of going to rehab, here's my good friend Marvin Silbermintz, former Jay Leno writer, covering Amy Winhouse's Rehab: No, No, No—in Yiddish.
H/T Seraphic Chaver, Jake.
Karen and I wish all our friends and relatives a restful and meaningful Shabbat.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:17 AM | Comments (19)
October 30, 2008
My (Phone) Schlep to Florida
Rabbi Abraham Avrech prepares to pull the trigger for...
Vital Stats:
Gender: Male
Religion: Jewish
Age: 89
Marital Status: Happy
Residence: Miami Beach, Fl.
Hobbies: Golf, and, er, more Golf.
Occupation: Orthodox Rabbi, Col. U.S. Army, 42nd Division, Retired.
Political Party Affiliation: Democrat; the other party is feh!
“So listen, I'm calling to find out if you've made up your mind about whom you're going to vote?”
“Yes, yes, I have.”
“I'm listening...”
“Well Robert, I'm voting for McCain.”
My knees turn to jelly. I'm pretty sure I just heard thunderous claps of lightning.
“Did you say McCain?”
“Robert,” my father sighs, “for the first time in my life I'm voting for a Republican.”
Caution: Head. About. To. Explode.
“I'm like speechless, Dad.”
He can hardly believe what he's saying. “Yep, first time in my life, a Republican.”
“Total Oy-vey.”
We chuckle.
I get on the phone with Sylvia, my lovely and loving step-mother.
“Can you believe it, Robert, your father's actually voting Republican.”
“Sylvia, I think the Moshiach is up next.”
“Amazing, huh?”
“Tell me something, the people in your building, Democrats or Republicans?”
“Oh, Democrats, except for me.”
Sylvia has worked in small business her entire life so she's a natural Republican; she knows how government just gets in the way of business and free enterprise.
“So they're voting for Obama?”
“Nooo. No, no, no! This time the whole building—except for one complete meshuganah—is voting for McCain.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, something, huh?”
“How come”
“You think we want that anti-Semite Farrakhan near the White House? What do they take us for?”
I'm not a pollster. But if my father and his entire co-op—except for one complete meshuganah—are voting for the McCain-Pailn ticket, well, Florida could get very interesting.
Apparently, U.S. Citizens in Israel agree with my father by an overwhelming majority.
And from Judith Apter Klinghoffer, Why Obama's Victory Would Be Osama's.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 10:08 AM | Comments (30)
October 29, 2008
Another Terrorist on Obamaland
The LA Times refuses to release a videotape of a dinner Obama attended in honor of PLO terrorist Rashid Khalidi.
Their excuses are beyond lame.
The truth is simple: the video is probably horribly damaging and if released would present a mortal wound to the Obama campaign. The LA Times is in the tank for Obama, hence they act as censors and neglect their primary duty: to educate the citizenry with a free, unfettered press. No wonder the LA Times is hemorrhaging readers and laying off more staffers.
Sarah Palin says it best: “If there's a Pulitzer Prize category for excelling in kow-towing, then the LA Times, you're winning,”
And gee, this is a shocker: Terrorists in Gaza are actively campaigning for Obama. They recognize a fellow traveler when they see one. As do the Holocaust denying/Holocaust yearning Persians.
Rest easy American Jews.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 12:00 PM | Comments (10)
October 28, 2008
How to Get So Dead in This Town
Great script conference on the set of Red Dust.
Left to right: director Victor Fleming, Jean Harlow,
Clark Gable, Mary Astor.
In the spacious, well-appointed conference, I'm at the tail end of a script conference with a group of high-powered studio executives.
It's a good meeting. The company is enthusiastic about my latest spec script.
Spec scripts are not studio assignments. Instead, I wrote it on my own time in the belief that I'd find a buyer, and thus attach myself as executive producer and reap much higher financial rewards. Owning and controlling my own scripts, though risky, is one of the best ways for a Hollywood screenwriter to control his career. My batting average with specs is, so far, pretty darn good.
The production company optioned my script almost as soon as it hit the market
Now we're discussing a rewrite—actually, more like a polish. I also have to deal with some below-the-line budget problems. Figure out a way to cut a few million from the script and make it doable. I figure I'll scale back on the massive action scenes and combine several locations.
The execs are a creative, experienced group. Their notes are solid. I've known most of them for a long time. We've been in Hollywood for some 20-plus years. I like and admire these execs. Always respectful of my Orthodox Judaism they go out of their way to schedule lunch meetings at kosher restaurants.
We're all on the same page, script-wise. I'm thinking: this is fab-u-lous, we're gonna make an excellent movie.
I'm also gripped with a huge sense of relief because the meeting did not include the standard and obligatory George Bush-is-worse-than-Hitler pre-meeting chat.
Yup, it's all smooth and professional — until the meeting devolves into sheer lunacy.
“Okay,” announces the senior studio executive, “I just want to make sure that everyone in this room is voting for Obama.”
To the left of me a junior executive goes: “Well, sure, of course.”
To the right of me another executive nods his head up and down like a bobble and mutters: “We need Obama so badly.”
Let's be honest, folks: I can just grunt in the affirmative and be done with the whole wretched ambush.
“Robert?”
The studio exec is smiling, all charm and fuzzy-wuzzy, but his eyes betray confusion. I mean, Hollywood is in the tank for Obama, all except for a handful of out-of-the closet Republicans and even more who dare not voice their conservative beliefs for fear of being blacklisted. This is not paranoia, It's just the way it is for Hollywood Republicans swimming in an ocean of liberals.
“Earth to Robert?”
All eyes are on me. My colleagues are shifting uncomfortably in their super-comfy leather chairs.
Everyone in Hollywood takes it for granted that if you work in Hollywood you are a Democrat. Hollywood people, whose job it is to imagine stuff, find it hard, if not impossible, to imagine a Republican in their midst.
I feel like a Marrano, a secret Jew, unveiled before the Inquisition.
Time to man-up.
Sorta.
“Look, I don't talk politics. I'm here to make a movie.”
Seriously, the studio exec looks like he's just had a glimpse of the apocalypse and his head is about to explode.
He's like: “You are kidding, right?”
I'm totally absorbed in the incredibly complex task of closing my MacBook and shtupping it into my briefcase.
I glance up, all eyes on your faithful blogger.
G-d in heaven, I silently pray, puh-leeese let loose with an earthquake—not massive and corpse strewn, mind you—just awesome enough to send everyone scurrying for their lives and get me the heck out of this totalitarian canyon.
Is my prayer answered?
No, it is not.
I'm like: “Let's just make a great film together.”
My studio executive goes all Ludwig Wittgenstein on me.
“You're not voting for Barack. That means you're voting for John McCain,”
Now I'm focused on zipping up my laptop case. It's unbelievably complicated and demands all my attention.
Smiling through a deadly combination of disbelief and rapidly escalating anger: “Robert, this is not a democracy in this room. You don't get to abstain.”
I love liberals. They're so not liberal it's almost a fulfillment of George Orwell's 1984.
“Look, I don't discuss politics or religion in business meetings. Sorry.”
Sure, I could say that I'm voting for McCain-Palin, but I don't feel like playing in their playground. I want to create some simple boundaries.
“Sarah Palin is such a backward step for women,” chimes in a young, slender D-girl. DG is an Ivy League grad, overeducated, overbred and fashionably undernourished. She invariably shows up at meetings poised for the runway in Prada, Armani, Dolce Gabbana, plus a seemingly endless supply of Manolo Blahnik pumps, footwear whose combined cost is more than the GNP of several third world countries.
I shrug, trying to give the impression that I'm way too stupid to process D-girl's sophisticated political analysis.
Finally, my agent—G-d love him—claps his hands together and all hyper and energized and trying desperately to create a Ho Chi Minh style diversion announces that this is a great script, that the notes are great, that we all have great relationships, that we're going to make a great movie, and it's all so, you know, great.
Oddly enough, I don't feel so great.
In the elevator going down to the parking lot my agent chuckles and calls me a four-letter word. He does this with great affection.
“Why don't you just give 'em what they want?”
“As Barack Obama once sad: That's above my pay grade.”
“It's a good thing you have so much talent or you'd be so dead in this town.”
And hey, wouldn't you like to see the videotape of Obama attending a dinner in honor of Palestinian terrorist Rashid Khalili? The LA Times is holding it back—at least prior to the election. The tape, might, y'know, get blindly reliable Jewish Democrats to reconsider voting for Obama.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 12:54 PM | Comments (71)
October 27, 2008
Obama: Tragedy, Redistribution of Wealth Not Pursued
In this radio interview from 2001, Barack Obama laments the fact that “the Supreme Court never ventured into the issues of redistribution of wealth.”
This is the ideology of the former Soviet Union, Mao's China, Cuba and every Communist, Socialist sink hole on planet earth. It's a classic Socialist belief that government should control private property and wealth, that the haves should be compelled by big government to hand over what they have earned to the have-nots—above and beyond taxes.
We will also remind our readers that Obama's mentor for over 20-years, Jeremiah (“G-d damned America; Israel, that dirty word.”) Wright, advocated this economic ideology when preaching his Black Liberation Theology. And of course, American terrorists William Ayers and his wife Bernardine Dohrn* were and are Communists who openly advocate the redistribution of wealth.
So if Obama is elected here's what we can expect almost immediately.
1. The Defense budget will be cut by at least 10% and as much as 25%. This will make the Islamic terrorists and Russia very happy.
2. Israel will not have a strong American partner in Obama. In fact, the opposite. And when it comes time to destroy the Iranian nuclear facilities, Obama will, most assuredly, want to sit down and chat with the Persians and then get the Europeans and the UN involved. Whenever that scenario unrolls, Israelis and Jews the world over end up getting murdered. And whatever is bad for Israel, is invariably bad for America. Remember: Israel is the canary in the coal mine for civilization.
3. Obama and his radical left friends in the Congress, Conyers, Dodd, Frank, Pelosi, Rangel, Reid, will impose tariffs against our most vital trading partners. Never forget that Obama and the Democrats are owned by the unions. There will be a trade war and domestic prices will shoot shy high.
4. At the same time, Obama will increase taxes for everyone except those who don't pay Federal taxes.
5. Obama has said he wants to hand over an extra 50 billion dollars to the UN. The Jew-haters who are in the majority of that odious institution can't wait. That money will buy plenty of weapons with which to kill Jews in Israel and Americans across the globe.
6. Jimmy Carter's wretched one-term presidency will seem like a stroll in the park.
Here's the good news:
1. An Obama presidency will be such a massive failure that after his term is over the country will flock back to the Republicans.
2. Hello President Sarah Palin.
*Bernardine Dohrn on the Tate-LaBianca murders: “Dig it. First they [the Manson gang] killed those pigs and then they put a fork in their bellies Wild!”
What’s happening in this terrifying, Orwellian US presidential race is the flip side of the madness that’s been on display since 9/11 itself, when swathes of the UK population decided that ‘America had it coming to it’ because it supported Israel, and that George W Bush was the most dangerous man on the planet. After the Iraq war started this irrationality swelled into pathological proportions on both sides of the Atlantic, when the ‘Bush lied, people died’ narrative fuelled a hatred of Bush and ‘the neocons’ exceeded in its hallucinatory and murderous venom only by the truly deranged way in which the media and intelligentsia systematically either ignored evidence that did not fit this narrative or, even more astoundingly, reported it in such a way that it delivered the opposite of what was actually happening or being said.
In this way not only has history been rewritten, not only have Britain and America been to a greater or lesser extent turned against themselves and demoralised by the propaganda of their mortal enemies recycled as truth by our fifth-column Big Media, but they have been incited to an ugly and dangerous level of irrationality, hatred and hysteria which history tells us presages the twilight of freedom. It is that media class which, in refusing to tell the public what it needs to know about Barack Obama, may now finally install in the White House the man who personifies the repudiation of the American power and western values that the media and left-wing intelligentsia (of which the media is the mouthpiece) have themselves spared no effort to destroy these past seven years.
Further down, deeply disturbing information about Obama and Palestinian terrorist Rashid Khalili:
Now look at this. Back in April, the LA Times ran this story reporting on the going-away party for Rashid Khalidi, Obama’s close friend, who justifies Palestinian violence against Israel and who was leaving for a job in New York. Khalidi is a deeply troubling individual, a former PLO operative and close friend of unreprentant former Weatherman terrorist William Ayers. As I have reported before, in 2000 Khalidi and his wife Mona held a fundraiser for Obama’s unsuccessful congressional bid. The next year, an Arab group whose board was headed by Mona Khalidi received a $40,000 grant from the Woods Fund of Chicago when Obama was on the fund’s board of directors.
Click here for the complete article:
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:03 AM | Comments (13)
October 26, 2008
Best of the Jewish Blogosphere #188
“Honey, after I dig out this bullet, can we read Haveil Havalim?”
Haveil Havalim #188 is up and live hosted this week by the very witty What War Zone.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:16 AM | Comments (0)
October 24, 2008
Teaneck Footwear Plus My Dougie's Flip-Out
So: we're back in Los Angeles. Visiting with our girlses for Chol Ha Moed Succos was revitalizing and, um, fattening. When Offspring #2 and #3 get busy in the kitchen—watch out ye mortal Jews.
But between the joy of Succos and spending time with our granddaughter Ma'ayan Ariel, your faithful correspondent noticed that the girlses are, unbenownst to moi, stocking up on—you guessed it—footwear.
“Okay, Offspring #2, how about modeling the new shoes for posterity.”
“Do I have to?”
I shoot her my most vulnerable and pitiful look.
“Okaaaay.”
“Let's go outside, the light's great at this time of day.”
“Do I have to schlep outside, Daddy?”
“Okay, we'll do some inside and a few in the hallway. I love the pre-war tile.”
Elegant but understated low heeled pumps with
just-barely-revealing Venetian blind slots—very Art Deco.
I've dubbed these: Sandra Dee Dances the Cha-Cha With
Troy Donahue.
These boots belong to Offspring #3, but as
you can see (?) Offspring #2 is modeling and lusting
for these Brian De Palma Dressed to Kill boots.
Beware, the girlses are each working out ruthless
Ho Chi Minh ownership strategies.
Behold, history in the making as Ma'ayan Ariel gingerly
steps into her first footwear. There's something very Japonisme
going on here. Pretty in buttery power pink, with adorable
pleated bow tie caps. But Ma'ayan Ariel gnashes her teeth
and wails:“I want my Christian Louboutin,
it's my birthright!” Patience, child, patience.
As our regular readers know, I like signs. Walking near
Offspring #2's apartment I spotted this restaurant and gee, it looks
like it belongs on my home turf, somewhere on Melrose where LC
and her Jimmy Choo-clad crew will discuss how best to disembowel
the evil Spencer.
More than a great sign, Dougie's is, for me, a shrine,
an ultimate destination. On the flight over I had visions of a
massive, juicy Dougie's Deluxe Burger with Portabello Mushroom.
We landed in NY and I immediately asked Offspring #2, who picked us up:
“Is Dougie's open?” OS #2 looked at me with a worried expression:
“Daddy, it's 11 at night.” I'm like: “Does that mean it's closed?” Patient as a
kindergarten teacher: “Yes, daddy.” Next morning: “What time does
Dougie's open?” My wonderful son-in-law, a Dougie's maven says,
“Eleven AM.” I sit and stare at the clock. I'm out the door at five to.
In Dougie's I inhale the aroma and really I should be arrested for
imbibing a dangerous drug. I order my burger Deluxe and then peek
in the back to make sure there's a Succah. Jewish law requires that
all meals be eaten in the Succah. My heart skips a beat. I run to the
front and in outrage shout: “Where's the Succah?” The little wretch
behind the counter tells me they don't have one. I sputter: “I just flew
all the way from Los Angeles!” Wretched Kid looks at me as if I might be the
craziest person he has ever encountered. Alas, he's probably right. My molars
are aching. Plus, there's a thick blue vein—like a worm—throbbing Alien-like
in my neck. Wretched Kid, I'm praying for restraint. “Fine,” I growl,
“I'll take it to go, but you should give me a discount you know.”
Wretched Kid actually looks like he's reaching for the phone
to dial 911. “Or, um, throw in a few pickles.”
I power walk back to the apartment complex, sit myself down
in the communal Succah and—oh joy—even at room temperature
my Deluxe Portabello Burger and crispy fries are perfect.
Just perfect. I love Teaneck. Seriously.
The Teaneck Gardens (not a garden in sight) Communal Succha
where I devoured my Dougie's Burger and where we ate all our meals.
By the way, the Succah represents the Clouds of Glory that followed
the Children of Israel through the desert after the Exodus.
Thus each and every holiday meal has a mysterious, brain flipping taste.
Delicious food prepared by my girlses becomes even more delicious.
Yes, the simple but holy architecture of the Succah infuses every delicate
morsel with off-the-scale, savory, mouth-watering tastes,
and yours truly can often be heard emitting a series of
embarrassing and unnatural visceral moans.
Karen and I wish all our friends and relatives a restful and meaningful Shabbat.
And hey, just have to pass on this information about Obama and his buddy the Jew-hating Palestinian terrorist. Hmm, Obama has a lot of Jew-hating friends. But, hey Jews will vote for BO anyway because American Jews consider it a sin to vote in their self-interests.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:49 AM | Comments (9)
October 23, 2008
Farewell N.Y. Times
Outraged by the porous journalistic ethics of the New York Times, Karen e-mailed the following letter to their editors and circulation department:
I have subscribed to your newspaper for many years but I can no longer trust your news reportage as unbiased since your radical leftist politics permeate every aspect of your newspaper from fashion to book reviews. The final straw was the slanderous, mean spirited, front page article on Cindy McCain. Every day I open your paper to the so-called "corrections" which are really more apologies for sloppy journalism that has omitted or distorted information to suit the viewpoint of your arch leftist reporters.
I just can't read your newspaper with good conscious anymore. You distort science articles on global warming, justify Islamic terror, libel the State of Israel, glorify the death cult society of the Palestinians, and resort to character assassination in the current election. I can no longer subscribe to your paper so please cancel my subscription.
Karen Avrech, Ph.D.
Clearly, Wall Street agrees with Karen about the value of the N.Y Times. At this rate, the NYT will, ahem, wither away and end up on the ash heap of history.
The NY Times splashed Colin Powell's endorsement of Barack Obama all over its front page, but of course they neglected to mention this endorsement.
Here is the comprehensive argument against Barack Obama. Essential reading.
And finally, another story you won't find in the NY Times, because, well, you know, it's a "distraction:" Obama's buddy American terrorist Bill Ayers dedicated his blood-thirsty, Communist manifesto Prairie Fire to, among others, Palestinian terrorist Sirhan Sirhan.
I dunno, when I was a child, my parents told me not to play with certain bad kids because they would influence me whether I knew it or not.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:21 AM | Comments (14)
October 20, 2008
Obama Campaign Against Free Speech in the Jewish Community
The Obama campaign is using every tool at its disposal to ban the Republican Jewish Coalition from speaking to the public. My friend Omri Ceren of Mere Rhetoric has posted an extensively researched and meticulously cited expose on how this tactic is part and parcel of the Obama campaign's attack on dissent and free speech.
Obama shill Mel Levine has never been shy about throwing around his AIPAC credentials. That's a good strategy given how his pro-Obama arguments are mindbogglingly stupid, but it does beg a question: given how the Obama campaign is on the attack against AIPAC, aren't Levine's credentials kind of a bad thing? Maybe someone should ask him about that. Not a Republican though, because they're not allowed:
What actually happened is that the Obama campaign demanded that the CIC [Council of Israeli Community in Los Angeles] ban Greenfield from the debate as a condition for their participation. They're doing the same thing all over the country: no preconditions for meeting Iran but thuggish demands before they'll sit down with American Jews. And they're getting really good at this game: have someone spend months organizing a non-partisan event, pull their people out right at the end, and then shriek about partisanship. The only thing left is for them to threaten legal action. Then it would be a perfect replay of how they detonated the anti-Ahmadinejad rally.
To read the complete article, please click here.
Meanwhile, the Democrats are busy trying to destroy Joe the Plumber. You see he had the chuitzpah to ask Obama a question.
Karen and I wish all our friends and relatives an inspiring Shemini Atzeret and a joyous Simchat Torah.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:07 AM | Comments (7)
October 19, 2008
Best of the Jewish Blogosphere #187, Sukkot 5769
Mary Astor says: “Without my weekly dose of Haveil Havalim, I turn deeply self-destructive.”
Haveil Havalim #187, The Succot 5769 Edition is up and live, and hosted this week by I'll Call Baila.
We'd like to thank Baila for including Seraphic Secret's The Last Kaddish: Redux in this week's most excellent round-up.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:48 AM | Comments (2)
October 17, 2008
Ma'ayan says: Hiya!
Karen and I are in Teaneck with Offspring #2, her wonderful husband, and our granddaughter Ma'ayan Ariel.
Ma'ayan says: “Now I'm famous!”
We wish a beautiful Shabbat and a joyous Moed to all our friends.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 05:55 AM | Comments (22)
October 16, 2008
Packing, Traveling, Enjoying
Karen has packing lists for every eventuality. She's got lists for trips to NY, lists for trips to Florida, lists for trips to Israel, lists of lists.
The love of my life is organized.
Days before we're set to depart, I schlep our suitcases down from the high shelf in the closet and Karen goes to work.
Me, I just watch in awe, and think about packing.
Says Karen: “I always overpack, and then on the last day, I edit.”
Last night, Karen, the recognized packing champ in the family Avrech, stepped into Offspring # 3's bedroom—OS #3 has been home, on High Holiday vacation from Stern College—and sank to the floor before an enormous suitcase.
I stood in the doorway and watched Karen and our youngest daughter huddle, discuss various items of clothing, then fold and carefully place each piece, like jewels, in the case.
Offspring # 3, hardly a timid or retiring young lady, sat cross-legged on the floor and allowed Karen to take charge.
No matter how old our children grow, they are always our children, and a central, built-in sense of trust floods their system.
I stood in the doorway and watched item after item pile up in the suitcase which is, I kid you not, the size of Albania.
Where did all these clothes come from?
Hey, I never saw those shoes! Gotta grab my camera and —
I didn't watch the debate. Obama and his Jewish enablers are far too, well, far gone.
I didn't read the NY Times, AKA Pravda-on-the Hudson.
I didn't catch up on all the blogs I regularly devour.
I need a respite from all the clamor.
No, I just stood in the doorway and smiled as my girlses packed.
It is during simple, everyday moments like this I experience hope, I experience joy.
We're flying east today to visit with Offspring #2, her wonderful husband, and our lovely granddaughter Ma'ayan Ariel. I'll do my best to blog while away.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:27 AM | Comments (4)
October 13, 2008
Dwelling in my Hollywood Succah
The Avrech Succah. A temporary dwelling.
I was asked to attend a script conference tomorrow, Tuesday morning. I told the producer that it was a Jewish holiday and I couldn't attend.
“Wait, the holidays are over, your Yom Kee-pur just ended, right?”
“Uh, yeah, but now we have Succot, Shemini Atzeret and then Simchat Torah.”
“No disrespect, but you are kidding, tell me you're kidding.”
“Sorry.”
“Let me get back to you.”
An hour later the producer, not Jewish—truly bright, creative and decent—calls back.
“I asked all the Jews in the company and they're drawing a blank.”
“Right. Well, I'm not surprised. Look, lemme send you a few links and then get back to me.”
“Hey, I believe you. Just tell me when we can have our sit-down?”
I suggest a day and time.
“Robert?”
“Yeah?”
“I respect your commitment. I really do. But tell me, how come none of the Jews in the company know what I'm talking about?”
I sigh.
I am sad.
“Tell me something, did all you guys go to the big Obama rally here in town?”
“Sure, of course.”
“Well, most secular American Jews believe feverishly in Obama, or the Democratic party, or Global Warming. In the past they believed in Socialism, Communism—most any 'ism' but Judaism. It's just how it goes.”
“Harsh stuff, Robert.”
“Not as harsh as what happens to Jews under all the isms.”
And via my good friend, Dirty Harry, screeenwriter Andrew Klavan calls for regime change in Hollywood.
Karen and I wish all our friends a joyous and deeply meaningful Succot.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:09 AM | Comments (22)
October 08, 2008
The Last Kaddish, Redux
Ariel ZT'L, on his Bar Mitzvah, 1994
On Yom Kippur, Karen, the girls and I will be reciting Yizkor, "Remember" the memorial prayer, for Ariel ZT'L. I am taking this opportunity to publish, once again, with minor editing, a short piece I wrote, back in 2004, when the period of official mourning was over and I recited my last Kaddish. This piece is particularly appropriate because Yizkor on Yom Kippur is, for me, an abrupt and almost unbearable plunge into the abyss—the physical loss of our beloved son.
The Kaddish has been called an echo of The Book of Job:
“Though He slay me, yet will I trust in him.”
The Kaddish is an expression of faith on the part of the mourner that although he is grief-stricken, he still believes in God, still trusts in the meaning of life. It is the ultimate anti-existentialist statement. Karen and I will mourn forever. We are riven, from now until the end of our lives. Our son will always be dead, and a central portion of our lives died with him.
This Shabbos I recite the last Kaddish of the eleven months of mourning for Ariel.
I stand in shul, eyes closed, swaying back and forth, chanting the words with—I hope—perfect diction and true feeling. I want the b'racha, the prayer, to go on forever. I want to stretch the words like a giant rubber band and make them reach from earth to heaven.
There are at least another dozen mourners in shul, all with much louder voices than mine, but I hear only one sound.
Is this my voice?
I see Ariel as he once was: beside me in shul where I study the delicate architecture of his face. I melt as Ariel's lips move, savoring each syllable, whispering the sacred Hebrew text.
Is this me?
I study his long tapering fingers as they turn the pages of the siddur. I lean over and bury my lips in the plush groove of his neck.
It is my voice.
Close to the end of the prayer now...
It is my son.
I take three measured steps back and three reluctant steps forward. I finish the Kaddish, open my eyes and discover a dozen men in shul gazing at me. Some have tears in their eyes. Several nod, tacitly acknowledging the finality of the moment.
I open my eyes and I see light. I open my eyes and I am swimming through layers of memory. I open my eyes and I see splendor. I open my eyes and I see my son, my son, Ariel.
And here is the standard translation of the Kaddish from Aramaic to English.
Glorified and sanctified be God's great name throughout the world which He has created according to His will. May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon; and say, Amen.
May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity.
Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen.
May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.
He who creates peace in His celestial heights, may He create peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.Karen and I wish our friends and family a meaningful fast, and a G'mar Chatima Tova, May You be Inscribed for the Book of Life.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:14 AM | Comments (18)
October 07, 2008
McCain Hammers Obama—Finally
It's about time.
Hat Tip: Wolf Howling
Smoking Gun Alert! Read about Obama's attempts to destroy the Second Amendment.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 04:20 PM | Comments (5)
Yom Kippur Headache
“Yom Kippur” by Maurycy Gottlieb
I always get a ferocious migraine when, as an observant Jew, I fast five times a year. The Yom Kippur fast is easily the most difficult because we spend all day in shul davening, praying. At some point, the migraine gets so bad that I can no longer concentrate on my prayers. I just work at managing the pain which involves:
1. Donning sunglasses to shield my eyes from the glare of light; light that feels remarkably like red hot pokers sunk deeply into the base of my neck. On the plus side I look like a totally cool Hollywood dude in my shades.
2. Moving my neck—slowly—back and forth, from side to side, in an attempt to loosen up the spinal muscles which are seizing up like pistons that have not been oiled in a decade.
3. Fighting the rising nausea by working very hard not to think about food. This almost always fails miserably. Hence, the nausea gets far worse.
4. Realizing what a complete pussy I am because if I were a prisoner in, say, Auschwitz, what would I do about my migraines? I mean, the Nazi guards wouldn't exactly feel my pain and my local kapo would probably just send me to the 'showers' because my kvetching was just so annoying. I happen to know an amazing survivor here in Los Angeles who was on a death march when he was 14-years old and carried, get this, his older and heavier and taller brother on his back for over 70 miles. No food. No water. No bathroom breaks. Nazi guards shooting and bayoneting Jews left and right. And when this great man tells me about surviving the death march, schlepping his older and heavier and taller brother in the broiling heat for over 70 miles—I drive four blocks for dinner at Pico Kosher Deli—and I ask him how he did it, he just shrugs and says: “I did it, what's there to talk about?” So really, I guess what I'm saying is: good thing I'm a happy-go-lucky Hollywood screenwriter w/migraines and not a Jewish prisoner in Auschwitz w/migraines.
5. When the pain reaches Def-Con Level 1—Def-Con 5 is standard peace time alert; Level 1 is: bye-bye to civilizations as we know it. America was on Def-Con 3 at the outbreak of the Yom Kippur War, and again at 9-11—I start wondering if I'm being punished by G-d with these migraines because I'm like the worst person on planet earth.
6. Seriously.
7. I think about other stuff—weird stuff—that comes into my throbbing skull like steel rain, but these thoughts, fever dreams, hallucinations, what-have-you, are far too insane to report in any detail for fear of losing my reader's patience and respect.
Anyhoo.
There might be relief in sight. Naturally, from Jewish doctors in Israel.
Based on the verse in the Book of Leviticus that "You shall afflict your souls," many people believe that Yom Kippur is a day of suffering. But the rabbis disagree, saying you're not meant to suffer, but rather to ignore the physical and focus on the spiritual.
If you get a headache, they argue, you can't adequately concentrate on your sins and repentance.
Thus headaches on the the Day of Atonement are unnecessary, says Dr. Zev (Jeremy) Wimpfheimer, a senior physician in the emergency medicine department of Jerusalem's Shaare Zedek Medical Center. Wimpfheimer is testing a drug which, taken in pill form before the fast, will hopefully prevent those fasting from developing a headache. He wants about 200 people to try it before the onset of the 25-hour fast Wednesday evening.
To read the complete article, please click here.
And this important announcement from Jonathan Feldstein, a fine man I met while spending Shabbat in Efrat during my Nefesh B'Nefesh visit.
Please join the American Friends of Magen David Adom at a blood drive in on Sunday October 19 from 9:00 AM to 1:00PM at the Inbal Hotel, 3 Jabotinsky St., Jerusalem.
We urge all those who will be in Israel this holiday season, or at any other time, or if you know others who will be there, to participate. This is a season marked by increased demand and decreased supply of blood, and every pint of blood can save up to three lives.
Moreover, someone will be the 1000th donor for the year, the first time more than 1000 tourists have donated blood in a year in Israel through AFMDA.
For information on who is eligible to participate, please contact Jonathan Feldstein at israeloffice@afmda.org, or visit www.afmda.org.
There is no more meaningful way to do something hands-on to benefit all Israelis.
Please forward this to others and to share with tourists who will be in the country.
All the best,
Jonathan Feldstein
Israel Representative
American Friends of Magen David Adom
jfeldstein@afmda.org
057-761-4220
SAVING LIVES IN ISRAEL
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:51 AM | Comments (16)
October 06, 2008
The Ad Obama is Trying to Ban
Barack Obama's handlers are desperately trying to get this ad banned. Good to know that liberals support free speech, but only when it's convenient.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 12:32 PM | Comments (6)
What Just Happened?
John McCain and Sarah Palin need to go on the offensive immediately about the sub-prime crisis. This crisis was engineered by the Democrats in order to make it possible for marginal borrowers to own homes. All in the name of, you know, social justice.
But when social justice leads to world-wide financial chaos, well, it's not justice, it's just destructive PC stupidity.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:06 AM | Comments (3)
October 05, 2008
J-Pix is Back
Charlton Heston commands you to look
upon J-Pix.
J-Pix has been resurrected.
Yup, this is photography by Jewish Bloggers from the four corners of the earth.
Here's J-Pix #19, the Indivisible and Rather Zaftig Edition.
We'd like to thank Me-Ander for including Seraphic Secret's My Beautiful Neighborhood, Part II in this handsome round-up.
Let's not forget Haveil Havalim #185, presented by Writes Like She Talks. Our post Seraphic Secret's Secret Sofer is not so secretly featured in this crisp round-up of the Best of the Jewish Blogosphere. Thanks so much.
And here's Samantha Powers, senior foreign policy adviser to Barack Obama, proposing an invasion of Israel to impose a Palestinian state even if it means alienating an "influential constituency" in America.
Translation: Jooz are the problem.
Yup, under an Obama administration this is the woman slated to be National Security Advisor.
Hat Tip: Joshua Pundit
And from the "moderate" United Arab Emirates this charming cartoon showing The U.S., The Jew, and the sign says, The Middle East.
Source: Al-Bayan, UAE, via Memri
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 10:40 AM | Comments (29)
October 03, 2008
Meet the Seraphic Secret Girlses From a Distinctly but Purposefully Skewed Angle, Part II
As I explained in Part I, I started taking snapshots of the my girlses footwear when they balked at posing for regular portraits. The girlses claimed that they didn't look good. That they were having a bad hair day. That they weren't wearing any make-up. That I was soooo annoying.
Whatever.
After snapping over a dozen shoe shots, I realized in a stunning rush of clarity that women's footwear reveals moods and depths of emotion that faces can disguise. And so I try and shoot every new purchase. The album makes for a detailed journey, over the years, through the complex inner-life of three lovely ladies.
Here then, a few more portraits of my girlses in their footwear.
During her high school years, Offspring #2 often wore
colorful socks with plain black footwear.
Karen favors can't-go-wrong black pumps for shul
and evening wear.
Offspring #3 gets all comfy in butter-soft mocassins.
For a close friend's backyard wedding, Offspring #2 slipped into
deeply fashionable lizard skin pumps.
Karen's retro black and white saddle shoes make me think of
Hollywood in the 30's. Good times.
Fashionable sandals are hard to find, but Offspring #3
discovered a perfect Southern California look.
Okay, not footwear, but Offspring #2's wild toe-socks
just begged to be photographed for posterity.
Here's Karen and yours truly at a dinner for something-or-other.
And yes, last night was the Palin-Biden debate. Dutifully, Karen and I watched. My blood pressure shot up to dangerous levels as Biden told whopper after whopper. France kicked Hizbullah out of Lebanon? What's he talking about? Hizbullah, Iran's proxie, has been in Lebanon for over 25 years. Anywhoo, Joshua Pundit does an admirable job of dissecting the debate.
Karen and I wish all our friends a lovely and meaningful Shabbat.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:55 AM | Comments (8)
October 02, 2008
...And the Financial Crisis is a Surprise Why?
Note that this is a New York Times article from Sept. 1999 about lowering credit standards, thanks to Bill Clinton, Franklin Raines—now Obama's financial advisor)—and Freddie / Fannie.
Barney Frank is also up to his neck in this crisis. Watching him and Chris Dodd pose before the cameras is infuriating. They should both be tarred and feathered.
And our friend Wolf Howling links to an excellent article detailing the history of the left's guilty hand in the current sub-prime crisis.
You see, if you voiced opposition to these sub-prime loans you were branded a rascist. And now, if you dare oppose the radical leftists policies of Barack Obama, well, you're also a rascist.
Fannie Mae Eases Credit To Aid Mortgage Lending
By STEVEN A. HOLMES
Published: September 30, 1999
In a move that could help increase home ownership rates among minorities and low-income consumers, the Fannie Mae Corporation is easing the credit requirements on loans that it will purchase from banks and other lenders.
The action, which will begin as a pilot program involving 24 banks in 15 markets -- including the New York metropolitan region -- will encourage those banks to extend home mortgages to individuals whose credit is generally not good enough to qualify for conventional loans. Fannie Mae officials say they hope to make it a nationwide program by next spring.
Fannie Mae, the nation's biggest underwriter of home mortgages, has been under increasing pressure from the Clinton Administration to expand mortgage loans among low and moderate income people and felt pressure from stock holders to maintain its phenomenal growth in profits.
In addition, banks, thrift institutions and mortgage companies have been pressing Fannie Mae to help them make more loans to so-called subprime borrowers. These borrowers whose incomes, credit ratings and savings are not good enough to qualify for conventional loans, can only get loans from finance companies that charge much higher interest rates -- anywhere from three to four percentage points higher than conventional loans.
''Fannie Mae has expanded home ownership for millions of families in the 1990's by reducing down payment requirements,'' said Franklin D. Raines, Fannie Mae's chairman and chief executive officer. ''Yet there remain too many borrowers whose credit is just a notch below what our underwriting has required who have been relegated to paying significantly higher mortgage rates in the so-called subprime market.''
Demographic information on these borrowers is sketchy. But at least one study indicates that 18 percent of the loans in the subprime market went to black borrowers, compared to 5 per cent of loans in the conventional loan market.
In moving, even tentatively, into this new area of lending, Fannie Mae is taking on significantly more risk, which may not pose any difficulties during flush economic times. But the government-subsidized corporation may run into trouble in an economic downturn, prompting a government rescue similar to that of the savings and loan industry in the 1980's.
''From the perspective of many people, including me, this is another thrift industry growing up around us,'' said Peter Wallison a resident fellow at the American Enterprise Institute. ''If they fail, the government will have to step up and bail them out the way it stepped up and bailed out the thrift industry.''(bold type by Seraphic Secret)
Under Fannie Mae's pilot program, consumers who qualify can secure a mortgage with an interest rate one percentage point above that of a conventional, 30-year fixed rate mortgage of less than $240,000 -- a rate that currently averages about 7.76 per cent. If the borrower makes his or her monthly payments on time for two years, the one percentage point premium is dropped.
Fannie Mae, the nation's biggest underwriter of home mortgages, does not lend money directly to consumers. Instead, it purchases loans that banks make on what is called the secondary market. By expanding the type of loans that it will buy, Fannie Mae is hoping to spur banks to make more loans to people with less-than-stellar credit ratings.
Fannie Mae officials stress that the new mortgages will be extended to all potential borrowers who can qualify for a mortgage. But they add that the move is intended in part to increase the number of minority and low income home owners who tend to have worse credit ratings than non-Hispanic whites.
Home ownership has, in fact, exploded among minorities during the economic boom of the 1990's. The number of mortgages extended to Hispanic applicants jumped by 87.2 per cent from 1993 to 1998, according to Harvard University 's Joint Center for Housing Studies.
During that same period the number of African Americans who got mortgages to buy a home increased by 71.9 per cent and the number of Asian Americans by 46.3 per cent.
In contrast, the number of non-Hispanic whites who received loans for homes increased by 31.2 per cent.
Despite these gains, home ownership rates for minorities continue to lag behind non-Hispanic whites, in part because blacks and Hispanics in particular tend to have on average worse credit ratings.
In July, the Department of Housing and Urban Development proposed that by the year 2001, 50 percent of Fannie Mae's and Freddie Mac's portfolio be made up of loans to low and moderate-income borrowers. Last year, 44 percent of the loans Fannie Mae purchased were from these groups.
The change in policy also comes at the same time that HUD is investigating allegations of racial discrimination in the automated underwriting systems used by Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to determine the credit-worthiness of credit applicants.
Hat Tip: Dr. Peter Stevenson
Meanwhile more Weathermen terrorists declare support for Obama.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 03:48 AM | Comments (12)
October 01, 2008
Quiet: I Kill You!
Word is that Jeff Dunham's hysterical comedy act “Achmed The Dead Terrorist” offends some Muslims. Translation: Terrorist enablers are looking to stifle free speech.
Reason enough to go to the videotape:
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 10:37 PM | Comments (4)