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January 27, 2009
There Are Cults and There Are Cults
Corbusier Pony Skin Lounger. But viewed in a different light—a Tallis Bag.
I'm in LAX.
Karen was in Teaneck for Shabbos visiting Offspring #2, her wonderful husband, and our beautiful granddaughter Ma'yan Ariel.
Now, I'm picking up Karen and her mother, who will be staying with us for a few weeks, escaping the frigid East—oh man, that sinister global warming is using cold to trick us—and relaxing in laid back L.A.
Before getting on the plane, Karen phones to tell me—I can hear her smiling on the phone—that the Satmar Rebbe is on her flight.
Says Karen: “He's carrying an amazing Tallis bag, it looks like pony hide, very Corbusier.”
“I wonder where he got it.”
“Oh, it's probably custom made, I've never seen anything like it.”
Funny, I've been thinking of buying myself a new bag. My thirty-year old Tallis bag is shredding, but I'm reluctant to retire the poor but loyal velvet pouch. We've been through so much together.
I'm like, “Hey, go over to the Rebbe and ask him where he got the bag, and get a b'racha—a blessing—while you're at it.”
Karen goes: “Oh nooooo, I can't. Besides the Rebbe is sitting in first class.”
“So walk into first class and —”
“No, we're not allowed.”
I'm thinking this is the perfect set-up for a Monty Python sketch: The peasants are revolting, etc.
Karen and I have been separated for three days and already I'm half out of my mind with lack of sleep. During the night, I wake up every hour on the hour, look to the other side of the bed and it's empty. I get all panicky and dry-mouthed and have this fantasy that by going away Karen realizes just how little she needs me and decides not to return to yours truly.
Abandonment issues. Don't ask.
Interpolation: President Obama and the Cult of Personality
The magazine racks in LAX are all Obama, I think even Popular Mechanics have contrived to put the 44th President and Michelle on the cover.
This messianic fervor is kind of disturbing.
The left have always indulged in the worst excesses of the lunatic cult of personality: Marx, Lenin, Hitler, Stalin, Ho Chi Minh, Mao. International figures.
But now, a genuine home-grown cult—Obama worship—has emerged. From the slobbering coverage of Obama from the New York Times—their stock has achieved junk bond status, quite an accomplishment—to the politically horizontal limousine liberals of Hollywood, plus I don't know how many covers on Time, Newsweek and People. This republic is in the grip of intellectual collapse, a cult of personality that should, for any sane people, be a source of deep embarrassment.
Personally, I'm a bit confused by the Obama cult, especially coming from Jews. I know this sounds all close-minded, but a man who spends some twenty plus years in an avowedly racist, Jew-hating, America-hating church is morally kinda compromised
But hey, I'm not as sophisticated as liberals.
A word of caution about Obama worship.
These things never end well. And I can pretty much guarantee that the Obama years will turn into: Jimmy Carter, Take II.
End Interpolation and…
Back to the Rebbe, more specifically, the Rebbe's Tallis bag .
So I'm in LAX, on shpilkes—Yiddish: pins and needles—waiting for the love of my life to come through the revolving doors, when three Hasidim חסידות סאטמאר enter the terminal and stand nearby. They're all chatting in Yiddish on their Apple i-phones and Blackberry's. I edge closer, the total yenta, expecting to overhear words of Torah and wisdom, but no, the Hasidim are yakking away with their buddies or wives, kvelling—Yiddish: boasting—about what a z'chus, positive energy, it is to pick up the Rebbe.
I know how they feel, picking up Karen, I mean: big z'chus.
Obviously, they're Satmar Hasidim, because they're wearing those neat calf-length trousers and the black slip-ons that strongly resemble Dolce Gabbana metrosexual flats.
“Is this where the plane from New York is coming?” One of the Hasidim asks me.
I'm wearing my black velvet yarmulke so it's safe to talk to me.
“Yup.”
“Is it on time?”
“Uh-huh. Are you waiting for the Satmar Rebbe?”
Huge smile. “Yes, yes, how did you know?” The Hasid is delighted.
“My wife is on the flight and she called to tell me.”
“Does your wife feel safer knowing that the Rebbe is on the same flight?”
I chuckle and extend my hand, introducing myself.
“So listen, my wife was telling me that the Rebbe carries a beautiful Tallis bag…”
By now the other two Hasidim have holstered their phones and drifted over to take part in our conversation.
The Hasidim exchange bright and amused looks;
One Hasid says: “Oh yes, the Rebbe's tallis bag…”
Second Hasid: “Somebody once asked to pet the tallis bag…”
Third Hasid chuckles and twines his fingers through his corkscrew style peyes, which are super long, silky—he's gotta use really expensive conditioner—and reach his shoulders.
I want peyes like that.
“So is the bag custom made?”
“No, no, you can buy it in a store.”
“Really, I've never seen one like it.”
“Maybe only stores in Williamsburg carry them,” suggests Big Peyes Hasid.
A few minutes later, the Satmar Rebbe and his entourage appear.
I step forward to get a closer look. The Tallis bag is the only luggage the Rebbe is carrying.
Wow, Karen's right. It's a beauty. Black and white pony skin—massive nose thumb at PETA—classic Corbusier, the Jewish edition.
I'm about to introduce myself to the Satmar Rebbe: Welcome to L.A. and, uh, by the way, Rebbe, where did you get that fashion forward Tallis bag?
Then Karen, in movie slow motion—think Bo Derek in 10—slides through the revolving doors and my cult of personality for the Satmar Rebbe and his awesome Tallis bag all but disappears in favor of the woman who I've been in love with since I was nine-years old.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at January 27, 2009 11:23 AM
Comments
Seraphic Secret is private property, that's right, it's an extension of our home, and as such, Karen and I have instituted two Seraphic Rules and we ask commentors to act respectfully.
1. No profanity.2. No Israel bashing. We debate, we discuss, we are respectful. You know what Israel bashing is. The world is full of it. Seraphic Secret is one of the few places in the world that will not tolerate this form of anti-Semitism. That's it. Break either of these rules and you will be banned.
!
Does that mean you didn't ask!? Inquiring minds really wanted to know...! :)
Posted by: Ezzie at January 27, 2009 01:38 PM
Robert- you can get the tallis bag at most jewish bookstores on the east coast- it is very rebbeish- I met the Stropkover Rebbe (from Israel) in Baltimore and he had the same bag as well. If you need me to order you one let me know :-).
Posted by: Michael at January 27, 2009 01:42 PM
How can a tallis bag be made of pony if horse is not kosher? Just askin'. I would have expected cow, goat, sheep or the like.
Posted by: Mojo at January 27, 2009 01:42 PM
It's cowhide. People from rebbishe mishpachos often use them.
Posted by: kishke at January 27, 2009 03:43 PM
I think that there's a wonderful short story in this to take you beyond your blog. Ride with it!
Hope your mother-in-law is doing well, too.
Posted by: Pearl at January 27, 2009 04:10 PM
“So listen, my wife was telling me that the Rebbe carries a beautiful Tallis bag…”
well,here are some ordinary leather ones: (after all, you're only a hollywood screenwriter, not a Rebbe,
really, one shouldn't ask from crowns that don't become them ... ;-) )
http://www.aidyarts.com/files/Leather%20Moroccan%20Tallis%20bag.htm
http://www.1800eichlers.com/search.asp?s=Xiuyzn579334&strKeywords=Tallis+bag&submit=%BB
but,if you really had your heart set on a designer pony black and white reminiscent of a 'Gateway' computer look, then, you can have any leather design Tallis bag custom made for you ...
http://www.yadleatherart.com/about.asp
(am curious if you were given a Silver Atara
as part of the Techailess Tallis
some are very for, or very against, the Silver custom)
Posted by: exdemexlib at January 27, 2009 04:58 PM
I half expected to see the Satmars sporting a hat like Aretha Franklin.
Posted by: Jack at January 27, 2009 06:45 PM
Robert you gotta explain to us gentiles (a) what a Rebbe is and 9b) a Tallis bag is...On to Google
Posted by: Bill Brandt at January 27, 2009 07:32 PM
"he's gotta use really expensive conditioner"
on ave m there is a nail/hair salon with a price list in the window that includes payis styling on the price list. i've been meaning to get a picture and post it.
Posted by: Lion of Zion at January 27, 2009 07:50 PM
Bill:
Rebbe = Hasidic Grand Rabbi
Tallis = Prayer Shawl.
Tallis Bag = A bag in which to store and carry your prayer shawl
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.seraphicpress.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at January 27, 2009 08:07 PM
Ezzie:
Nope, did not ask. My one chance to hang with the Satmar Rebbe and I blow it.
Typical.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at January 27, 2009 08:10 PM
Michael:
I found it on-line, thanks so much. But I'm not a Rebbe, so I'm not sure the look is right for me.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at January 27, 2009 08:13 PM
Robert - I think the look is perfect for you...and imo not Rebbish looking at all.
I'll bet the Rebbe never figured on being the subject of a blog post :)
Posted by: mata hari at January 28, 2009 04:21 AM
You can't let the Tallis bag wear you. I think they said that on What Not to Wear last week.
Posted by: Alice at January 28, 2009 05:17 AM
Why do urban hipsters live in areas adjacent to Hasidic communities? There is that whole Williamsberg thing in Brooklyn, and there is the whole thing of Stamford Hill/Clapton in London being just north of Hackney and Shoreditch. It's deeply puzzling....
Posted by: Michael Jennings at January 28, 2009 07:13 AM
"Nope, did not ask. My one chance to hang with the Satmar Rebbe and I blow it.
Typical."
Ahh, but YOU got to hang with (or maybe the kids today say "hook up" with) Karen... you win! :-)
Posted by: ProphetJoe at January 28, 2009 07:32 AM
Getting off the topic of the tallis bag and unto the omnipresent Obama, even my six-year-old daughter was complaining this morning, "Why is everything Obama, Obama, Obama" as she tried to search for a My Little Pony video on YouTube.
Posted by: Leora at January 28, 2009 08:03 AM
Robert - but don't lose track of the underlying theme of your blog - that everything traces back to Algeria.
Here's part of Courb's bio:
Politics
Le Corbusier moved increasingly to the far right of French politics in the 1930s. He associated with Georges Valois and Hubert Lagardelle and briefly edited the syndicalist journal Prélude. In 1934, he lectured on architecture in Rome by invitation of Benito Mussolini. He sought out a position in urban planning in the Vichy regime and received an appointment on a committee studying urbanism. He drew up plans for the redesign of Algiers in which he criticised the perceived differences in living standards between Europeans and Africans in the city, describing a situation in which "the 'civilised' live like rats in holes" yet "the 'barbarians' live in solitude, in well-being."[9] These and plans for the redesign of other cities were ultimately ignored. After this defeat, Le Corbusier largely eschewed politics.
Posted by: Real Name at January 28, 2009 08:28 AM
Jack:
Unlike Aretha, the Satmar have good taste, their streimel's are awesome.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at January 28, 2009 10:23 AM
Pearl:
I'm satisfied just writing for poor, humble Seraphic Secret.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at January 28, 2009 10:41 AM
Exdem:
No silver atara. The t'cheles were more than enough.
Thanks for the links.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at January 28, 2009 10:44 AM
Lion:
Peyes styling, this I gotta see. Send pic, fast!
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at January 28, 2009 10:49 AM
Mata Hari:
I dunno. I'm so not rebbeish, not even yeshivish. I think the guys in shul would laugh at me if I walked in with a Rebbe style Tallis bag.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at January 28, 2009 10:55 AM
Alice:
I should really get in touch with What Not to Wear and ask them to do a segment on stylish tallis bags. Y'know, should they match your shoes, etc.
I'll bet Stacy would go for it in a big way.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at January 28, 2009 11:01 AM
Michael:
Nothing mysterious about the hipster migration. They go where real estate prices are depressed. Hasidim with their large families tend to stabilize community infrastructure, but they are not a wealthy demographic so their neighborhoods, sooner or later, end up as prime real estate.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at January 28, 2009 11:05 AM
Mojo:
Since we're not eating the tallis bag, it's not a problem. The same way we can wear a belt made of pig skin. Kosher prohibitions only apply to food.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at January 28, 2009 11:09 AM
Prophet Joe:
A definite win!
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at January 28, 2009 11:11 AM
Leora:
When the Obama cult of personality infringes on My Little Pony, well, then we know this republic has gone to hell in a hand basket.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at January 28, 2009 11:14 AM
Re. the hipsters, it's as Robert says, but with a caveat. They didn't move into Chassidic part of Williamsburg, b/c prices have been inflated there for years. Instead, they're next door, in E. Williamsburg and Greenpoint. In the meantime, though, the Chassidim have been expanding their neighborhood, so there's lots of conflict where the two groups meet, as you can imagine.
Posted by: kishke at January 28, 2009 12:45 PM
Hi, Robert- 100% agreement with you regarding BHO, the false messiah. He promises to be the greatest hits collection of Neville Chamberlain, Jimmy Carter, and Bill Clinton.
Posted by: Daniel Wohlgelernter at January 29, 2009 12:25 AM
May I introduce some fine points about the "cult of personality"?
In all seriousness - What personality? Barack Obama has some fine qualities, but he's a highly-skilled + lightly-tested politician - not what I would call a brilliant mind (nor soul).
Second, unlike in a formally totalitarian society, the Obama media sprawl is entirely elective. What else might these editors be prompted or persuaded to probe about "44"?
Posted by: Jeremiah at January 29, 2009 10:31 AM
I don't know... JFK had, and still has, a pretty incredible cult following. I mean, there are still people out there who think he was a great president!
Posted by: FrumFeminist at February 1, 2009 11:01 PM