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February 20, 2009
The Frum Feminist Steps Out
“What's taking her so long?”
On the set of one of my films a few years ago, our leading lady, a star, a diva, an incredibly beautiful woman, was holding up the shoot. In answer to my question, our director threw up his hands in despair. He and Leading Lady had stopped speaking to one another on the first day of production.
Yeah, things were that bad.
As writer slash producer, I stepped in. Time is money and we were two hours behind schedule.
Which translates to approximately one-hundred large.
The hair stylist was working on Leading Lady. Into the trailer I stepped and politely but firmly said:
“We have five more set ups today, we need you on set.”
Leading Lady stared at my reflection in her mirror and sighed: “Do you know how hard it is to look casually glamorous?”
“You mean that casual look you do isn't really casual?”
Leading Lady smiled sweetly, but with a perfect hint of malice said: “Men.”
Be aware: movie stars don't get irony.
This is all to introduce Frum (Yiddish: Orthodox Jew) Feminist, who shows up at Casa Avrech looking casually windswept, but perfectly put together.
She's got that Odile Gilbert hair that women in N.Y. and L.A. pay for through the nose. It's Demure School Marm meets Rita Hayworth in Gilda—lustrous hair tightly bound in front but exploding—a grenade of tresses—at the back.
I like Frum Feminist's blog. I like her individuality, her romantic nature rubbing against a few conventions of the Orthodox Jewish community.
Frum Feminist tells me she likes Seraphic Secret.
Dragging toe through dirt: “Aw, shucks. Is it my sharp take on politics, my muscular military analysis, my inside tales of Hollywood decadence?”
“I like Friday Footwear.”
Sigh.
Head in hands.
“Shoes,” says Frum Feminist with a knowing smile, “are important to women.”
No kidding.
A Colt Peacemaker. Yes, a single action six-shooter.
That's the image that pops into my head. I'm talking the perfect accessory for Frum Fem's boots.
Last week Seraphic Secret inscribed this commandment: “The best footwear inspires awe.”
True.
But there is more.
Just as there are layers in souls, there are layers in, er, soles.
Commandment #2: The best footwear also intimidates, the best footwear—we're talking cyoot, niiice, o-sum, fab-u-lus, choose your adj.—inspires a shiver of fear.
These sleek boots effortlessly fuse the classical western cowboy style—sharp toe, raised heel, pronounced stitching—with the aerodynamic modern stiletto. It's Dolly Parton meets Danica Patrick by way of Barbara Stanwyck in Forty Guns. Notice the distressed metal disc, a clever wink at the old burnished steel of spurs and elaborate Mexican saddles.
Frum Fem is a proud member of the NRA, but she suspects that too many young men in our community will shy away from such a forthright frum lady:
“Oy-vey,” wail the boys in Beth Midrash, “a frum fatale!”
But somewhere in the teeming Jewish universe a Yeshivish Gary Cooper is on a parallel journey. He squints in the sunlight, sees the kick of light off Frum Fem's adorably dangerous boots, and striding down main street with sharp, percussive beats over the soundtrack, he says:
“Howdy, I'm your Bashert.”
Karen and I wish all our friends—that means you, our readers—and relatives a lovely and restful Shabbat.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at February 20, 2009 07:23 AM
Comments
Seraphic Secret is private property, that's right, it's an extension of our home, and as such, Karen and I have instituted two Seraphic Rules and we ask commentors to act respectfully.
1. No profanity.2. No Israel bashing. We debate, we discuss, we are respectful. You know what Israel bashing is. The world is full of it. Seraphic Secret is one of the few places in the world that will not tolerate this form of anti-Semitism. That's it. Break either of these rules and you will be banned.
Reading the Frum Feminist's blog I get the feeling that women have a lot of angst over things that men don't even think twice over...
Reminds me of the internet joke going around a few years ago about the advantages men have over women: On weddings, women drive themselves silly over such profound issues as the kind of flowers to have - men just show up in a rented tux.
I suppose the whole issue can be summarized by a question that men dread getting from women: "How does this dress look on me?"
Frum Fatale - I like that!
Posted by: Bill Brandt at February 20, 2009 09:13 AM
I linked to her blog from this post; really good writing, and I love her outlook.
Speaking of outlook, have you looked out and noticed that you have your Friday Footwear models who model outside your home step on the same pedestal (rock)? I think you should chalk an outline of a foot imprint on that rock and label it: "Put your best foot forward!"
Good Shabbos, Casa Avrech.
Posted by: Pearl at February 20, 2009 10:18 AM
" ... A Colt Peacemaker. Yes, a single action six-shooter.
That's the image that pops into my head. I'm talking the perfect accessory for Frum Fem's boots.
Last week Seraphic Secret inscribed this commandment: “The best footwear inspires awe.”
i guess the footware stuff is just lost on guys ;-) ...
here's a pic of a non-nonsense arms-bearing woman,
with her functional combat-sensible motorcycle boots tastefully framed by her modified jeans ;-)
http://www.millaj.com/pics/resident2-8.jpg
n.b.
the pic you took of the FF's boots, make them appear fatter than they really are,
(the one closer to the camera looks wider than the further right boot)
this may be a lens distortion where shots taken from closer than 5 ft. tend to exaggerate and widen curvatures,
recommend you stay further away and then zoom in
anyway,
Good Shabbos
Posted by: exdemexlib at February 20, 2009 10:46 AM
Bill:
Don't tell this to the chattering classes but: men and women are different, physically and psychologically.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.seraphicpress.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at February 20, 2009 01:36 PM
Pearl:
Glad you linked to Frum Fem. Her blog is fascinating. My courtyard rock has become my footwear studio. Something about it screams: “Step on me!”
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at February 20, 2009 01:40 PM
Exdem:
Freud asked: What do women want?
Answer: cute footwear.
All else is commentary.
Thanks for the photo tip.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at February 20, 2009 01:43 PM
I was actually gonna say the same thing as exdem - those boots are a lot taller than they look in this picture. And thanks, exdem, for referring to the BOOTS fatness: that was a nice way to put it. (And you're right - they're not as fat as they look in the picture.)
Bill - you could be right. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. But that women in the frum community are not respected as much as men: that is NOT just an "angsty" perspective. It's a reality.
Thanks for the post Robert!
Posted by: FrumFeminist at February 20, 2009 04:33 PM
FrumFeminist - I have always respected people of both sexes who think for themselves - added points if they put humor into their observations!
Mark Twain: "Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to"
I did read the Mars/Venus book - and what I did get out of that book is that men and women can say the exact same words and each interprets different meaning from those same words.
From a male perspective (speaking for the entire gender - I was elected) we wish you females would just tell us what you want! We aren't all that good at innuendo - metaphors are so-so ;-)
Posted by: Bill Brandt at February 20, 2009 07:05 PM
I guess you wouldln't be impressed by my shoes. I can't wear those elegant pointy, high heeled ones.
Posted by: Batya from Shiloh at February 21, 2009 12:32 PM
Nor can I. But I like Friday Footwear just the same!
Posted by: Rahel at February 21, 2009 09:35 PM
Elect me president and I'll pass a bill that says that women can only own a reasonable number of shoes. One pair of black, one pair of blue, one pair of brown etc.
The money saved can go to something important like electronics or tools.
Posted by: Jack at February 22, 2009 09:13 AM
Frum Fem:
Apologies for the lousy angle. I should have mentioned that you are tall and slim as a stalk of wheat.
Thanks so much for making Friday Footwear such a runaway—ouch!—success.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at February 22, 2009 09:28 AM
Batya:
We're open to all, uh, soles.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at February 22, 2009 09:30 AM
Jack:
Don't look now but Comrade Obama already put that in his, ahem, stimulus bill. It applies to everyone but Michelle.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at February 22, 2009 09:33 AM
I am so glad that you posted this -- I went to her blog and found it incredibly interesting. It also was refreshing to see that your blog has a nice mix of serious and lighthearted subjects. I am enjoying seeing a different viewpoint on various subjects (not that I agree with everything) but it has been fun!
Posted by: Nuha at February 22, 2009 12:25 PM
Nuha:
Hey, welcome back. So glad we didn't scare you off.
Seraphic Secret reflects my so-called "eclectic mind," hence you will come across an insane variety of topics.
We do not expect everyone to agree with us. Not by any means.
But we are most happy when those who disagree feel comfortable here and enjoy themselves.
BTW, I have a feeling that you'll get a kick out of my series:
"How I Married Karen."
Here's the link: http://www.seraphicpress.com/archives/how_i_married_karen/
It's the most popular thing on our site.
Enjoy!
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at February 22, 2009 12:58 PM
Love the boots, Frum!
I also bookmarked you blog -- I think it will become another one of my must-read blogs!
PJ
Posted by: ProphetJoe at February 23, 2009 07:56 AM
Loved this post.
I am sheepishly admitting that I love your Friday Footware posts.
I hate shopping and most things feminine... but I have a major weakness for shoes (shhhh... it's a a secret!). If I had the money and the closet space, I would totally turn into the next Imelda Marcus (but I live in Israel, with virtually no closet space, so my family is spared....)
Shabbat Shalom!
Posted by: Rivka with a capital A at February 27, 2009 02:55 AM
Rivka A:
Don't be sheepish about your love of Friday Footwear. Except for "How I Married Karen",http://www.seraphicpress.com/archives/how_i_married_karen/ these posts are the most popular entries on Seraphic Secret.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech at February 27, 2009 10:17 AM