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June 05, 2009
Wedding Shoes: Perfect But Top Secret
Trust me, within the black box are Karen's unbelievable shoes for the wedding.
Karen says: “I found the perfect shoes for Offspring #3's wedding.”
I'm like: “Already?”
“Yep. One trip to Loehmann's and there they were. Wanna see?”
“You have to ask?”
Karen flips the lid off the CK box, reaches in and pulls out—I'm not kidding—killer shoes.
“On sale,” says Karen.
Balancing on one foot, Karen slips on the right shoe. She stands back and admires the sleek view.
“Nice, huh?”
“Brilliant.”
Karen slips on the left shoe.
Frowns.
I lean in, study the shoes, something is wrong.
Karen goes: “They gave me two right shoes.”
The love of my life looks stricken, and then spitting angry.
“They sold me two right shoes.”
I feel Karen's pain. The perfect shoes are less than perfect.
Karen yanks the shoes off, shoves them back in the box and grabs her car keys.
“Where you going?”
“Back to Loehmann's to get the left shoe.”
Lillian Gish reacts when she discovers that her lover is dead.
While Karen's on her sortie, I sit back and watch Lillian Gish and Ronald Colman in The White Sister, 1923, a wildly romantic drama about star crossed lovers. Colman's an officer in the Italian army and he's in love with Lillian Gish who comes from this wealthy aristocratic family, but then she gets cheated out of her inheritance by an evil stepmother and ends up penniless and no longer an aristocrat, but still noble, if you get my drift. Then she hears that Colman's been killed in battle and she becomes a nun—the White Sister of the title—but naturally Colman is alive and he returns to marry Gish but now she's married to Jesus and then Mount Vesuvius erupts—don't ask—and really, I'm like melting into a puddle, whimpering like the biggest sissy in the world because this is such a great film.
“Got it.” Karen returns, triumphant.
She models the shoes.
“Great, fab-u-losity. Now I have something for Friday Footwear.”
“No, Robert. You can't show them until after I wear them.”
To be opened after Offspring #3's wedding—in August.
And, oh yeah, Barack Hussein Obama's shameless pandering to the, ahem, Muslim world? One of the most astute commentaries I've read is by Rabbi Steven Pruzansky, our guest lecturer at the Sixth Annual Ariel Avrech Lecture, on June 21.
Karen and I wish all our friends and relatives a lovely and meaningful Shabbat.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at June 5, 2009 06:55 AM
Comments
Seraphic Secret is private property, that's right, it's an extension of our home, and as such, Karen and I have instituted two Seraphic Rules and we ask commentors to act respectfully.
1. No profanity.2. No Israel bashing. We debate, we discuss, we are respectful. You know what Israel bashing is. The world is full of it. Seraphic Secret is one of the few places in the world that will not tolerate this form of anti-Semitism. That's it. Break either of these rules and you will be banned.
I read Rabbi Pruzansky comments on Cairo. Lucid and right to the point -- also his point that Israel's leaders need courage to speak out clearly at this point.
I was disappointed to see that even FNC seemed to go along with the idea that Obama's speech was reasonable -- with the notable exception of Bret Baier and his panel including the ever-wonderful Krauthammer.
Posted by: Katherine at June 5, 2009 11:13 AM
RE: The prez, his speech, the reaction - the world may be fooled; but God sees and is not fooled.
I saw "The White Sister" earlier this week on TCM: fantastic. I've seen the talkie remake of this, with Gable and Helen Hayes, which is so-so Early Sound Era melodrama. But, Lillian Gish and Ronald Coleman? Wow. Are there any bad Ronald Coleman movies, I'd like to know? As for Lillian Gish... I couldn't forget Robert A.'s retelling of her death scene in "Camile." This is why movies are (were) an art form.
Posted by: Bibi at June 5, 2009 12:08 PM
I adore a good shoe story.. though it is KILLING me not to be able to seee....
I'm so sorry you got the two right shoes.. glad that got straigntened out!
Now you do know..if you sign up for the Gold Insider CLub.. well then you could get an additional 10% off everytime you buy at Loehmanns?
Would make those perfect shoes even better...:)
Posted by: Diva Discount at June 5, 2009 01:03 PM
You sneaky devil....
Posted by: Alice at June 5, 2009 01:15 PM
Diva Discount-
I'm one step ahead- already used the gold card on said shoes.
Posted by: Karen Avrech at June 5, 2009 01:58 PM
James Taranto's Best of the Web column today hits on the exact problem with Obama's speech. Israel and the Jews that live there are not the problem in the ME. Instead the leaders of all the countries around Israel have never cared about the plight of the "palestinians" and only use them (with assistance from the UN) to distract from the corrupt and crummy job they do running their countries. Had Israel or Jews never existed Assad, Abdullah, Sadat and the rest of the gang would have to invent them.
Rabbi Pruzansky is right about everything after 1200. Obama said a lot of the same things about islam that Bush did. Neither president is or was willing to explain why there was so much joy in the streets of the palestinians on 9-11. I guess those CNN cameras only caught the muslims that didn't get the memo about the religion of peace thing.
Posted by: Johnny at June 5, 2009 04:13 PM
Mazal tov, on the upcoming simcha, and on the clever way you showed off just the silver tip of the magic shoe...
May they aid your dear lady in dancing her darling daughter toward a very happy, healthy, long and successful marriage.
Posted by: rutimizrachi at June 6, 2009 02:10 PM
Can't wait to see the shoes!
Mazal Tov on the upcoming wedding!!
On a different note, I am wondering how I got interested in Lillian Gish, but I was fascinated with her when I was in high school and even wrote a paper about her.
Until reading your posts, I don't think I ever met anyone else who heard of her....
Posted by: Rivka with a capital A at June 6, 2009 02:29 PM
I know this is obnoxious, to ask something of you at this time, however: I just watched the Outlander (DVD), and liked it (hey! Vikings, Aliens, Dragons!)...
But throwing in a nasty Christian monk was wrong on several counts:
A. it had nothing to do with the plot,so it must have been there as a throwaway insult at Christianity;
B.the action takes place in 709 AD, WAY before any attempt at Christianizing in Norway, so why have a Christian in the MeadHall anyway?
C. the dead Chieftain was buried NOT because he 'believed' in the old ways (like a sort of San Francisco moron), but because he was going to go to Valhalla where all successful Viking warriors went. He was certainly NOT going to a Christian heaven or hell.
Now. I would like to write a note to this effect to both the Director and Writer, Howard McCain, and to the co-writer, Dirk Blackman. As a fan of Big Hollywood, I believe in confronting such people whenever I can.
Can you provide me with the addresses of these men? I tried through IMDb and cannot access the "Pro" part as I am a mere patron, and not a Pro.
If you can or cannot do so, well, thanks anyway, the the best of time at the Wedding!
Posted by: heathermc at June 6, 2009 07:08 PM
Robert, you make me want to see every film that Lillian Gish ever made... and I also can't wait to see what the wonderful wedding shoes look like.
Mazal tov on Offspring 3's wedding, with all my heart!
Posted by: Rahel at June 6, 2009 09:34 PM
Everyone:
Thanks for all your kind wedding wishes. Karen's shoes will be revealed after the August wedding. I plan to shoot them as K dances.
heathermc: Cannot provide addresses. Sorry.
Rahel: Lillian Gish was a great actress who's career spanned 80 years. There's lots and lots to screen.
Posted by: Robert J. Avrech ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.seraphicpress.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at June 7, 2009 05:48 PM
Okay now. I thought my head was going to explode with all the gushing this weekend of the POTUS and his apologetics and now you go and make me wait until August to see those shoes!!!!
Posted by: robyn at June 7, 2009 09:04 PM
Loehmann's is owned by a Dubai-based company. I'm just sayin'.
Posted by: ralphie at June 8, 2009 04:04 PM