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October 30, 2009

Friday Footwear: Danger Heels Edition

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Years ago, while in pre-production on a film, I was working with a brilliant wardrobe designer, groping towards a specific look for an actress.

I kept going on and on about blouses and skirts, fabric, cut, texture, silhouette. I was, I sheepishly confess, showing off my knowledge of Hollywood costume design history.

I dropped scholarly references to the great designers: Adrian's (real name: Adrian Adolph Greenberg) brilliant work camouflaging Joan Crawford's linebacker shoulders with padding, Travis Banton's Pygmalion transformation of Carole Lombard (real name: Jane Alice Peters) from a cheap tootsie into a sophisticated clothes horse, and Helen Rose's classically elegant and ultra-feminine chiffon creations for Elizabeth Taylor,

Wardrobe Designer vigorously waved away my suggestions:

“Shoes.”

I was like: “Huh?”

She said: “For women, I build the wardrobe from the ground up. Footwear.”

My head was, I kid you not, spinning.

“The shoes a woman wears defines who she is.”

“Really?”

Wardrobe Designer gestured to an actress tipping around in fire engine nose-bleed stilettos.

“Daddy issues.”

Nodding towards a female production assistant clomping across the sound stage in thick-soled brogues, Wardrobe Designer declared:

“Sudden attack of manhood.”

A light bulb blazed over my head; sweet enlightenment.

Wardrobe Designer concluded:

“Show me a woman's shoes and I can tell you everything about her life.”

“Everything?”

Everything.”

So, let's take a peek at the latest footwear from some of the most important—meaning pricey—fashion houses, and try to tease some meaning from these intimidating designs.

And hey, while you're at it, ladies, why don't you tell us which heels you favor for your next stroll in the park.


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Karl Lagerfield


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Alexander McQueen


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Jill Sander


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Christian Louboutin


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John Galliano


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Gianfranco Ferre


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Dior

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Alexander McQueen


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No idea, but double high heels appears unusually
perilous.


Karen and I wish all our friends and relatives a lovely and safe Shabbat.

Posted by Robert J. Avrech at October 30, 2009 07:24 AM

Comments

Seraphic Secret is private property, that's right, it's an extension of our home, and as such, Karen and I have instituted two Seraphic Rules and we ask commentors to act respectfully.

1. No profanity.

2. No Israel bashing. We debate, we discuss, we are respectful. You know what Israel bashing is. The world is full of it. Seraphic Secret is one of the few places in the world that will not tolerate this form of anti-Semitism.

That's it. Break either of these rules and you will be banned.

I wonder what the wardrobe fellow would say about the women wearing **those** shoes???

Posted by: Bill Brandt at October 30, 2009 07:51 AM

I was thinking the same thing, Bill! Lots of Daddy Issues...

While some are very artistically pleasing, they ALL look uncomfortable on the foot!

...and while trying to maintain guidelines set in rule number one... they all tend to the remind me of "FM" shoes... ahem.

Happy Sabbath to the Avrech home!

PJ

Posted by: ProphetJoe at October 30, 2009 11:11 AM

Those shoes say "I have my chiropractor on speed dial". Ouch!

Posted by: Rachel at October 30, 2009 11:30 AM

Your Friday Footwear admirers would thoroughly enjoy this Toronto museum: http://www.batashoemuseum.ca.

You appreciate fine footwear but I'm sure many men share the same refrain: "If you've seen one pair of shoes, you've seen them all!"

Posted by: Pearl at October 30, 2009 12:47 PM

I say these ladies think they're too short. That or they regret never learning how to prance around en point.

Have a great Shabbos!

Posted by: alterbentzion at October 30, 2009 01:10 PM

Ow.

Posted by: DrCarol at October 30, 2009 01:23 PM

I think the designers don't like women very much.

Or else they have relatives that are doctors treating broken ankles.

Posted by: Johnny at October 30, 2009 04:49 PM

Bill:

A wardrobe designer is only concerned if the wardrobe properly reflects the essence of the character.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at October 30, 2009 05:06 PM

Joe:

What are FM shoes?

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at October 30, 2009 05:08 PM

Rachel:

As one female shoe lover said to me: “If they are comfortable, the shoes are probably ugly.”

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at October 30, 2009 05:10 PM

Alter:

Next stop for women: fashionable stilts.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at October 30, 2009 05:12 PM

Dr. Carol:

I thought for sure you'd get all excited about this collection:-)

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at October 30, 2009 05:14 PM

Johnny:

All the shoes are designed by homosexual men who claim to adore women.

Hmmmm.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at October 30, 2009 05:17 PM

The costume designer story is wonderful, I absolutely love it!
I do some costuming in a very minor way- local community theater- and once built a costume on a pair of size 13 mulberry suede heels.

I'd smile at your showing off, but a woman who missed the whole climax of "Diabolique" because she was mentally working out the combination of French hand-sewing on that nightgown the wife was wearing as she was drawn on to her doom, has no room to talk.

Posted by: Sal at October 31, 2009 06:12 AM

From what the costume designers say, I get the feeling that they don't look too kindly on women who simply want to wear comfortable shoes. Spike heels of any kind are an invitation to disaster on Jerusalem stone, particularly wet Jerusalem stone (we just had our first big rain yesterday). Why should the desire for comfort -- and the perfectly reasonable wish to avoid health problems later on -- be linked to "issues" of whatever kind?

I was at my women's tefilla group this morning, celebrating a bat mitzvah, and didn't see a single high heel in the bunch. In fact, two of the women wore sneakers, and I wore my Teva Naot clogs with the pretty metal buckles. Super-comfy. I'm sure that the costume designers wouldn't like them at all, but I think they're great!

Posted by: Rahel at October 31, 2009 10:03 AM

Shavu'a tov! I just took a second look at the shoes. A few of them remind me a bit of the steampunk aesthetic (look it up on Wikipedia and you'll find links to an amazing reworking of a Mac mini, with keyboard and monitor!), and the shape and texture of the royal blue shoes remind me of the work of H. R. Giger, the set designer from the the original "Aliens." So there's definitely something countercultural and maybe dark going on. But I still say these women feel short.

Posted by: alterbentzion at October 31, 2009 06:25 PM

the diors

Posted by: chaya at October 31, 2009 09:02 PM

I would walk barefoot From New York to California before I would wear any of those horrors. Shavuah Tov.

Posted by: Miranda Rose Smith at November 1, 2009 02:47 AM

Dear Rahel: You didn't get a big rain on Rash HaShanah?

Posted by: Miranda Rose Smith at November 1, 2009 04:08 AM

High heels wear out fast. I quit wearing them, except on special occasions, when I began to feel like the margin of profit for the Cat's Paw company.

Posted by: Miranda Rose Smith at November 1, 2009 04:13 AM

Miranda, I think that the rain then was more localized, and brief. Now we have rain forecast for several days.

Posted by: Rahel at November 1, 2009 04:38 AM

Rash HaShanah, it rained in Bene Braq, where I was visiting friends. I understand there was also a big rainfall over the Kinneret, baruch HaShem. This past Friday and Shabbat, there was rain in Ramat Gan, baruch HaShem.

Posted by: Miranda Rose Smith at November 1, 2009 04:49 AM

I wear heels on state occasions, otherwise it's nothing but comfort for me. Right now I am wearing my beloved Merril hiking shoes.

Posted by: Ky Person at November 2, 2009 02:36 AM

The Alexander McQueen shoes remind me of Chinese footbinding -- which was basically the torture of little girls for beauty.

These shoes are HORRIBLE!!

I'm sad. I usually LOVE your FF posts!!

Posted by: Rivka with a capital A at November 2, 2009 03:55 PM

Rivka A:

I agree with you. I should have made it clear that Seraphic Secret does not like or admire these shoes either. I'm just, y'know, taking note of the latest fashion trends.

Posted by: Robert J. Avrech [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 2, 2009 04:00 PM

"Joe: What are FM shoes?"

The F stands for the F-word and the M stands for "me".... I'm told the concept originated from the adult entertainment industry which uses stiletto heels for their "actresses"...

Sorry, I don't mean to cross the line of good taste, but you asked.

Posted by: ProphetJoe at November 3, 2009 06:37 AM

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