January 16, 2009
Goodbye (Elite?) Iran Unit
Day 21 of the Gaza War
IDF soldiers in urban, three dimensional battlefields, must smash holes in walls between buildings in order to avoid booby traps. So expert are the IDF at this form of warfare that Israeli officers were dispatched to Iraq to train American troops. Thus, numerous lives were spared.
Seraphic Secret will be updating throughout the day, so keep scrolling down. And hey, don't forget today is, ta-da, Friday Footwear.
Setting aside the aggressive and amusingly overblown rhetoric of the Hamas leadership regarding a cease fire, it's obvious that Hamas are collapsing. The IDF possess superb intel and given enough time and patience the entire Hamas leadership would be terminated with extreme prejudice.
Terrorist cell phones are useless because the IDF has technology that can laser-in on particular cell phones and death-dealing drones are dispatched within seconds to delete the caller. Hence, Hamas are crippled by lack of communications.
The leadership cowers in bunkers and use children as messengers.
Seraphic Secret has received word from friends fighting in Gaza and all agree that Hamas are pretty lousy fighters. They are not great marksmen, fire their AK-47's on full auto instead of short, disciplined bursts. The terrorist booby traps have become tediously familiar. And when prisoners are taken, the terrorists sing like birdies.
As one soldier wryly commented: “The Hamas take time out from fighting to stand on line and get hand-outs from relief agencies.”
In a further sign of the rapid collapse of the Gaza terrorists, the IDF wiped out an Iranian unit, considered an elite group.
Palestinian sources reported Thursday that the "Iranian Unit" of Hamas, members of the group's military wing trained by the Iranian Revolutionary Guard, had been destroyed.
According to the sources, most of the unit's members were killed in fighting in the Zeytun neighborhood, where they had been deployed by the military leadership of Hamas.
The unit numbered approximately 100 men who had traveled to Iran and Hezbollah camps, mostly in the Beka'a Valley, where they were trained in infantry fighting tactics. The militants were also trained in the use of anti-tank missiles, the detonation of explosives, among other skills.
Full story here.
Seraphic Secret does not want to underestimate the enemy, they are cruel and determined, but in the end, they are only effective against civilians, mainly women and children. Against real men, real solders, Jewish soldiers, the Hamas and all their Muslim terrorist allies are weak as women, cowardly as dogs.
Seraphic Secret urges the Israeli leadership to continue Operation Cast Lead until the Hamas are but dust and ashes.
And there should be no cease fire until Gilad Shalit is returned from his cruel captivity.
9:55 am PST Our good friend, John Noonan, an expert on weapon systems that fall from the sky, explains why the use of smoke screens is not a war crime.
10:38 am PST Michael Fenenbock, founder of The 18, which Seraphic Secret supports, paid a visit to the Gaza battle zone and filed an exclusive report for Little Green Footballs.
10:48 pm PST The dogs of war have been released and the IDF are finally being allowed to fight properly and destroy the terrorists. It's about time.
10:57 am PST Welcome to New Zealand—unless you are Jewish.
10: 58 am PST Welcome to Britain—unless you are Jewish.
10:59 am PST Welcome to Germany—unless you are Jewish.
11:00 am PST Welcome to Denmark—unless you are Jewish.
11:01 am PST Welcome to Turkey—unless you are Jewish.
11:02 am PST Welcome to France—ditto.
12:07 pm PST Hey, kids, welcome to a special edition of Friday Footwear! Listen, we know, there's a war in Israel, but let's not forget that one of the things we're fighting for is, um, Friday Footwear. Seriously, do you think the Islamists permit women freedom of footwear choice?
No way.
So: Offspring #3 attends Stern College for Women in New York. During winter vacation she always comes home with college friends. The girls need a vacation and with sub-zero temperatures in NY—oy, that global warming—California is the perfect destination.
Now, Offspring #3 brings home four, count 'em, four friends. Let's do the math: Offspring #3, plus 4 friends, plus 1 Karen. That's 6 female human beings with yours truly, the 1 male in Casa Avrech. The girls are all bubbly and chatty and they let me know right away that they are well aware of Seraphic Secret.
Always fishing for compliments.
“So, do you like when I write about politics?”
Eh.
“Israel?”
Eh.
“I know, Hollywood!”
Double eh.
“So what is it you like?”
All together: “Friday Footwear!”
I take the compliments where I can get them. No pride, just a groveling writer.
Says one Stern Girl: “Friday Footwear comes around and everyone calls Offspring #3!”
Soon enough, I have enthusiastic models. Seraphic Secret is going to make the Stern Girls famous.
“Are my shoes nice enough?” Meek Stern Girl inquires.
“Fab-u-lous.”
Stern Girl #1 just loves her Michael Kors shoes. Well, sure, Michael's a nice Jewish boy, Bar Mitzvah and all, and these silvery flats are just perfect for Jewish Philosophy or Finance classes. And hey, maybe even for that not so casual Shidduch date.
Didn't get the brand name, but Stern Girl #2 is definitely sending out that patterned Park Ave. vibe. The low-cut flats are proud to do an Israeli dance—yup, there's such a class at Stern—and shazzam, quick as a Mossad agent, switch to a dreamy Cole Porter number and make like the Jewish Cyd Charisse.
Group hug. Five happy and footwear-proud Stern Girls on their way to shul for Friday evening Shabbos services. Snapping this pic, yours truly recalls the wise words of a spectacularly talented Hollywood Wardrobe Designer who, on location, stated: “I design my wardrobes from the footwear up.” I was totally, “Wha?” Calmly, she explained: “Everything you need to know about a woman can be discovered in her choice of footwear.” Doubting me: “Everything?” With complete sincerity: “Absolutely everything.”
2:07 pm PST Jack, Jack, Jack, you are awesome: Gaza War Update Chai point five.
2:10 pm PST Awesome too are Aussie Dave and The Muqata who so brilliantly live blog the war so that I feel like optioning their posts for a blockbuster movie.
2:14 pm PST Yet another reason to love the IDF:
Karen and I wish all our friends, relatives and our beloved IDF a miracle in Shabbat.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:42 AM | Comments (21)
December 26, 2008
My Beautiful Neighborhood VIII
I went through this period were I photographed richly textured details of roofs, sides of buildings, steel grates, and other stuff in my neighborhood. I printed the photo twice, paired them as mirror images, rephotographed the assemblage to highlight compositional elements, and then, whew, printed them again.
I created hundreds of these compositions before switching to digital photography at Karen's wise suggestion. All the pictures were taken with a Contax G2 Rangefinder—a great camera, now sadly retired—usually mounted with a 50mm lens. With so many unlabeled photos—dopey me, I gave them numbers—it's kind of fun trying to see through the abstraction and puzzle out the actual space.
And no, I have not forgotten that today is Friday Footwear. And because today's theme is doubles here's a bonus snapshot of, ta-da, Offspring #2 and Offspring #3 in matching Ugs. Can anyone identify the location? Hint: it's not in California.
Karen and I wish all our friends and relatives a miraculous Shabbat, a happy sixth night of Chanukah. And if you want the perfect Chanukah gift—also excellent for a late Christmas gift—here's a shameless plug for my novel. Another fine gift is my Emmy Award winning film.
Oh, yeah, thought you should all know that during this Christmas season, Hamas, enacting Sharia, legalized crucifixion.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:39 AM | Comments (11)
December 19, 2008
My Beautiful Neighborhood VII
Great signage right off Pico Blvd. This is the store where I buy
all my American and Israeli flags and lapel pins.
As I've said, I love to roam the alleyways here in my neighborhood.
This row of garages has layers of texture topped by wonderfully muted colors.
Self-portrait in concrete.
They don't build hinges like they used to. From the Griffith Observatory.
Another self-portrait. This one in a superbly broken mirror in one of my
beautiful neighborhood's alleys.
Last week Karen and I visited Bensonhurst, our old Brooklyn neighborhood. It used to be a predominately Italian-Irish neighborhood with small, quivering pockets of Jews. Now Russian and Korean immigrants dominate. I'm a sucker for brilliantly colored walls with great signage. It also helps when it's raining and the streets are film noir slick.
The moment you've all been waiting for: Friday footwear. Offspring #2 is a busy wife and mother, but she still makes time to purchase new shoes. These classic flats with whispery ankle straps are the love child of Moira Shearer in The Red Shoes and Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday. “Carlo, you simply must take me dancing in the silvery moonlight. Pronto!”
Karen and I wish all our friends and relatives a restful and miraculous Shabbat.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 03:53 AM | Comments (11)
December 05, 2008
My Beautiful Neighborhood VI
Sometimes I don't have to stray very far from my front door to discover dazzling compositions. This blue dot on the field of gray and green is on the sidewalk right in front of Casa Avrech.
This week Karen and I replaced our old furnace—when I say old I'm talking 1930's—with a spanking new unit plus central AC. There were workmen and tools all over the place. Needless to say, I was in heaven. No idea what these rubber tubes are used for.
Insulated heating ducts for the new unit. They look like great silver worms from a sc-fi movie.
A section of our old furnace. Actually, it's not old, it's ancient. But such great texture. Anyway, the workmen were examining the old furnace and talking excitedly among themselves in Spanish. I asked: “What's up?” A guy said: “This is the oldest furnace we have ever removed from a house.” I'm like: ”Have you done a lot of furnaces? The guys crack up and go: “Thousands!”
X marks the spot. When I snapped this photo one of the workmen asked me why I was taking the picture. I told him that the letter X is very hard to find. He was like: Huh?
Saw this sign in a parking lot nearby. Okay, so correct me if I'm stupid but isn't this an invitation to a pile-up? Whatever.
What would Friday be without the obligatory footwear shot. Seraphic friend Bill Brandt writes: “I submit my shoe photo from 1973 — when I was at Ft Bliss, TX (El Paso) for a few months. Our Puerto Rican Drill Sgt. told us that he wanted our shoes "speeet-shined" and that's what I did for some hours.” Thank you Bill, glad to have you on our side.
Karen and I wish all our friends and relatives a lovely and restful Shabbat.
Seraphic Secret's Jew-Hunting in Mumbai has been published in a slightly edited form in this week's Jewish Press.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:33 AM | Comments (14)
November 21, 2008
My Beautiful Neighborhood V
I went shopping for new running shoes at the West Side Pavilion. Parked on the top level of the structure. Spent about five minutes taking pictures of this fabulous yellow zip running through a steel grill. Barnett Newman could not have done better. Did you know that the average running shoe costs more than $125.00? Since when did running become so expensive? My mother used to spend like $2.50 on my favorite Keds or if I was really a good boy snazzy PF Flyers. I'm telling you, civilization is going to hell in a hand basket.
Spaces between building have a special place in the spaces of my heart. For my Teaneck readers, can you identify this space?
Last year Karen and I paid a visit to Bensonhurt, our old neighborhood in Brooklyn. The Italian wise guys have decamped to Long Island and Jersey, replaced by hardworking Koreans and Russian immigrants. But the streets are still chock full of incredible stuff. I'm pretty sure this is a vent, though it looks like a flying saucer from planet Nareshkeit.
I'm on my way to a script conference. Yeah, I spend a lot of my time—of my life—taking script notes. Anyway, I get into the car, pull out of my driveway and whoa, parked right in front of a neighbor's home—that's a whole other story, my neighbor used to be married to a big Hollywood star who, she tells me, totally abused her. Some day I have to sit down and get the full dish. Anyway, I spot this fantastic machine, but I have no time, I have to schlep to the Marina. So I put pedal to metal and head to the freeway. But how can I pass up such a shot? Helpless to my unfortunate impulses, I whip around the block at warp speed. Park. Fall out of my car. Whip out my trusty Canon, and: Snick! Snick! Snick! I'm all David Hemmings in Blow Up, sans Verushka. All of a sudden this massive guy climbs out of a truck and says: “What the hell ya doin'?” I go: “I like your machine, so I hope you don't mind but I'm taking a few pictures.” He growls: “You a photographer?” “I go: “Um, yes, I take urban photographs.” Okay, I didn't lie too badly. The big guy smiles happily and says. “You really like my rig?” I'm all fan-boy: “It's beautiful.” “Fire away, dude.” I forgot to ask what the Putzmeister does but I think it has something to do with concrete.
So, what would Friday be without footwear. Last week I invited our readers to submit footwear photos. First up is a bushel full of Crocs from Pearl. Our good friend from Toronto explains that her daughter Adina was having a birthday party and Crocs were the footwear of choice. Pearl just couldn't resist snapping this excellent photo. Thank you, Pearl!
Rahel was kind enough to send in this self-portrait in Teva Naot with this commentary: “Manolo Blahnik they ain't, but they're warm, comfortable and durable, and they're standing on a bit of Jerusalem ornamental tile. I hope this is OK.” More than OK, Rahel. I have a friend, an Australian film director, who owns a cattle station in the middle of Australia and when he shows me photos he's always riding a horse and wearing boots that look exactly like your Teva Naot. Thanks so much.
Karen says: “I think you're going to like these.” I'm all: “Like them, are you kidding? You're Joan Crawford in Our Dancing Daughters. You're Ginger Rogers gliding across a silken dance floor in Fred's arms.” Quick, I've got to get my top hat and tux. A few hours later, Karen limps into my office, wailing, and gnashing her teeth. “They're pinching my toes,” she sobs, “I tried moleskin. I tried everything. I have to return them.” Oh, the tragedy. Oh, the injustice. Like a soldier fighting a rearguard action, Karen courageously marches back to Loehmann's.
And a film, Light for Greytowers, by an Orthodox female director, who wants to arrange, for religious reasons, women-only screenings, is being discriminated against by, guess who, The Jerusalem Jewish Film Festival—probably financed by George Soros and J-Street—that's how Jewish this film festival sounds and acts. I can more easily visualize this film festival in, oh, say, planet Berkeley.
Memo to Israel: You are supposed to be The Jewish State. Jew-ish. Look in the Torah and Gemara for proper guidelines.
Karen and I wish all our friends and relatives a lovely and meaningful Shabbat.
Okay folks, it's that time of year again. Please support Project Valour IT. Here at Seraphic Secret we ask that you make a contribution to the Air Force. Your contribution goes to a worthy cause. Injured troops get tech equipment, laptops, cell phones, etc. All the of-so necessary hi-tech stuff that allows people to communicate, get jobs, create jobs, and hey, even get on-line and read great blogs like Seraphic Secret.
Look, I don't care if you're a Democrat, Republican, or a member of the Whig Party, we all owe our wounded troops a huge debt of gratitude, so please, click the “make a donation” button and give, give give.
I'll be your bestest friend.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:06 AM | Comments (38)
November 14, 2008
My Beautiful Neighborhood IV
I caught this lovely muted composition at one of my favorite places in Los Angeles:
The Griffith Observatory. Love the Agnes Martin-like muted tones that are punched through by little black rectangles into another mysterious dimension—the definition of modern art.
Ordinarily, I like symmetry. But asymmetry has its charms. I have a feeling
that the workers who were inscribing the concrete were not paying close attention
the day they were pouring. Look at the right corner, that's excellent. Now take a look at the left side. Ouch! Guys, next time lay off the Budweiser.
Believe it or not, this is a self-portrait by Karen. What can I say, the love of my life is shy. Look closely and you'll find a small portion of Karen among the many layers of this picture. Karen snapped this in lovely, downtown Oakland.
So: I popped three vegetarian burgers into the oven and then I thought, “I can do
something interesting with these things beside ingest them.” Hence, yours truly dribbled plain yogurt on the burgers, rooted around in my camera bag and pulled out two batteries, noticed that, my gosh, the positive side of the batteries mimics the look of the rivets on my very favorite fork. What could be more natural than to plant the batteries in the yogurt, lay the fork on the plate, and: Snick! Then comes the stunning realization that I cannot eat the burgers because, guh-ross, who knows what stomach burning acids have seeped into the food? Good grief, the sacrifices I make for this blog.
I know that we're in the midst of an economic melt down. Every month I get my financial statement and my heart pounds in my chest like a Gene Krupa solo. Next month I won't even bother opening my statement. I'll make believe it doesn't exist. Anyhoo, now I know things are really bad when NASA has to cut back so severely that their office is on Beverly Drive, in a not too spacious nor elegant shipping container. I mean, this is just sad. One gigoondoo step for mankind—backwards.
A few years ago, we flew to Baltimore to attend the Bar Mitzvah of our cousin Avi K. The simcha was held at the Pearlstone Conference Center. Over a hundred family members, from America and Israel, attended. This was a magical Shabbos, meeting and spending time with nephews, nieces, cousins, uncles and aunts, some of whom we barely knew. The Pearlstone Center is located outside Baltimore, in an idyllic rural area, and though I don't take pictures of trees, flowers or mountains—I'm an urban eye—I did manage to isolate this sc-fi like structure that looks ready for lift-off.
What would Friday be without footwear? Okay, so these are not exactly Manolo Blahnik. But there is a thematic tie-in. Trust me. Remember our cousins the K's from Baltimore? Of course you do. Well, they made aliyah to Israel. Last night I was chatting with Avi's father, my cousin Dr. Jonathan K, and he mentioned that in their household they all don very specific footwear at night because, brrrr, the floors are so chilly and G-d bless my good cousin and his wife Toby, who always provided a warm and loving home-away-from-home for our son Ariel Chaim ZT'L, for the four years he attended Ner Israel Rabbinic Academy in Baltimore. So: Here's the footwear our cousins wear in Mitzpe Netofa where the nights are freezing. Jonathan apologizes for the poor quality of the pic, explains that it was taken with the Mac Front Row application. Perfectly okay. And hey, friends, relatives, feel free to send pics of footwear, with commentary. It's a seriously important issue.
Karen and I wish all our friends and relatives a miracle in Shabbat.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:09 AM | Comments (8)
November 07, 2008
My Beautiful Neighborhood III
I stumbled across this unexpected industrial landscape in my own
neighborhood here in Los Angeles. I love the lime-green and mocha
punctuated by that splash of blue.
Some of my very favorite places in Los Angeles are the driveways
between buildings. People dump all sorts of stuff in these spaces and I'm
always on the lookout for old signs and mirrors. Here, I struck gold.
Oh, a word of caution for those who might try to follow in my footsteps:
bums, junkies and winos are also fond of these driveways. Beware.
Just down the block from Casa Avrech, a neighbor propped a
mirror on their front lawn. O-kay, that's a cooperative, if eccentric
neighbor. I snapped countless exposures. Bliss.
Who says LA doesn't have architecture? Who says LA is cheesy
and vulgar? Not your faithful shutterbug. This charming burger stand
is what happens when classic LA moderne meets the final bloody
gunfight in Scarface, (1983). The only improvement would be a Kosher
certification so I could patronize this American landmark. As Kierkegaard says:
“We are born to suffer.”
Spectacular storefront on Olympic Blvd. Looks like it stepped right out
of post war Los Angeles when men donned snappy fedoras, women wore
stylish snoods and Benny Goodman's swing music made it necessary for
shoes to be resoled on a regular basis. I've driven past this store
hundreds of times and it is never open.
I was transfixed by the red line leading to the red posts
in the parking lot of a hardware store, B&B, in Culver City. The blue
sky pulls it all together. B&B Hardware, is, by the way, the best
hardware store in the known universe.
Okay, so Karen's newest footwear does not exactly fall into the
category of My Beautiful Neighborhood, but you know what, footwear
has become part of my landscape. Anyhoo. After a grueling day at work
and a lightning shopping sortie, Karen drops her bags on the floor and announces:
“I got new shoes, but I'm not sure you'll like them.”
I go:“Only one way to find out.”
As Karen slips into her latest purchase I grab my trusty Canon.
“Well, what do you think?”
I'm like: “Cute. Seriously.”
Memo to guys: 'cute' is the highest compliment one can pay to new footwear.
“Is the color okay?”
“Better than okay.”
In fact, Karen's new shoes are the offspring of Dorothy's Ruby Red Slippers and
Greta Garbo's sexy spy footwear in Mata Hari, (1931). Now Karen has but to
click her heels together and say: “There's no place like Loehmann's, there's
no place like Loehmann's...”
Karen and I wish all our friends and relatives a lovely and meaningful Shabbat.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 07:47 AM | Comments (16)
September 12, 2008
My Beautiful Neighborhood, Part II
It's Friday, Baruch HaShem. Time to take a break from politics and terrorism. Time, once again, to take a stroll around my wonderful neighborhood here in Los Angeles and focus on the startling beauty that is everywhere.
Found this beautiful industrial composition on the side of a building on La Cienega Blvd.
On Pico Blvd., I was transfixed by part of a wall that looks like an archeological dig.
Street display from a Jewish-Persian store on Pico Blvd. This is a fine example of the classic Jewish-Byzantine-Elvis style.
On a side street off Pico Blvd., I found this mellow yellow grill.
Discovered these color-coded steel girders on Glenville, off Pico. They look like huge toys.
Karen and I were enjoying a relaxing hour at our local Coffee Bean. I looked up and noticed that our table umbrella and the roof next door created a powerful visual dynamic.
A rich green fence in back of a parking lot in Pico-Robertson.
Disney Concert Hall in downtown Los Angeles. The undulating curves remind me of Marilyn Monroe. But, hey, that's just me.
My Beautiful Neighborhood, Part I.
Karen and I wish all our friends a lovely and meaningful Shabbos.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:07 AM | Comments (15)
September 05, 2008
My Beautiful Neighborhood
Every once in a while I grab my camera, a Canon Rebel, and walk around our neighborhood, Pico Robertson, here in Los Angeles, snapping photos of, well, whatever.
Here are some snapshots—isolated textures and geometric details—of my local gas station.
It's true, gas prices are painfully high; it's true that bums—drug addicts and alcoholics—panhandle at the station; it's true that the gasoline fumes make me ill, but there is great beauty in this space.
Hey, I'm just a romantic fool.
The round plate, the inner triangle, and the two bolts create an organic composition.
White on white, an elegant window that's never open.
Red and orange spheres, bisected by a slanting shadow.
Muted colors and stunning textures in a corner of the gas station.
A deeply soothing blue and the surprising red dot .
The roof the the service station, a slashing crimson bar with four PVC crowns.
Love the yellow, looks like an industrial piece of candy.
My favorite image. It's got that Walker Evans feel. Well, almost.
Karen and I wish all our friends a lovely and meaningful Shabbat.
And don't miss this article by David Horovitz from The Jerusalem Post.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:58 AM | Comments (29)
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