January 17, 2008
Seraphic Secret Contest Winner
Thanks so much everyone. This was really a tough call.
The entries were on such a high caliber that we had a hard time deciding on a winner, but ultimately this extremely clever sentence by YF emerged as the clear favorite of our judges.
Ted Kennedy, a jehu if there ever was one, found his imparlibidinous relationships with his co-workers, the reason for their rampant attempts at egrote.
YF's melding of reality with a nice simple sentence structure pushed this sentence to the head of the class.
YF, please e-mail your snail-mail address to us and we'll send you the Seraphic Press™ tote bag. Congratulations!
With each contest the sentences get better and we thank all our extremely literate and creative obscure sentence builders for their amazing efforts.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:41 AM | Comments (6)
January 16, 2008
Say the Word: Contest
Okay, we haven't done this for a while. We've been sidetracked by world events: Olmert's appeasement negotiations with the Fatah terrorists, Iranian gunboats in the Straits of Hormuz, Hillary's deeply moving tears as she was about to lose another primary, and oh yes, the Writer's Guild Strike.
Sigh.
The sheer weight of world and national events is just depressing and exhausting.
But we have resolved never to stray too long from our core passion: language and its awesome power.
That's why we never tire of this verse:
Death and life lie in the power of the tongue.
—Mishlei, Proverbs 18:21.
Anyhoo.
The Contest:
If you're new to our little contest, here's the drill: we've listed three really obscure English words. Your job—if you choose to risk the assignment—is to compose one single coherent and witty sentence using all three words.
Send the sentence to our comments section.
And the best Seraphic Sentence is the winner.
The Prize:
The prize is the new Seraphic Press™ all canvas Tote Bag. Very handy for schlepping groceries, books, DVD's—or lots of ammunition. Yup, we made sure it's sturdy enough for the toughest assignments.
Sorry, no pictures yet, but take our word for it, this is a very handsome tote bag, natural canvas with dark blue trim, emblazoned with the very cool gold and blue Seraphic Press™ logo. You can even tote your Seraphic Press™ tote bag to, say, the hoo-ha, Hamptons, and the upper classes will gaze in admiration and wonder: where did that Seraphic bag come from? And: how can I acquire such a fine item?
Well, only from Seraphic Secret.
The contest ends today Wednesday, January 16, at midnight Pacific Time.
Good luck.
Udate: We apologize, there was a typo in the definition of jehu. It's a reckless driver, not drive. In any case. We'll let the submissions stand as they are, but from now on, the correct definition should be used. Thanks so much to Kishke for bringing this to our attention.
egrote
v. to feign sickness in order to avoid work
imparlibidinous
adj. pertaining to an unequal state of desire between two people
jehu
n. a reckless driver
Hat Tip: Futility Closet
Today's Links:
Y'know how the Democrats are always telling us that we need to have, ahem, universal health care, like they have in Europe. Well, try looking for a dentist in England.
Apple has unveiled a new computer, the MacBook Air. We think this puppy is going to be very popular here in in Hollywood as it's fashionably, painfully, ultra-skinny. Hence, the perfect accessory for all the anorexics in town. Here are the pros and the cons from Cult of Mac. And here's the MacBook Air Guided Tour. More information about the new computer and Apple movie downloads.
Gingy in Jerusalem attended the One Jerusalem rally in support of keeping a united Jerusalem. Here's her excellent report, complete with some lovely Divrei Torah: If I Forget Thee O' Jerusalem.
Heading into combat? Thinking about buying some body armor for protection against steel rain? Michael Yon tells you what not to buy.
Elder of Ziyon presents: The Limits of Reliance. H/T Soccer Dad.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 12:02 AM | Comments (25)
December 12, 2007
My Word
Okay, we haven't done this for a while. We've been sidetracked by world events: Annapolis, Gaza, Syrian Nukes, Iranian Nukes, the NIE Report. Gee-willikers, the sheer weight of world events is just exhausting. But you know what? We should never stray too far from our core passion: language and its awesome power.
That's why we never tire of this verse:
Death and life lie in the power of the tongue.
—Mishlei, Proverbs 18:21.
Anyhoo.
If you're new to our little contest, here's the drill: we've listed three really obscure English words. Your job—if you choose to risk the assignment—is to compose one single coherent and witty sentence using all three words.
Send the sentence to our comments section.
And the best Seraphic Sentence is the winner.
Good luck.
apodyopsis
n. the act of imagining a person naked
dyscallignia
n. the dislike of beautiful women
snoutband
n. one who constantly contradicts his companions
Hat Tip: Futility Closet. And to Soccer Dad for reminding me to put up this post.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:04 AM | Comments (14)
November 15, 2007
Say the Word
Okay, we haven't done this for a while. I suppose we've been sidetracked by world events, great and small, for the past few months. But you know what? We should never stray too far from our core passions. Just to be clear: language and its awesome power, well, that's one of our obsessions here at Seraphic Secret.
Thus, we never tire of quoting this Torah:
Death and life lie in the power of the tongue.
—Mishlei, Proverbs 18:21.
Anyhoo.
If you're new to our little contest, here's the drill: we've listed three really obscure English words. Your job—if you choose to risk the assignment—is to compose a single coherent and witty sentence using all three words.
Send the sentence to our comments section.
Good luck.
And the best Seraphic Sentence is the, er, winner.
agrexophrenia
n. inability to perform sexually due to fear of being overheard
leint
v. to add urine to ale to make it stronger
nihilarian
n. a person with a meaningless job
Hat Tip: Futility Closet
And let's not forget Project Valor-IT Veteran's Day Fundraiser, to provide voice-activated lap-top computers to injured and disabled veterans. Please donate generously. This is a very important tzedakah, charity.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 03:45 AM | Comments (17)
August 10, 2007
Words About Screenwriting
I'm exhausted. For the past two weeks I've been working day and night on the last stretch of a screenplay — and it is killing me. My main character, a female counter-terrorist agent says things like: “I will have justice and I do not care how many I have to kill to get it.”
And I wonder: where the heck did that come from?
Here's the thing: At a certain point, in a really good script, you must let a character do what the character wants to do. And then you have to go back, and reimpose order on the chaos that this character has strewn about like Atilla the Hun. But out of this chaos, if you're good, and if your character is really unique, there will be gold.
I'm hollowed out. I've been writing I don't know how many hours a day. I've been distant and abrupt with Karen. Horrible. I get up in the middle of the night, sit on the couch in the master bedroom and go over every scene in the script, analyze it from every possible angle. In the morning, I tear the script apart and restructure major sequences over and over again. I've done twenty-five drafts to arrive at what I term my first draft.
I have dispensed with almost all up-front exposition. Yup, the oh-so-necessary, and what I call: Moshe-the-Explainer points have been sprinkled throughout the script with an eyedropper: elegant, subtle, organic. I'm sooo happy. Exposition is the Hizbullah of cinema. It should be exterminated.
I've arrived at the point in my screenwriting career where I insist that each line of dialog must mean something. No word is wasted. Nothing serves as filler. I won't allow myself to get lazy and use words as bridges to get from one scene to the next. Each line must move the story forward and ring with golden tones.
The masters of this screenwriting form were the screwball comedies of the 30's and 40's. His Girl Friday, Ball of Fire, My Favorite Wife, The Lady Eve, The Major and The Minor, The Awful Truth. Not a word nor gesture wasted. Too many in Hollywood are ignorant of these giants of the craft. It's just plain sad.
My main character is named Delia McCoy. I agonize over the names of my characters. Don't ask. Tie myself into knots. Dig into telephone books, my favorites are from Texas and Tennessee.
As a young girl, Delia was made to take a unique personal vow in the belief that such a vow would make her a more effective warrior. But she discovers that this pledge is cutting off a core emotional channel.
Thus the main conflict: duty and personal life. Nothing original here, but there are no original stories, only new ways of telling old stories.
In Delia McCoy, I have a tiger by the tail. I know this because I was at a wedding last night and right in the middle of the chuppah my mind wandered far away — and I rewrote a scene in my head. This character will not let me rest. Not for a moment. She is insistent on a corporeal existence. I know Delia McCoy as well as I know almost anyone.
Which is kind of scary.
Anywhoo.
Here are three words I'll never use in a script or in real life.
So: sharpen your Number Two pencils, open your notebooks and compose a clever and coherent sentence using all three words.
xenodocheionology
n. love of hotels
hieromachy
a fight or quarrel between priests
shunamitism
n. rejuvenation of an old man by a young woman
Hat Tip: Futility Closet
Karen and I wish all our friends a lovely and meaningful Shabbos.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 10:01 AM | Comments (14)
July 26, 2007
In a Word
Okay, Seraphic Friends, here's your assignment: pick up your Number Two pencils, open your notebooks, and and make up a brilliant and coherent sentence using the following three words:
empleomaniac
n. one who is overly eager to hold public office
unasinous
adj. equally stupid
scombroid
adj. resembling a mackerel
Hat Tip: Futility Closet
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 08:34 PM | Comments (19)
June 27, 2007
Tip of my Tongue
Okay, try and make a coherent sentence using these three words:
agelast
n. one who never laughs
misodoctakleidist
n. one who hates practicing the piano
nelipot
one who is walking barefoot
Hat Tip: Futility Closet
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 12:27 PM | Comments (14)
June 12, 2007
Words in Excess
abligurition
n. excessive spending on food and drink
gambrinous
adj. full of beer
Hat Tip: Futility Closet
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 12:52 PM | Comments (4)
May 11, 2007
What I Meant to Say...
cacoepy
n. incorrect pronunciation
e·pi·car·i·ca·cy
n. taking pleasure in others' misfortune
gargalesis
n. forceful tickling
Hat Tip: Futility Closet
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 04:02 AM | Comments (4)
April 24, 2007
In the Beginning Was the Word
cac·o·graph·ic
adj. badly written or spelled
dactylconomy
n. the art of counting on one's fingers
Hat Tip: Futility Closet
This is driving us crazy. Really. Karen and I have noticed that some people, perhaps in an effort to sound sophisticated, are pronouncing the silent T in the word often.
This is wrong.
The correct prononciation is: offen.
Please, for the love of G-d, stop the madness.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 02:19 PM | Comments (31)
March 30, 2007
Odd Inclinations
a·cer·se·com·ic
n. a person whose hair has never been cut
e·loz·ab·le
adj. amenable to flattery
gy·no·ti·ko·lo·bo·mass·o·phi·li·a
n. a proclivity for nibbling on women's earlobes
Hat Tip: Futility Closet
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 11:33 AM | Comments (4)
March 08, 2007
Word from an Israeli Mop
Karen and I just received this note from our cousins in Israel.
Dear Robert:
I hope you are all doing well and that you had a happy Purim. We had
great Purims. First on our yishuv, and a then on Shushan Purim in Jerusalem. Now starts the push to Passover.
I am a closet reader of Seraphic Secret. I enjoy it very much, although being the functional illiterate that I am, I don't quite get the Jane Austen quotes and references, even though I did read Pride and Prejudice and Persuasion countless years ago.
Along the same line (i.e. illiteracy) it seems to me that it may be somewhat "pompous" or daring to send you a word that seems to be unusual, since just because my wife and I don't recognize the word doesn't mean that it isn't well
known amongst you more literate types.
We found one such word on the label of a mop that we bought today.
Usually, when we find an unknown word on the label of a product we have bought in Israel, it turns out to be a "non-word," usually bastardization of an actual English word.
The word that was used to describe the mop was bibulous.
Now, assuming that this word is unknown to you and your literature-buff throngs, it is still probably not unusual enough to qualify for Seraphic Language since when you look at the actual meaning of the word, it makes sense (coming from the same source as the word "imbibe") but I thought it was a good excuse to drop you a line anyway.
bib-u-lous adj. excessively fond of drinking alcohol, late 17th century: in the sense absorbent: from the Latin bibulus, freely or readily drinking.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:30 AM | Comments (6)
February 21, 2007
Say the Word
a·cap·no·tic
n. a nonsmoker
u·ca·le·gon
n. a neighbor whose house is on fire
floc·ci·fy
v. to consider worthless
e·pi·car·i·ca·cy
n. taking pleasure in others' misfortune
ca·co·zel·i·a
n. the use of rare or foreign words to appear learned
Hat Tip: Futility Closet
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 09:34 PM | Comments (4)
February 16, 2007
You Talkin' to Me!
breed·bate
n. one who seeks an argument
viv·i·sep·ul·ture
n. burial alive
bo·an·thro·py
n. the delusion that one is an ox
leth·o·no·mi·a
n. a propensity for forgetting names
in·fan·dous
adj. too horrible to mention
Hat Tip: Futility Closet
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 05:41 AM | Comments (4)
January 30, 2007
Groak: Sigh, So Romantic
Here at Seraphic Secret we believe it is vital to learn something new every day. For those of you who follow this blog, you know we are deeply concerned with language--yes, precision in language obsesses us. Thus, when we find a word that we have never ever heard of, a word that we never even imagined, well, we sit up and take notice; in fact we sit up like happy puppies and smile.
groak
verb: to stare at a person longingly while he is eating
Hat Tip: Futility Closet.
Posted by Robert J. Avrech at 04:25 PM | Comments (13)
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