In light of yesterday’s post about Jews and guns and the vigorous, articulate comments from our readers I am republishing my three-part series about the LA Riots of 1992 in which Karen and I and the children were caught. We were unarmed. The police were, um, absent, and the bad guys owned the streets. It was a defining moment in my life.
Hollywood is burning.
Karen and I lock every door in the house, shut tight the windows, we move through the house switching off all the lights.
Gazing from our bedroom window we watch orange flames lick at the darkness, pillars of black smoke climbing into the sky. We can actually smell the acrid odor of burning rubber.
“Look how close they are,” says Karen.
“Just past La Cienega. Maybe eight blocks away.”
Karen gives me a long penetrating gaze:
“What do we do if they come here?”
My mind is racing away. The truth is we are defenseless. Unless I get crazy inventive like Dustin Hoffman in Straw Dogs.
“After this is all over,” I vow, “I’m going to buy a pistol.”
Karen says: “How about a shotgun?”
Dissolve:
Two Hours Earlier:
The rioters are surging towards the front doors of the theater. They are shouting but the glass doors are so thick we cannot hear what they’re screaming. The visual is quite enough. Their faces are twisted into expressions of raw hatred. The mob looks intent on some serious violence.
A few kids laughing, milling about aimlessly and in apparent good cheer. Hey, maybe this is just a community street festival.
We’re at a screening for a new movie. It’s a Hollywood premiere, a charity event for, get this, inner city youth.
I’m friends with the executive producer.
“Bring Karen and the kids,” the producer chirps on the phone,“it’s a kid-friendly movie, there’s gonna be a reception, and really Robert, it’s gonna be fab-u-lous.”
And so: because this producer is my friend and I want to support her movie, and because I’m a Hollywood screenwriter and personal relationships grease the wheels of the business, and because the producer is a player and admires my work, I schlep Karen, Ariel, eleven, and Offspring #2, seven-years-old, to the screening slash charity benefit in the DGA building on Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood.
What could possibly go wrong at a swanky premiere?
Inner City Youth Are Outside—But Not For Long
It is a Wednesday evening, April 29, 1992. The Rodney King tape has been running like an eternal loop on every network 24/7.
The film, a real stinker, at long last, cuts to its final fade to black. Everyone is now mingling in the reception area. Guests congratulate the producer, director and stars, assuring them that the film is: ”Great, just great,” and “the best work you’ve ever done,” all the expected and acceptable lies we tell each other.
Suddenly a chill sweeps through the room.
Something is happening.
It’s happening outside.
I step towards the large plate glass doors of the theater. The security men, two burly rent-a-cops, deeply alarmed, start locking the row of doors.
Snap, click.
Snap, click.
Snap, CRACK!
Mesmerized, I stare as something hard bounces off the thick glass. There is a tiny white wound.
“Step back from the doors,” the security men say.
I stay put. I want to see what’s happening.
“Please, step away from the doors,” they plead as more guests press forward trying to glimpse the fearful gathering outside.
I see it happening. A classic shot unwinding in slow motion: the mob swarms towards the DGA building, towards us: a thick wave of fury marching with a terrible velocity towards this cocoon of—there’s no way around this—Hollywood liberals.
Sheesh, talk about a target-rich environment.
It’s almost funny.
Here we are, inside, raising charity for inner city youth, and —
— and the inner city youth are outside trying to get in.
Not, mind you, to express their ever-lasting appreciation for our spectacular generosity. Nope, hard as it is to believe, but it looks as if the objects of our charity would like to lynch us.
Or maybe burn us to death.
Almost funny. But not quite.
Hey, This is Just Like the Movies, Only Not Really
Abruptly, we are plunged into darkness.
And as if on cue, a woman screams, just like in the movies.
Offspring #2 leaps into my arms.
Trembling like a frightened rabbit, she stutters:
“D-d-d-addy, what’s happening?”
Karen grips my arm:
“Robert?”
Ariel squeezes my hand, and asks:
“What happened to the lights?”
I’m thinking: Um, do I really look like I have the answers?
A rent-a-cop calls out: “We turned off the lights so they can’t see inside. It’s a safety precaution.”
Panic spreads like a virus through the crowd.
During the 1973 Yom Kippur War I had a long and detailed conversation with an Israeli officer, an incredibly brave and highly decorated tank commander who explained why Israel always beat the Arabs in war:
“We maneuver, we remain flexible, creative and liquid. The Arabs have a fatal tendency to fall back into a defensive posture. You cannot win a battle or a war when your position is static. We shoot and scoot. We keep moving, we probe the enemy’s flanks and then move in for the kill.”
Excellent advice.
We are trapped in the lobby and outside a mob of rioters are moving in, surrounding the building.
Time to go Israeli.
Part II: The Get-a-Way. In which Los Angeles devolves into anarchy, and the police are revealed to be helpless, hopeless and useless.
Part III: The Gauntlet. In which we make our escape and navigate through streets of fire and yours truly vows never to be at the mercy of a mob ever again.
Note: I’m frequently asked how I’m able to remember incidents in such detail, including dialogue, from so many years ago? It’s simple. I do not rely on my memory. I have been keeping a detailed diary for over 25-years. This post, as so many others, is based on my diaries. If there are gaps in my entries, I check with Karen. She was also keeping a diary, plus Karen has a phenomenal memory.
Wow, I can’t remember the last time I read something so mesmerizing.
Thank G-d you and your family weren’t hurt. My brother, delivering an order to one of his customers, passed through the intersection where Reginald Denny was attacked just 30 minutes prior. More and more, I think I’m going to buy a gun.
My favorite part was Ariel saying, “I have to pee.” Leave it to kids to always find the worst time to have to pee!
Thomas
Robert – I just reread parts 2 and 3 and some thoughts came to mind.
In some casual conversations with my Jewish friend I have learned that there is much wisdom – about life and human relationships – in the Talmud. I could give you a few examples of what has enlightened me but I suspect you already know them 😉
But I was struck my the simple affirmation of a husband and wife referring to themselves as the collective “we” and how that is a test for love.
The Lexus is at heart just a nice stout Toyota – with all the good that implies.
The .45 is a good choice but as I have learned over the years reading your posts your wife is wise – a shotgun for the home would be good – nice pump shotgun for protection – and remove the plug restricting the shells (put in for hunters – legal if you aren’t hunting) –
Audacity has won more battles than careful planning.
I remember going through Port Said in 1981 and still seeing the damage from the 73 war.
“Audacity has won more battles than careful planning”
Too true. And a major reason why elite units like the USMC perform so well—their elite status is a self-fulfilling prophecy, because their pride makes them more willing to do daring things.
Springfield 1911 — nice choice. What kind of grips are those?
I think Karen is right. A shotgun is a valuable tool to have too. There are many great shotguns out there, but for ease of use, I highly recommend the Mossberg 500. If Karen is going to be using it, you may want a .20 gauge instead of the .12 gauge. Either way, an excellent investment for under $500.
It’s hard to believe it was almost 20 years ago… so much has happened since then.
Robert – I remember this article when you first published it. And I have often wondered – both for myself and for you – if you had that .45 at the time – would it have been in Karen’s magical backpack?
Since you really weren’t expecting riots when you went to the theater….And if you were you wouldn’t have gone…
I am thinking as I am writing this – perhaps you wouldn’t have then but you may have now….
And liberals wonder what is so bad about a 3 day waiting period for a gun.
I was lucky to have grown up around guns and taught how to safely handle them and to always treat them with respect. We saw what they can do to a quail or deer and never acted like they were a toy. Two of my uncles lived outside the city where there enough guns in a 1 mile radius to topple a Central American government. But my cousins and I could ride our bikes anywhere in the area and our parents weren’t worried we would get caught in the crossfire of some gang war.
It’s a cliche but it’s true – guns don’t kill people, people kill people. And the police, as evidenced by Los Angeles, London, Paris, Watts, Detroit and other examples too numerous to remember, cannot protect us at all times. But while as a country we decry gun violence, how many times are gun possession charges dropped by prosecutors in plea bargaining. Why isn’t the mere possession of an illegal gun enough to send someone away for a long time? Gun laws proliferated after the King and Kennedy killings in 1968 just as campaign finance laws blossomed after Watergate. Has gun violence decreased? Has political corruption decreased? Liberals always want just one more law and then gun violence will disappear and politicians will be as clean of corruption as Mother Theresa. And of course we need to do communism the right way and it will succeed this time. Oh to be a liberal and not have to live in the real world.
Hmm, Mr. Avrech, does being Jewish slightly modify the mentality of gun ownership, since you can’t hunt (maybe varmint-shooting, or I suppose you could give any game you kill to a Gentile friend)? Or would game killed in that matter be treif just to handle?
There’s still plinking, I suppose, and shooting ranges.
What if, rather than trapping game alive and slaughtering it appropriately (the form hunting takes under Kashrut), Jews had just trained until they could Kosher-slaughter game on the run? Think how hardcore that would be!
And before anyone freaks out, I’m kidding—I was just thinking “is there any way Jews could hunt, other than trapping game?”, and that was the only alternative I came up with. Admit it, that’s a hilarious mental image, Kosher butchers, knives in hand, leaping through the trees after deer.
@Pax: The Talmud actually mentions one individual whose aim with the bow was said to be so dead-eye that he could perform a perfect ritual slaughter with an arrow loosed at a deer on the run.
That. Is. Awesome.
I was vaguely concerned I’d have to remind people that deer are kosher, but I guess not. Venison probably doesn’t come up much in kashrut, but apparently it’s common knowledge deer are a ruminant.
I just checked the reference and I see I misremembered. The arrow slaughter was performed on a bird mid-flight, not on a deer.
Kosher venison is available from farm raised deer. I’ve never had it, though.
Been years since I had venison, but you’re not missing out on much. It’s good, but honestly it’s not much different from beef—indeed, farm-raised deer is probably indistinguishable.
I was actually a little worried we’d annoyed you. Discussing guns on the Internet is frought with peril, ’cause everyone thinks he’s Jeff Cooper—if Jeff Cooper had thought he was a divinely-ordained prophet.
I don’t know if it’s actually true but it’d make sense if it was, but a bodyguard character in something I was reading said something interesting. He said that, for keeping back a mob, guns are helpful, but you also something like a mace or a machete, some really nasty-looking close-in weapon. Because most people haven’t been shot, but everyone’s been hit or cut, so they’re better able to imagine what’ll happen if they get too close, and it’s more intimidating.
Not that I wouldn’t also have a gun, though.
1911 Springfield .45
Nice piece. Am assuming you fire and clean it regularly.
There is an ongoing gun debate regarding Automatic vs Revolver.
Summary, (most salient point only):
Pro-Revolver:
-Automatics can jam, especially when infrequently used and kept loaded. The spring in the clip gets ‘used’ to being in its compressed position from a full load, and may respond sluggishly, and jam.
Pro-Auto:
Able to hold more bullets.
In the spirit of compromise and respect for gun-owners everywhere, my 2c offering:
Get both.
Use your preferred type as your primary, and the other as a backup.
Also, I highly recommend:
– Laser sight, activated automatically by contact with the pistol grip,
(this saves precious time lost in hesitation and concern about accurate aiming)
– Pachmayr pistol grips to minimize recoil
– extra clip for automatic, and speedloader wheel for revolver.
For the ladies:
An excellent site written by a woman who happens to be a gun authority:
http://www.corneredcat.com/
Also has some interesting suggestions about concealed-carry for the fashion conscious 😉
A lot of semi-autos are fairly complicated, but the Glock is often recommended to the non-professional shooter, due to its simplicity—there’s no safety, there isn’t even a hammer; just pull the slide to chamber the first round and rock-and-roll. It’s basically the same point-and-click interface (I should not find that phrasing as funny as I do) as a revolver.
Also important: caliber. For revolvers, it should be .45 Long Colt, .357 Magnum, or .44 Special—not .44 Magnum, unless you expect “self-defense” to involve a lot of tigers or pumas. For autoloaders, .45 ACP (or .45 GAP, which is the same power as .45 ACP in a shorter casing, meaning the guns chambered in it can have slimmer grips, ideal for those with small hands), .40 S&W (only in a “hot” load), 10 mm (sometimes hard to get), .357 SIG (also sometimes hard to get, but performance equal to .357 magnum), or 9 mm Parabellum (again, only in a hot load).
Since you don’t have to worry about the Hague convention, you’ll want hollow-points; they make sure the round puts all its energy into the target, and are much less likely to fly out the back of him and hit someone else. Careful, though, they can jam some older military-designed guns. What if the assailant has body armor (meaning hollow-points aren’t as likely to penetrate)? Easy, the Mozambique drill: two in center-of-mass, one in the head just to be sure.
Mozambique drill’s also effective on zombies and vampires, since they usually die if you destroy the head or the heart ^_^.
What’s a “hot load?”
A “hot load” is any bullet loaded with more firepower than the gun was originally designed for.
Here is a forum for cops that discusses the issue:
http://forums.officer.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-9588.html
A famous Hollywood film featuring Hot Loads, is Death Wish III
where Bronson ‘custom ‘hot loads’ his own , (btw, a Revolver 😉 )
btw, a Revolver
Sorry my mistake, 🙁
Bronson’s ‘hot load’ gun was a .475 Magnum Wildley semi-automatic designed for big game hunting and then hot loaded for more firepower .
(DW 3 was a ‘very long’ time ago … )