When Karen and I started Seraphic Secret, our single thought was that this blog would serve as a public voice allowing us to reflect on the life of our beloved son, Ariel Chaim. But human nature and the web have a way of altering plans.
Soon, I found myself writing about my novel, The Hebrew Kid and the Apache Maiden, and telling my readers about Seraphic Press, the publishing house Karen and I founded in Ariel’s memory.
Inevitably, I wrote about politics, an abiding passion, and I came out of the closet — as a Conservative Republican. No small matter in Hollywood, a town and industry that genuflects to the most radical elements of the Democratic Party.
Believe me, if I confessed to being a sexual deviant, a drug addict, a drug addict and a sexual deviant, well, Hollywood will embrace you. But admit that your politics are conservative, that you support the state of Israel, that you actually believe that radical Islam is a greater threat to world security than, oh let’s say, President Bush, or Prime Minister Sharon, admit that you own a gun, are a proud member of the NRA, admit that you oppose homosexual marriage, admit that you’re not alarmed by so-called global warming, and God forbid warn that the most intense anti-Semitism in America comes from our African American neighbors; well admit all this in Hollywood and you might as well cut your throat two ways at once. These oh-so-tolerant liberals are the most intolerant group you could ever imagine.
And so Seraphic Secret has grown tentacles. Intense cyber relationships have been formed.
Toronto Pearl, one of my earliest and most generous readers made the trip from Canada to attend The Ariel Avrech Memorial Lecture. You would assume that our initial face-to-face encounter would be awkward, maybe even a bit weird. But it was no such thing. It was a meeting of old friends who could practically read each other’s thoughts. Pearl ate every Shabbos meal with our family, she shmoozed with us and fit in like, well, like a member of the family.
Randi W, a more recent reader and commenter, drove from Chatsworth to attend the Memorial Lecture. Meeting Randi and her lovely mother was pure delight. I marvel at her generosity and her courage in showing up at an Orthodox shul for Randi just recently told me that she is, gasp, Reformed.
“There, I’ve said it,” she wrote, as if finally confessing some hideous family secret.
“Not to worry,” I wrote back, “I’m really not some ogre in a black hat.”
And just this morning I learned that Michael G. a Seraphic Secret reader was sitting shiva for his father. I got hold of his cell number and called, paying a cyber shiva visit. When I introduced myself there was a long silence.
“Robert who?”
“Seraphic Secret,” I said.
“Ooooh, Robert, Seraphic Secret!”
And then we talked, intimate friends connecting. Michael shared his grief with me, but went out of his way not to compare the loss of a father to a father’s loss of a son. Clearly, this is an acutely sensitive and articulate man, even in grief.
Another reader, Karen S. from Montana, recently sent me her wedding pictures, also photos of her lovely house nestled in a bucolic mountain. She treated me to an informal but gripping account of how she and her family, hugely proud Jews, ended up in Montana, not quite the epicenter of Jewish American life. I am amazed by the geographical quirks of the Jewish people.
Yes, friendships have flourished. Our lives are enriched; and always the lovely and generous comments about Ariel give us some measure of comfort. Karen and I are eternally grateful; for comfort is in short supply when a beloved child lies beneath the cruel earth.
Rabbi Fleischmann,
Love the sequel idea…and if the "Rabbi" thing doesn't work out, you certainly should consider a career as a casting director.
Drinks…lunch…just as long as your people call my people.
It does so well there's a sequel in which one of them becomes governor of California. Debra Winger makes a major comeback in the role of Rosalind. Tovah Felshuh makes her film comeback as the best friend.
I don't have time for lunch let's just meet for drinks.
Pitch-perfect!
Have your people call my people, and we'll do lunch. (Have I got that Hollywood lingo right?!)
Love it! Are you ready to take a pitch meeting?
Wow, Robert, I think I feel a screenplay coming on…Rosalind Rabinowitz,Jewish Valley housewife and her best friend Freida Goldstein, decide to run off on Shabbos, toting their husbands guns in hand…Upon committing a daredevil crime spree up and down the east coast,wind up in Florida, and while devouring their early bird meal in the local Kosher restaurant, they realize the Feds are after them. They quickly down their kugel and knishes and run for they lives. They are last spotted driving their motorized scooters off the penthouse floor of the Notorious Fountain Blue Hotel…screaming their last words… OY GEVALT, GEVALT, GEVALT, and then, as in all Jewish stories, a miracle occurs…the rushing wind fills their voluminous, flowered house-dresses, parachuting them right into the pool. Whereupon they miraculously LIVE!!! Only to be heard asking the pool boy for a “pina colada, and a towel please!”
I’ll accept royalties, thank you.
Neil:
Randi and I do probably disagree vehemnetly on most political issues, but decent people who cherish the same values should have no trouble bridging this gap. Besides, Randi doesn't know it, but I'm in the process of undermining her politics. Little by little I'm going to turn her into a new Jewish Republican. Before you know it, she's going to be going to the LA Gun Club with me and my shul friends, and she's going to be blasting away like Thelma and Louise. But don't tell Randi. It's a Seraphic Secret.
I am grateful for your site and feel connected to you through your writing.
Your comments re; talking politics with Randi ring true. I recently discussed this with a close friend. What do we do when we feel that the opinions of another are terrible (read evil) and yet we don’t want to reject the person but want to be their friend? The best answer seems to be to separate the ideas, remembering that the person generally strikes you as good, moral, kind, etc. If we remember that then it’s easier to take in the whole person and not write them off because we disagree so vehemently with our ideas. if two people can do this for eachother something major has transpired.
It’s like the Malbim says on judging people favorably – the words of the rabbis are, “hevei dan et kol ha’adam lekaf zechut.” While this is usually translated as “judge every person favorably, it may really mean ” judge the whole person favorably.” Even if someone says or does something that we see as unquestionably wrong, we should still see the person in a gebnerally favorable light.
I don’t know if you know Michael Medved but your sentiments in this post reminded me of him. He wrote an article about having his young daughter on the set when he was doing his TV movie review show. A producer (or some such person) gave the girl a chocolate bar. Like a nice frum girl, she ran to her father and asked if she could eat it. He said no, because it wasn’t kosher.
The woman who had provided the gift flipped out and compared to him to cult members in Waco. He wondered how she’d have reacted if his daughter couldn’t eat the chocolate because of a macrobiotic diet or any other of myriad possible reasons. He suspected no reason would have offended her as much as the assertion that G-d had forbidden eating that chocolate bar.
Randi:
I would hope that if we did discuss politics that we would do so without rancour and with full respect for one another. As you know, Karen and I are deeply honored that you and your mother made the trip to the lecture. By the way, your question about forgiveness is a good one and I'm hoping that we will provide a coherent answer in the next day or two. In any case, we are glad and relieved that you have found a safe emotional harbor in Seraphic Secret. We hope to continue this dialogue for a long time.
Robert,
I am struck by this entry (as always) and had to respond. Your words illustrate how things have changed since I was a young girl. When I was 8 years old, I “pen-palled” with a cousin in N.Y. the old fashioned way, through “snail mail”. She was 2 years older, so of course I was in awe of her. I remember so looking forward to receiving her letters. It was a connection to another world, a private world that only she and I shared. Cut to the 1990’s/2000’s and the advent of the blogging world, and suddenly one can have 100 “pen pals”. And, in a sense, it is still a private world, only now, it’s sharing thoughts and feelings within the confines of the blogging world. What I have found most fascinating for myself, is finding this connection with you and Karen just through the feelings you have expressed about the life and death of your beloved Ariel. As I have stated before, you and I should never discuss politics!…but somehow that doesn’t matter. Because where I feel my connection with you is in matters of the heart…I too, had to come to know (at too young of an age) what it’s like to have your heart ripped in two. I feel grateful to have stumbled onto your blog, your private world that you so willingly and openly share with others. It is not easy to come by people who are willing to communicate so deeply. So thanks for creating this private, pen-pal world for all of us to share in. Oh, and by the way, I have never been “outed” before…I feel like a celebrity!!!!