Here are Karen’s opening remark’s for the Third Annual Ariel Avrech Memorial Lecture. Afterwards Mrs. Rachel Friedman lectured brilliantly, and then Cantor Avshalom Katz lovingly chanted the “Kayl Malei Rachamim.” There was a lovely brunch where Seraphic friends met face to face for the first time. Karen and I want to thank everyone who attended, but especially Seraphic Secret friends who made such an effort and traveled, in some cases, so far, to attend and honor Ariel’s memory. Karen and I are deeply grateful for your generosity.
********************************************************************************************************************************************
Karen’s Opening Remarks
On Shavuous the Jews received the gift of the Torah, but I also received a private gift two weeks ago.
When you hear a new story about a loved one, it is almost like cheating death. You feel like time is moving forward for just an instant, because you have a fresh glimpse of this person. The new revelation, a snapshot of the person allows you to steal some extra time from the past, a life story you thought was sealed, now has a new chapter.
I received such a gift Erev Shavuous from one of Ariel’s oldest and dearest friends, Ari Miller. He told us a Shavuous story that is emblematic of Ariel. The boys of Yeshiva Gedolah had all stayed up all night for Tikun Lel Shavuot, The small group from this side of town decided it was worth it to walk back in the early morning craving the comfort of their own beds rather than crashing at friends for the entire holiday.
After walking four miles, as the boys neared the home stretch Ari recalls, “I was walking on auto pilot most of the way but the excitement of crawling into bed in a few minutes must have given me a second wind. As I neared the park bordering my house I became more awake. At that point I remember that Ariel was still giving divrei Torah and he probably had not stopped the entire way home.”
This was Ariel, always focused on Torah, never one to compartmentalize his life into the “fun” parts and the “Torah” parts. Everything was integrated and he never wasted a moment. When he left the house he tucked a sefer, under his arm, even for a five minute car trip.
One of Ariel’s friends told us that a la Charlie Brown, Ariel told him his definition of happiness. Here goes: Happiness, according to Ariel, was sitting in Bais Midrash struggling through a torturous sugyah, portion, of Gemara, Talmud, solving it, and then going out for a cool, tall, glass of water.
Ariel’s Kever, his grave, includes the phrase, Yagah V”amal B”Torah. He worked assiduously and with great effort at the study of Torah. We recently saw a movie where people envisioned Heaven. Jokingly one person said- It’s like when you want a Mountain Dew, you don’t even have to do anything to get it. You just think of it and you’re quenched.
Well, I don’t think that’s Ariel’s version of Gan Eden. I think he is still working and struggling at Torah. As to whether he is immediately quenched or he actually drinks that tall glass of cold water – I will have to see for myself. I do know that the best way we can honor him is to devote this day to learning Torah in his memory, and to walk that extra mile every day still talking Torah.
This is one time I have to take less credit. I did not work for hours on my comments. Once I heard Ari’s story, I just knew that I wanted to speak at the lecture. I had no plan to speak before that-the story was the impetus. The remarks all came together on a walk, and I wrote it up in less than an hour. Sorry Robert, this one was easy. Ariel’s essence is so clear that somehow the parts come together like a crystal, perfectly balanced, sharp, unblemished and true.
Sarah:
Thank you.
Beautiful.
MH:
Ariel ZT’L was remarkable and so is my remarkable wife. I thank you (and everyone) for recognizing the beauty and focused intensity of her remarks. Karen worked for hours on those few simple words. You have taken away my sadness–if just for a moment, with your kindness. I am grateful.
I loved Karen’s comments. People work their whole lives to achieve that kind of focus and work ethic – Ariel a”h sounds remarkable. I think it’s a testament to the type of parents you and Karen are and to the environment you’ve created in your home, that you were able to raise such a wonderful son. I wish I could take away your sadness. May you only experience simchos and nachas.
MH
Randi:
This is the second year in a row that you have honored Ariel’s ZT’L memory and our friendship by attending the lecture. Gratitude and thanks seem pale words to express what we feel, and yet this, our language, is all we have at our disposal, and so, thank you for the true generosity of your heart and intentions.
Last year you showed up in shul wearing a pants suit and looked around and realized, oy-vey, you were the only woman attired thus. I think Orthodoxy was a far shore for you. This year your a landsman; you showed up in shul attired in a beautiful ankle-length black skirt, and long-sleeved blouse, looking every inch the chic orthodox babe. How sensitive and observant of you.
Randi, you are a true friend. I am so sorry that you never met Ariel, and that he never had the pleasure of hearing your wonderful life affirming laugh.
Sara:
You of all people, have an intimate knowledge of “indescribable pain.” The loss of your precious Timmi is also an open and raw wound. Hence your b’racha has an added holiness to it that we are well aware of. We return this b’racha to you and hope that our precious children are watching over us from Gan Eden.
Robert and Karen,
It was so much fun to meet fellow bloggers, and as you said, to put faces to the words.
Thank you for a lovely day.
But most of all, for sharing Ariel with all of us.
Robert and Karen,
I’m sure I speak for many other members of the Seraphic community in deeply regretting that I could not attend the memorial lecture.
Karen, what a lovely story, and what a beautiful gift to receive – may you continue to receive such gifts for the rest of your lives.
And may your warm and wonderful memories of Ariel z”l help you bear the indescribable pain of having lost him.
Sara
Suz:
Oh, gosh, what a lovely and generous person you are. How we’d love to meet you. Thanks so much for your blessing and please accept ours in return.
Robert and Karen, I am truly sorry I could not be there. Hopefully, next year. What wonderful memories of Ariel. You bring him to life to those of us who never knew him. God bless you both and your family. Suz
Lance:
You have been a Seraphic friend for years now. You have visited Ariel’s grave and there you have offered prayers for his neshama, his soul. We are glad that Mrs. Friedman’s Torah shiur enriched your life. We thank you for your friendship and wish you only the best on your future endeavors.
Robert,
I just got home….after making some stops in the Valley.
Karen’s remarks were very beautiful….
The lecture was remarkable….Rachel did a wonderful job…What impressed me most was that Rachel didnt assume anything about her audience. She expertly added explanations and biographies so people less knowledgable would not be left out.
The brunch was wonderful too…and I met some really nice people.
May the merit of the beautiful day be a blessing for Ariel’s Zt”L soul.
Ralphie:
Thanks so much for attending. It was deeply moving to meet you and the other Seraphic Secret readers in person. To put face to words, so to speak. Karen and I regret that we were unable to spend more time with each of you, but hope to in the future.
For honoring Ariel’s memory, you have earned our deepest respect and gratitude.
Thanks for having me. It was a moving experience. I am looking forward to reading the Book of Ariel and listening to its accompanying CD.
Bravo, Robert. Any alias that this man uses is just that: an alias. Each time he writes in, or rather “rants in” it’s evident it’s him.
I’d thought that he was missing in action for some time, and thought, maybe this man has a conscience of some kind and disappeared from Seraphic Secret for good. Apparently not…!
What a chutzpah, to put it mildly, that he posts comments as he does,and when he does. What an insensitivity, what a “boosha”!
Regarding the comment directly above, signed by “Stemka.”
Seraphic Secret readers will note that this comment was actually written by a man known to long-time readers as: Jobber.
Jobber, who, after a long and much appreciated absence, has unfortunately, returned.
A little backstory.
On March 30, 2006, at 10: 26 am EST, Jobber was blacklisted from Canonist after posting comments under my name that were outright lies. Steven Weiss, owner of Canonist noted that this blacklisting was “the first time” he had blacklisted anyone on his website.
At the time, Jobber’s IP was: 65.202.172.134
Jobber was working at SDI Technologies in Rahway NJ.
All day long, Jobber was using SDI Technology computers, and company time, to write false comments and then sign these comments using my name.
This is a fair warning Jobber. There will be no more.
If you post one more comment on Seraphic Secret we will contact your employer.
The best way to honor him, would be to stop promoting hatred of other people, as you do 24/7.
Just because someone has a different political opinion than yours, is not a reason to kick them all day long.
The best honor you could do, would be to devote some time towards resolving problems that many have w/ making tuition payments. Nothing glamerous, just Chessed.
Instead, you continue to promote, the RIght wing devil bush, in your elitistic way, that is only going to cause the American people, to vote your side out of office.
Karen,
Lovely words you shared yesterday at the shul with the audience, which Robert is sharing today with your many, many readers.
It cannot ever get any easier, regardless of the passage of time, to host such a lecture, knowing the reason you are all gathered there at the shul. But I hope you and Robert and your family can gain some comfort as you look around you and see familiar and not-so-familiar faces, old and dear friends and new and welcoming friends, and realize they are all there for the same reason: to honor Ariel’s, z”l, memory. The lectures and the publishing company and what they represent are indeed a wonderful tribute to Ariel and his interests. You have found such appropriate ways to honor him.
You were excellent role models for your dear son, and he was a role model for you and continues to be for so many of us who didn’t know him. A perpetual student of Torah, Yiddishkeit, and of performing mitzvot, Ariel defines “menschlichkeit” combined with “zeeskeit” (human decency + a natural sweetness). He may no longer be with us in body, but his vivid spirit truly lives on.
May his neshama continue to have an aliya.
Josh, Rachel, Yehuda Ariel:
Karen and I greatly appreciate your thoughtful b’racha.
Jake:
I don’t know why, but your story of the young lady with absolutely no direction in life just brought tears to my eyes. I thought of Ariel and I thought of My Movie Girls and everything just got all jumbled together… It’s a hard day today. I’m emotionally drained. As always, thanks.
Though always with you in heart, wish we could’ve been there in body too. Next year in Yerushalyaim, b’ezras Ha-Shem.
The stories about Ariel’s life remind me of my absolute saddest day teaching at NYU. During a one-on-one conference with one of my students, I asked her what her interests were. To make a long story short, it took about 20 minutes for us to find that she really didn’t have an interest, a passion, even a hobby. Her whole life was attending school and just going through the motions. I think there are a lot of kids like her out there today, and needless to say, they’re at risk for drugs and other kinds of abuse.
Then you hear about someone like Ariel, who not only knew what he loved, but pursued it and was able to pursue it to a glorious extreme. It’s not that young people should feel bad if they aren’t as committed to something like Ariel was, it’s that they should be inspired to achieve some level of devotion to something similar to his.